We are very independent, therefore we might not always appreciate authority. Personally, I don’t mind authority as long as their rules are logical and beneficial to me. If someone over me is forcing me to do something I think is pointless, harmful, or just not beneficial in any way, I get annoyed because someone else is holding me back from what I could be. That is when I can’t tolerate authority, however I think it is fine as long as they aren’t too controlling.
The only authority INTJs obey is logic and reasoning.
There’s no authority in the INTJ’s mind. It doesn’t matter if you are young or old, junior or senior in rank, doesn’t matter who you are.
We pay no attention to titles or authority. We do what’s honest and what we perceive to be the correct course of action. We have few qualms about challenging authority figures if we think their course of action is wrong. We question the utility of rules. If the rule results or will result in what we think is a good outcome, we’ll follow it. Otherwise… it would almost irk us to leave it unchallenged, the consequences of doing so be damned.
How does an INTJ deal with authority?
We INTJs are some of the best subordinates. We’re smart, observant, attentive, goal and system oriented, and usually very caring. We generally don’t like gossip or petty going-ons.
For competent authority, we’re usually a dream.
For incompetent authority, well, we’re either outta there, or we’ll help the figurehead or puppet destroy themselves with their own incompetence by just encouraging them to keep doing what they are doing x10 to speed up the process. We’ll take up the slack in the work they should be doing as a leader, but discreetly from behind the scenes. If an authority figure is incompetent, it’s best they keep other incompetent people around them so they can keep their head above water by bullying and convincingly pointing their finger at others around them to distract from the real issue coming from the top.
If you know how to lead though, an INTJ is quite possibly the Spock to your Kirk…your very best advocate and true blue friend (just never a yes-man).
I handle it just fine if it’s competent.
If it’s not competent or the rules are stupid, then there are … issues. I’m the sort to use the system against itself. I was the kid who worked the system in high school to make sure I was never in class but was always out of class on some kind of school activity or other. I got so good at it that there were some weeks I could avoid all but maybe a day and a half or so of actual class. I figured I didn’t need to be there so long as my grades stayed up.
I can do the same with incompetent leadership from people too if I have to.
But if I like the system and the people, I am perfectly happy to do what I’m directed.
Do INTJs have awareness of the instant connection with ENFPs, or not until much later?
Instant connection between an INTJ and ENFP is NOT guaranteed, just as any other relationship. Each INTJ and ENFP will vary from values, to quirks, and preferences. Although you can’t predict 100 % whether there will be a connection, there is a simple questions as a starting point:
At the initial meeting:
- Is the meeting one on one? Or is it a group setting?
- What levels of introversion or extroversion is preferred for each person?
- What setting are they meeting in?
- Work Setting
- Mutual Friend Setting
Humans are complex, and to make matters more complicated, the baseline for the initial connection may also change with new discoveries of each person. Funny story, as an ENFP in my early 20’s I had a mutual male friend that was INTJ, and our initial reaction to each other was very different from when we got to know each other on a deeper level. The INTJ wrote me off as an “air-headed” party friend, while I categorized him as distant, and cold at times. It wasn’t we ended up seeing each other in different settings that this changed, he was looking into different business ideas for selling anti-glare glasses.
INTJ: Here’s a sample of the glasses.
ENFP: Oh cool, you’re thinking of selling these?
INTJ: Yeah they have helped me, just need to get a plan, and need a name.
ENFP: Nice, you should look up the patent database, and business search to ensure the name, and branding is available.
INTJ: * A look of surprise* I didn’t know there was a database for that. I thought you were a bubbly party girl.
ENFP: Yeah I get that alot since there’s no reason to chat about these things in friend settings.
That’s when his perception changed.
My perception of him changed from cold, and distant when I was going through a tough time, and he offered up an extra room. He even helped me move. He was a man of little words, but his actions spoke so loud, I knew that people like him were just rare. It completely changed my perception, and made me understand that everyone is so different from each other. Each person has their own way of doing things, and that’s the beauty of it all. What’s the point of all being the same anyways? We’re just wired differently, and I always joke that if an INTJ and ENFP were to morph together, that we would just take over the world.
How long does it take an INTJ to confirm they love someone? Is it a question of how long will it take for me to tick all the boxes on his checkbox list?
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Has he let you work on a project with him?
- Has he asked you for help on a project that’s important or personal to him?
- Has he invited you to spend “alone time” with him? Not sexual time; meaning, has he simply asked you to be in the same room when he’s trying to think or is reading/daydreaming/doing something else that doesn’t involve conversation?
- Has he allowed you to be present and possibly talking during his usual quiet time?
- Does he gravitate to whatever room you’re in, even if he doesn’t necessarily engage in direct interaction with you?
- Has he allowed you to interrupt him when he’s focused on something?
- Has he given you a thought-out list of possible solutions to your personal problems?
- Has he initiated an intense or deep conversation with you?
- Has he admitted a weakness? I don’t mean a weakness for chocolate; I mean a bone-deep fallacy that he wishes he could correct?
If you answered yes to at least 6 of the above, he’s probably already in love with you.
If you answered yes to ANY of the above, he just might be falling for you.
Here’s the kicker about my species, and it applies to both male and female: we are more likely to express our feelings through action. We often forget that other people need verbal confirmation. For us, simply allowing you to stay in the same room while we’re working is a pretty big admission of feeling. Actively asking you to join us is tantamount to shouting it from the rooftops.
It took a long time for my husband to understand this about me. He expected me to eventually morph into the lovey-dovey, gossipy females he had always dated before he met me. For me, simply wanting to be in the same room for overly extended periods of time is…epic. That I actively want him there makes it more special. When he finally understood that, he realized I’d been confessing my love since we met. Just because I don’t often say it out loud doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. I’m showing him how I feel by choosing to be where he is at all times.
For an introvert, that’s a big deal.
What are the talents of an INTJ over an INTP? What are the talent of INTPs over INTJs?
I think it depends on the individuals
But strictly speaking based on cognitive functions:
INTJ’s Ni is an efficient intuition, it sorts the possibilities it sees and arrives to 1 most possible scenario on its own. The INTJ doesn’t have to bother sorting all the possibilities by themselves. They can do other things and not stuck on their intuition while their intuition is working in the background. They just need to wait until Ni has done its job and it will deliver the “aha” to the INTJ. Unlike INTP, they may need a long time just to come to one conclusion because Ne doesn’t sort everything for the INTP, it just presents possibilities, then the INTP decides which one they want to use. Ne doesn’t come with one or two possibilities, but sometimes it can get so overwhelming. Everytime the INTP thinks, “ok, I think this one will work,” another option comes then they will have to think about it, compare it to previous options, over and over and nothing gets done, because of the constant, “but what if…”. Well not really since they are dominant judgers, but making a decision can be really tough at times. Ni also makes the INTJs very ambitious and goal oriented. They want to be the best and achieve great things in life. If they believe someone is standing between them and their goals, an INTJ would not think twice to cut that person off (according to few INTJs that I know, including my sister).
INTJ’s Te is an efficient thinking function that looks to apply their visions to the external world. This makes them hardworking, efficient humans and workers, they see what works for people, they don’t waste too much time thinking about possibilities and other things that plague INTP’s head (because the Ni does that job for the INTJ), and not just that, these guys tend to know about a lot of things that are useful for their lives. INTPs too, usually know a lot of random stuff but rarely usable for their lives.
INTJs Fi makes them emotionally deep people but they really don’t appear emotional on the outside. They appear stoic, mentally and emotionally tough. They don’t put their feelings on the table for everyone to see. They are very aware of their values and their worth and refuse to deal with people’s bullshit. While INTPs are the epitome of emotional retardation. Having Fe inferior, they aspire to please people (though not all people, but some that they truly care), but some people will take advantage of INTP’s naivety, and INTPs having Fi demon, totally blind to their moral compass, self worth and values, are easy targets for bullies. Fe inferior and Fi demon, INTPs put other’s feelings first above their own. Of course with rigorous practice they can start to learn valuing themselves, but oftentimes it’s easier said than done. I however admire INTJ’s Fi. They speak a lot of wisdom through that function and it’s refreshing to my soul (not exaggerating or making it up). Fi makes an INTJ able to stand alone even if the world is against them, in this situation, the INTP is more codependent with people, they will need someone to make them feel they belong to because of their Fe.
INTJ’s Se, although repressed, but they are pretty good with details in their external world (although their Ni is super awful with details), compared to INTP’s Si. INTPs are unaware of their external world, but yet always think they are aware (Se Trickster). This makes INTP very clumsy when doing things with their hands, they often have to repeat doing one thing multiple times until they get it right
I actually had one funny experience with a bunch of INTJs (on their Facebook group). Someone posted a mathematical problem in a picture. I kept missing all the details in the picture so I had to keep redoing the Math until I got it right (I got the steps correctly but not the details in the picture), while they could do it just once (although some INTJs got the details correct but the answer wrong and an ENFP made fun of them lol because she could solve it correctly yet those INTJs couldn’t).
With my sister, it’s also the same. She’s an INTJ. Whenever she does something with her hands, either cutting papers or whatever, she always does it correctly and properly, while I’m very clumsy. Either I cut way too far from the lines or whatever.
INTJs Te along with Se makes them actionable people, while INTPs are hard core procrastinators. An INTJ would have gotten their own apartment, cars etc by 25, the INTP is still thinking what they wanna do at their 30s.
INTPs Ti makes them meticulous thinkers. Unlike INTJs Te that only picks data as long as it works and useful without further analysis. So when they find that it no longer works they’ll have to find another alternative. Because Ti’s efficiency is effectiveness, but Te’s efficiency is speed.
INTPs Ne makes them see things in different angles, but INTJs Ni make them come off assuming and single minded. Ne makes INTPs effective problem solvers. Ne also makes the INTP take life as it comes so they aren’t big planners. And if one plan fails, an INTP won’t cry an ocean over it. There are tons of backup plans they can think about. If an INTJ’s plan fails, it will drive them up the wall.
INTPs Si (when mature) makes the INTP’s memory a bit better. INTJ’s memory is super awful, they are the real definition of “senile” in action (Si demon). This is especially obvious in my sister. There’s not a day when she hasn’t lost something and would call everyone in the house to help her find her stuff. Every morning before work, there’s always something she’s looking for. Always. Either her keys, her paperwork, accessories, name tag, whatever 😂😂😂 no, she doesn’t smoke, doesn’t use any substances in case anyone wonders.
INTPs Fe (when mature/developed) makes them empathetic with people. This makes them appear warm, although sometimes it’s just a show (admittedly), they are more persuasive and able to build rapport with people. INTJs Fi (actually it’s more of the behavior of Fe Trickster) makes them appear cold, appear like they lack empathy, self centered (although maybe not so deep inside, i know my sis is very caring, but she doesn’t show it very obviously, but only about people she cares). (Most) INTJs are also prone to praise themselves, so appearing “narcissistic” (no offense), while (most) INTPs have problem with self esteem.