I think the technical term may be: “cuteness overload”. 😄
ENFPs have this magical ability to fully disarm the INFJ without even trying hard! It’s almost like they are born with a key that allows them full access to the heavily guarded, locked up, top-secret inner world of the INFJ.
Some signs you may be interacting with an ENFP:
- Engagement is out the roof
- Conversations flow smoothly
- “Finally, someone understands me! WOW!”
- ENFP articulates what you’ve been thinking about, this happens over and over again
- ENFP will call out your BS and see right through your “Mask” but not in a demeaning way – in a cute way lol!
- Very hard to resist the charm
So, while the INFJ motto may be: “Kill ’em with kindness!”, the ENFP motto is: “Kill ‘em with CUTENESS!”.
What is it about ENFP that INFJs are attracted to?
ENFPs are creative and really good at getting people to laugh, even INFJs. ENFPs are also able to get INFJs to come out of their shell more than other personalities because they are supportive and non judgmental. This attracts INFJs because INFJs secretly want to get out of their shell but are afraid to. This is because Ni and Ti are constantly telling the INFJ that they are weird and it’s not smart to open up. ENFPs also aren’t afraid to talk about deep things and will open up with you as well.
I think that another reason INFJs are attracted to ENFPs is INFJs and ENFPs are like a distorted reflection of each other. The INFJ shadow is basically an unhealthy ENFP, and the ENFP shadow is an unhealthy INFJ. INFJs don’t necessarily want to be with someone with the same personality as themselves, but do seek familiarity. They want to be with someone who understands them, but also who is completely different from them. ENFP is one of the only types that fit this description.
Another reason ENFPs are attractive is because they are not afraid to look stupid. INFJs are constantly telling themselves that they have to be a good example and lead through their actions. What they do is important. Don’t. Mess. Up. This is why INFJs sometimes become “different people” depending on who they are around. ENFPs expect nothing but for the INFJ to be themself. ENFPs are also really good at spotting when someone is being fake, and they are one of the only personality types that is able to read an INFJ. ENFPs also understand that it’s better not to pressure the INFJ to tell them what’s wrong right at that moment. They know to check in on the INFJ, encourage them, but won’t force them to explain what’s going on. For an INFJ, just the fact that they noticed means a lot because INFJs are so good at hiding their feelings, but expect others to still know how they feel.
Do INTJs have awareness of the instant connection with ENFPs, or not until much later?
Instant connection between an INTJ and ENFP is NOT guaranteed, just as any other relationship. Each INTJ and ENFP will vary from values, to quirks, and preferences. Although you can’t predict 100 % whether there will be a connection, there is a simple questions as a starting point:
At the initial meeting:
- Is the meeting one on one? Or is it a group setting?
- What levels of introversion or extroversion is preferred for each person?
- What setting are they meeting in?
- Work Setting
- Mutual Friend Setting
Humans are complex, and to make matters more complicated, the baseline for the initial connection may also change with new discoveries of each person. Funny story, as an ENFP in my early 20’s I had a mutual male friend that was INTJ, and our initial reaction to each other was very different from when we got to know each other on a deeper level. The INTJ wrote me off as an “air-headed” party friend, while I categorized him as distant, and cold at times. It wasn’t we ended up seeing each other in different settings that this changed, he was looking into different business ideas for selling anti-glare glasses.
INTJ: Here’s a sample of the glasses.
ENFP: Oh cool, you’re thinking of selling these?
INTJ: Yeah they have helped me, just need to get a plan, and need a name.
ENFP: Nice, you should look up the patent database, and business search to ensure the name, and branding is available.
INTJ: * A look of surprise* I didn’t know there was a database for that. I thought you were a bubbly party girl.
ENFP: Yeah I get that alot since there’s no reason to chat about these things in friend settings.
That’s when his perception changed.
My perception of him changed from cold, and distant when I was going through a tough time, and he offered up an extra room. He even helped me move. He was a man of little words, but his actions spoke so loud, I knew that people like him were just rare. It completely changed my perception, and made me understand that everyone is so different from each other. Each person has their own way of doing things, and that’s the beauty of it all. What’s the point of all being the same anyways? We’re just wired differently, and I always joke that if an INTJ and ENFP were to morph together, that we would just take over the world.