INTJs seem a bit odd to others. It is as if they have very little to say most of the time, but when they speak they “know” they are right. For most people this seems like INTJs spend a lot of time being mysterious then come across as arrogant when they choose to speak.
What is actually happening is that INTJs build these really complicated, fact stacked on fact, knowledge models in their heads and, unlike the vast majority of people, don’t talk about stuff they don’t know much about. When they do talk it is because their fact-model is relevant and they “know” the answer – it all stacks up.
INTJs are not mysterious, they are just a lot more sensible than most people – and because most people don’t want to be sensible too they like to see INTJs as mysterious – this allows them to happily keep making stuff up and ignoring evidence etc.
Note: as an ENTP I make stuff up lots of the time, but I am well aware I am being lazy and ignorant when I do – I don’t argue with INTJs unless I have very strong evidence 😉
What’s the hardest partner for an INTJ?
There are a lot of people that would make awful partners for INTJs. These, I think, would make the worst ones:
-A needy partner that requires lots of validation, attention and proof of love.
-A controlling partner that needs to know what you are doing, reading, working on and that looks over your shoulder to see what you are reading, watching or writing
-A close minded partner, one that refuses to see others’ point of view or educate him/herself before expressing an opinion or that refuses to see proof that he/she is wrong
-A dumb one
How do INTJ react when someone is provoking them?
It depends.
In the intellectual arena, the provoker ought to hope they have a watertight argument because INTJs often take great pleasure in slaughtering an inferior or untenable position. INTJs also don’t seem to pick losing battles in general, so they may be resistant to provocation when they know they can’t win – which is rare because INTJs tend to discard any argument that doesn’t have facts and logic on its side. The only time you’ll outsmart one there is if the INTJ has filled themselves with incorrect or ideological information, or is immature enough to believe certain fallacies that tend to be proven wrong with time and experience.
Mind games don’t work on them, really. They don’t like to play mind games. If they see someone doing it, they tend to realize quickly and refuse to play. Some will take up the challenge if sufficiently riled, after learning their tormentor’s weaknesses. Emotional manipulators beware – you had better be immune to your own venom, because INTJs can play that game too if they want to. People who like to belittle or insult for a rise also better beware that they can handle what they dish out. INTJs really don’t give a damn about an enemy’s feelings, once you have become the enemy.
Interesting thing about INTJs is they do have an innate sense of fairness and justice that is somewhat child-like. So, treat an INTJ well and they will treat you well, in reciprocation (their internal innocence has no reason not to); but abuse an INTJ and they will never forget it nor forgive it – when you violate the child-like trust of the INTJs internal self, then you’re shut out forever. If you subject them to endless torment, they will despise you and hope you meet a most unfortunate end, and they won’t feel an ounce of shame for that. An enemy is literally dead to an INTJ.
In the case of physical confrontation and provocation, INTJs are well aware of the risks of engagement and seem to avoid physical confrontation if they don’t feel up to it. However, provokers should know the INTJ has a beast mode if you push them too far. You really don’t want to find out what it looks like or what it is capable of.
Why do administrators/supervisors dislike INTJs?
In my experience those truly entrepreneurial and intelligent bosses do appreciate what an INTJ can bring to the table. However those who are not, who are pre-occupied with mind games, power games, trying to lord over people for the sake of their own ego will abhor the INTJ because the latter is resistant to being controlled, cowed or manipulated. INTJs will walk out of a job if such a person decides to target and bother them. Perhaps some of them are intelligent enough to pick up on this lack of peon-demeanour, and they really don’t like it.
That I agree with…Being one I prefer to the things the most efficient way. Which does not look good on a supervisor that gets paid to give directions. I typically don’t need many if, I know the end goal. Is that a bad thing think about it you think that if Hitler’s right hand man would’ve been in control all of the craziness would’ve actually happened. He was pretty sharp. We are not known for being extremely detailed oriented unless necessary like an admin (who’s job is to type and detail those things).
Example situation: Oh there’s a problem. I’m the one that typically would respond “OK” and then five minutes later “it’s fixed”. Meanwhile, the supervisor would want to do a long PowerPoint of how we should fix the problem and the administrative person would want details of what needs to be fixed.
Where the jobs really are not that necessary. If you really think back, in history how many people really cared about the people that were writing the Bible versus the people in the Bible. King James never was a writer that should be a clear sign. Admin are necessary just an FYI.
Most people dislike anyone they cannot understand, especially the introverted NT’s, like INTJ’s and INTP’s