There are a lot of people that would make awful partners for INTJs. These, I think, would make the worst ones:
-A needy partner that requires lots of validation, attention and proof of love.
-A controlling partner that needs to know what you are doing, reading, working on and that looks over your shoulder to see what you are reading, watching or writing
-A close minded partner, one that refuses to see others’ point of view or educate him/herself before expressing an opinion or that refuses to see proof that he/she is wrong
-A dumb one
How does an SJ type see an INTJ?
Hmm… I have an INTJ for a girlfriend and I got to know more of her INTJ tendencies over the years.
Her tendencies always seem to be the following:
1. Ability to see through things.
2. Reads between the lines.
3. Reaches conclusions through connecting information from various sources.
4. Doesn’t like unplanned, unscheduled, or spontaneous activities.
5. She’s a mastermind. Plans and executes her plans really well.
6. She’s quite reasonable. And I think INTJ’s are very reasonable.
7. She doesn’t like repeating things over and over again. So listen carefully and mindfully. If you need her to repeat, just admit you weren’t listening properly. hahaha… 😀 Which sometimes happens to me since I tend to jumble information.
8. She’s has quite a cold and snobby front. But once you get to know her personally or you’ll learn to love her traits and person as well.
9. She explains stuff very well, and usually is right 99.5% of the time. So that 0.5% percent are times when I’m right. But it’s not quite a big deal really.
10. She’s loyal.
11. She evaluates situation according to new information.
12. When you talk to INTJ, they do listen. Let them speak their mind out and you’ll learn a lot form them.
13. Make sure that when you argue with them, your statements, claims, or position do not contain B.S. If they do, expect it to be shot down instantly.
14. They have an inner world where they reveal vulnerabilities. Only a few get to be in their inner world. When you do get in, please treasure it.
15. Don’t take things personally when an INTJ snaps at you. It’s not you, it’s the thing they’re snapping is causing them distress or discomfort.
16. Lastly, INTJ are not impossible to love. As an ISFJ, I see my INTJ as someone who builds you up. Just listen to them, and you’ll grow into a more wonderful person than you’ll ever be on your own.
How do I know that an INTJ loves me?
You will receive that one thing that you aren’t thinking about, their time. They may give up certain activities to spend time with you. Being alone is an activity, and if they give that up (not totally, they are still kind of human) to be with you it could be love or they have strong feelings toward you that can possibly be misconstrued as love but the potential is definitely there.
INTJ’s want efficiency and optimisation so if you find them doing things to help your life run more smoothly or them getting you items to the same the effect then it’s a safe bet that they care deeply for you, love is still up for debate but that’s probably where its going to end up.
TL:DR. They’ll spend time with you, they’ll get you stuff (more functional than romantic)
Why are ENFPs infatuated to INTJs?
They are fascinating to us.
So calm, quiet, reserved private. We are eager to know more. Us ENFP’s find it easy to read people and get to know people pretty quickly, we have this skill of communication where we can just know if someone’s a good or bad person deep down. We can read people’s emotions very well, and that’s a strength we have.
Until we’ve met INTJ’s.
Indeed yes I am a female ENFP, and yes I fancy an INTJ male. What makes us so drawn to them is the fact they’re the only type we CAN’T READ. They are so impossible to read, and that intrigues us to the max. We wanna learn more and get to know them. We have this need to go deeper, because we know there is something so deep within. We are fascinated. Also the fact they’re so organised, passionate, calm, so private and just interesting people. We could talk for hours and not get bored. We also understand their need for space. They’re just such rare and fascinating humans. We want to dig deep and see what’s within an INTJ. What lurks there. We love INTJ’s. Also their minds are so desirable, we love listening and could listen and talk and ask millions of questions to an INTJ and never get bored.
This answer matches 100% what the ENFPs I know have told me. I’m INTJ and I asked them this out of curiosity.
Yeah, they say it’s because we (INTJ) are deep and stuff but, while this can be true, maybe it’s because we’re one of the few types who knows how to shut up and actually listen to what the other person is saying, instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.
I had an experience similar to yours. Don’t know about their types, but I used to like having deep conversations with extraverted people. But then I realized that for them it was just chit chat that they’d rarely remember a week later (like most of what they talk about) so now I rather be in silence as well