Hello,
as an enfp and long time partner of my intj I thought I would answer this. It’s hard to take distance with your relationship so I will take the angle of “what differs from others”.
The relationship is very deep. I know couples around me who almost never have deep conversations. We almost only have deep and metaphysical conversations.
We have a lot of fun being childish. Very few people see this, but with me he is very funny and cute, almost like a kid. Together we are truly children, having fun and exploring. This was absolutely unexpected and other people could never guess this side of him.
I can count on him (and he on me, of course). I hear stories of partners who don’t show up, who don’t do what they said they would. This never happens. He is very reliable. This matters to me a lot and even though it is not intended that way I find it romantic.
He needs his cave. In many different ways. He needs time. He needs space. He needs his space. I need to do the same to bring balance, and be free and independent as well. Otherwise there could be resentment.
I need to be driving the notion of surprise and novelty in our long term relationship. Basically I sometimes have to have a conversation where I remind the benefits of keeping the mystery alive, be romantic and really, do something else than his work or his serious hobbies. Usually he agrees and at least tries what I suggest. I never expect it to come from him and I am never disappointed. I know for some people it could be harder. I feel his love for me in a different way that’s all. I also like that he is just keen on doing things with me.
Overall I am with a smart and kind man who lives up to his own expectations and it means a lot to me. Understanding and respect are key to happiness because he is a bit “different “ than what our society has showed us was a “typical behaviour “. I personally love this difference even when and if it drives me crazy 😉
How is the order of MBTI type, ordered by from the most likely to celibate, to the least likely to celibate? Could you explain each type briefly?
Could you explain each type briefly?No apparent logic, I’m afraid
- INTJ: Poor emotional expression; has no equals; has more important things.
- ENTP: Can’t stand people — people can’t stand her.
- INTP: Misunderstood; smells bad.
- ENFP: Don’t like commitments; will have what she wants when she wants it.
- ISFJ: Likes solitude. If she wants company, company will come.
- ISFP: Already married to herself.
- INFP: Problems with bonding.
- ENFJ: Already married to Humanity as a whole.
- INFJ: Bad experiences, but doesn’t like being alone.
- ISTP: Needs company but doesn’t like chasing. One is sufficient and secure.
- ISTJ: Won’t make it alone.
- ENTJ: Won’t exist alone.
- ESTJ: Won’t have any power alone.
- ESTP: Will feel silly being alone.
- ESFP: Will die being on her own.
- ESFJ: Will simply never be alone.
Umar Al-Konshens, I am an INTP, Enneatype 4w5 SP/SX
I’m not going to even attempt to rank all 16 types, but here are some famous celibates:
Isaac Newton – Lifetime celibate – INTJ
Immanuel Kant – Lifetime celibate – INTP
Florence Nightingale – Lifetime celibate – INTJ
Nikola Tesla – Lifetime celibate – INTJ
Mother Teresa – Lifetime celibate – INFJ
Ted Kaczynski (UNAbomber) – Lifetime, involuntary celibate – INTJ
Buddha – Celibate past age 35 or so – INFJ
Jesus – Lifetime celibate – INFJ
INTJs and INFJs dominate this list, so I would surmise than Ni Doms are most likely to be celibate.
I’ll note in passing than SP types tend to, as far as one can generalise, have high sex drives, so are probably the least likely to be celibate, and if so, involuntarily so. It also seems to make intuitive sense (intuitive sense, get it, lol) that Se doms would be least likely to not be celibate, so we will probably have ESTP and ESFP at the bottom of our list.
How do INTJs flirt?
The most common points from my experiences:
- By gathering knowledge (Real world observations & Google)
- Deciding to go for it or not (Are all the criteria boxes are checked?)
In their natural habitat, INTJs are straightforward and open. They don’t want to play “social contract” at all. So once all the criteria boxes are checked, an ideal “flirt” dialogue for an INTJ would be:
“Hey, I am interested in you because of my X, Y, and Z observations about you. Thus, I think we may give it a go… Shall we?”
And that’s it. (Short version of the answer ends here)
Additionally (Longer answer):
- When they play the social contract game, they will give subtle hints of their intentions. But their main aim is to make you the one who comes, the one who’s interested first. They will create unsure, “Could be?” moments just to see how you react. So that the INTJ can calculate the outcome more precisely.
- Happy/Excited/panicked? Then the odds are on the INTJ’s side to gear up; kind of disturbed/distant/cold? The INTJ steps back.
- They will observe you, your dialogues with others, how you act and talk, and try to categorize you inside their heads to have a shortcut on their calculated outcomes of possible move, and they also calculate the possible ending (seriously).
- The moment they have your name, if possible, they will google it, and learn from whatever result is relevant.
- “So you liked that band in 2015, and posted about it? Hmm, I actually liked that band too. Nice…ish.”
- “She has very few selfies, that’s always a good sign.”
- “Damn, secret profile… Brick wall here. Which is nice that she made it secret. Why would you make your private life public? To put on a fake show? That’s stupid.”
- “Linkedin page shows that she has a degree in X, hmm that must be challenging.”
- “Ah come on! Why would you give that pose with Pisa Tower…”
- “She can write nice articles, and express her thoughts on complex concepts. Hmm!”
- And when you see them again later, they act like they have no idea, but they ask questions about those, and see how much of that information you tell them.
- Notice that, even at this point the INTJ may not have done any moves you can easily categorize as “flirting”, you may be going paranoid at this stage if you’re also interested. Which is good for the INTJ, because odds are quite there, but your defenses are getting weaker, which means you’ll make the first move. Which is the safer option for the INTJ… or you will simply give up and give the INTJ a “wtf” moment.
- If INTJs are only physically attracted, in that case they may assume any role that they see fit. It’s then more difficult to describe. Depends on the specific person’s ability to socialize, and past experiences. ie: An experienced one can assume the predator mode.
- If the important criterias aren’t met, INTJs will quickly lose interest, and this time you will be the one who’ll have a “wtf” moment.
Seriously, if you’re flirting with an INTJ, he’s (I know no female INTJs in person, so I’ll refer as “he”) probably googled your name (as he does with everything else), and learnt a lot about you if your online identity isn’t anonymous.