Oh, God. It’s AWFUL, like not being yourself. I can tell you what happened to me a few years ago.
I started university and I immediately had the impression that that new stage of my life I was in for was way more complicated than it looked. Totally overwhelming. I was anxious, I didn’t manage to sleep at all, all I wanted to do was to cry and stay in bed, I ended up being depressed. And my colleagues seemed to fit perfectly and go with the flow, which worsened my feeling of loneliness and being awkward and useless. Things happened a lot faster than I could react and adapt to my new environment. I think this outcome is the plight of always overthinking. So I couldn’t stand it and quitted thinking. It was no use. Then I wanted to do all I never did: live in the moment. I arrived home everyday and spent the rest of the day watching a TV series I had already watched countless times. Again and again and again. I knew I wasn’t studying but I didn’t care. I did care afterwards. I regretted not having been more aware of my impulsive actions. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s that I simply couldn’t. At some point, I had lost control of the situation. I wasn’t my true self. Moral of the story? Go to see a therapist when needed. I had to do it.
How do I know that an INTJ loves me?
You will receive that one thing that you aren’t thinking about, their time. They may give up certain activities to spend time with you. Being alone is an activity, and if they give that up (not totally, they are still kind of human) to be with you it could be love or they have strong feelings toward you that can possibly be misconstrued as love but the potential is definitely there.
INTJ’s want efficiency and optimisation so if you find them doing things to help your life run more smoothly or them getting you items to the same the effect then it’s a safe bet that they care deeply for you, love is still up for debate but that’s probably where its going to end up.
TL:DR. They’ll spend time with you, they’ll get you stuff (more functional than romantic)
Why do people say INTJs are the most robotic humans?
I absolutely dismiss the idea that INTJ’s are the most robotic humans. I’ve had the grace of knowing 3 different INTJ’s in my life, looking at their stack function will help us understand how they are in fact, fastidiously working for the betterment of humanity at their best, and are deeply feeling individuals.
Dominant: Introverted Intuition (Ni)- After gathering raw data, they create a holistic picture, image of something, someone. Introverted intuition takes time, and is like the flashing of a light bulb. They sense things in their gut, and “know”. Once you are “in” you are “in” their friend group.
Auxiliary: Extroverted Thinking (Te)- They present their ideas, thoughts, feelings, point of view. In a highly ordered fashion they speak their thesis, requiring individuals to listen intently. This is where people might perceived them to be robotic, but they are so detailed oriented, in speaking logically. Listen, and try to understand, don’t interrupt. Logical arguments make INTJ’s feel great.
Tertiary: Introverted Feeling (Fi)- This is where a lot of INFJ and INTJ are different. INFJ are actually more robotic, because they lack Fi using Fe. Fi is subjective, and according to their inner experience and world. Fi is willing to go against social conventions and norms, while Fe, is concerned with what is social appropriate, and therefore seems less authentic. INFP, ISFP users also use Fi all the time, which actually means a sharing of using introverted feeling. Of the INTJ’s I’ve known, they can be deeply concerned. I’ve known some INTJ’s to draw, even write poetry. Many mature INTJ’s appreciate art and even study it. I’ve met INTJ’s who struggle with social anxiety, in the similar way as I have.
Inferior: Extroverted Sensing. Many INTJ’s love sensual experiences. They like good food, are sensitive to smells, temperatures, sounds, textures in the world. They love a good snack or candy, they are sweet-tooths in the same way as INFJ’s. They like comfortable settings. They are cognitive of germs and unclean environments. Most INTJ’s I know strive for orderliness and cleanliness (if they have time).
So in fact, INTJ’s are not robotic at all. Many of them can be extremely romantic to the ones they love, they create well thought out plans, experiences, and gifts. They want to know and study their friends and romantic partners. INTJ’s often love sci-fi, movies, books, etc. They are deeply private individuals, and only with those whom they trust will they reveal themselves. They, like INFP’s, have a deep inner world of memory. To the outside world they look robotic, but to those whom they know they are so deeply kind and caring. They want to be useful, respected, and loved.
What is an INTJ with developed Fi like?
An INTJ with developed Fi is what we might call a balanced individual. They are balanced about their feelings, emotions and values. INTJs may not be the easiest people to share their feelings or to socialize (trickster Fe aka PoLR Fe), but they are well aware of their own feelings and emotions. Their Fi is tertiary, which is in a valuable position. Fi is also a comforting function for INTJs. A healthy individual likes to use this function when they are recharging. Healthy INTJs like to reflect on their emotions and values when they are relaxing. Just like INTPs like to reflect on past experiences and memories (tertiary Si) when they are rejuvenating.
Long story short: INTJs with developed Fi look like balanced individuals with a good awareness of their emotions and values. They know who they are and what they believe is important to them. They look everything but the stereotypical robotic evil mastermind.