How do you make a narcissist respect you?
You should be aware of one simple fact – narcissists don’t really respect anyone, especially in a functional sense. They can have respect for someone if it is potentially beneficial for them, but it is difficult to expect honest and authentic respect from someone who is neither honest nor authentic. What a narcissist can do is respect a person’s power, privilege, money, physical appearance, prestigious occupation, social status, unavailability – in other words, they can “respect” everything they want for themselves, except the person who possesses those things.
Even that “respect” for superficialities other people possess is laced with envy, which is also one of the core characteristics of the narcissistic personality. In some instances, it is important that you make a narcissist “respect” you, because you might work with them, have children with them, or something similar, so you are unable to just walk away. There is still no magical cure for narcissism, so employing different strategies to make them at least pretend to respect you might sometimes be necessary.
In today’s video we show you how to command respect from a narcissist so you can take control of the relationship.
A Non-Dual Approach to Shadow Work
A man from Los Angeles has become aware of both anger and narcissistic tendencies along the path, which surprised him. He asks how to integrate shadow work when these aspects come up. Rupert suggests he notice the impulse, but not identify with the anger or the narcissism, because what he truly is, is neither angry nor narcissistic.
This clip has been taken from Rupert’s Seven Day Retreat at Home in August 2020.
How do narcissists seem to know how to read people?
Okay. Once again, it is time to set the record straight. Narcissists do not read people, they “read emotions.”
Why else do you think they keep poking and prodding to get an emotional reaction from others? Narcissists thrive on emotional reactions of others because it gives them that temporary rush, a high, of an illusionary sense of superiority. They think, ironically, that if they can get an emotional reaction out of you, that they somehow have control over you.
They are sadly mistaken. Remember, narcissists always underestimate their target. Why? Because they cannot read people as humans and they cannot read minds. The fact no one can read minds irritates narcissists to no end and is precisely why they are NOSEY little creatures. Narcissists have to be all up in your beezwax.
See, the devil cannot read minds. The devil can only read emotions because he feeds on them. The devil is using narcissists as human vessels, and that is why the narcissists need to feed on emotions. They are adrenaline junkies. Yep. Narcissists are hooked on norepinephrine, NE, (aka adrenaline).
Narcissists can read emotions because they are familiar with them yet have no desire to regulate them. We all experience the same emotions. The difference between narcissists and non-narcissists is that non-narcissists know how to self-regulate. And we are not addicted to NE.
No one can read “people.” We can observe behavioral patterns and predict based on history, but thats it. No one can read minds, except God the Father. Narcissists operate based on their emotions so they know whatever stirred up something in them will likely stir something up in someone else because of biology.
Think about the obsession with everything that involves an “emotional” element. Why do you think that exists? It is because the devil only feels alive when people are acting and thinking based on emotions. Narcissists only feel alive when they can create an emotional reaction in someone else.
How can you demoralise a narcissist?
I found this to be very easy to achieve. The first thing to avoid is revenge. All that does is make one appear to be the “bad guy”, and it also makes it extremely easy for the narcissist to point fingers, prove you wrong, and gain support from others.
Another thing I did, other than to simply avoid all of the narcissists in my life, is to ignore them, regardless of what they say and do, which includes ignoring their very obvious and blatant smear campaigns. By being silent and ignoring their “trashing” of you, you make them look bad. It may take a while at first, but over time most people with at least half a brain will be able to see who the main antagonist really is.
The only other thing I did that really gets under the skin of narcissists with whom I have ever had the displeasure of knowing was to be myself. And by this I mean to be successful, and when you can’t be successful then at least try to be. Be loving (which also means being friendly to all), giving, caring, accepting (and when you can’t be accepting then at least be tolerant), intelligent, to spend time learning (i.e. become knowledgeable), generous…and above all, NEVER let what a narcissist says or does bring you down. That’s how they get their supply…you don’t want to feed that.
A narcissist is pretty well incapable of achieving any of these things; hence, the reason they try so hard to bring people who can do these things down to their level. If you can do all of these things while eliminating a narc from your life they will see (out of the corner of their eye) what you’ve become, and they will be perpetually squirming with envy and hatred of you. This “hatred” of you will be seen by others, and eventually people will also see just how ugly they truly look. This is how you demoralise a narcissist. They will see just how futile their attempts to bring you down were. What goes around, comes around…karma is a bitch that way :-).