Narcissists tend to have more than their fair share of conflicts and broken relationships. But as Dr. Les Carter explains, they rarely take responsibility for the problems they generate. Instead, they cling to The Victim’s identity…strongly. But as you understand the reasoning behind their posturing, you can detach from the emotional strain they throw your way.
Should I tell a narcissist that I know their games and who they are?
Should I tell a narcissist that I know their games and who they are?Realizing you are dealing with a narcissist, is like breaking the Enigma Code.
You now know their modus operandi, their plan of attack, their systematic game against you and others.
Should you reveal you have cracked the Enigma Code, that you are on to them?
My usual view is, no. Don’t let them know.
Instead, avoid them where you can, let them get away with small inconveniences against and, where it matters most to you, leverage all your knowledge and understanding against them.
So that any material attack against you, backfires tremendously on them.
They will not really process you are on to them, but will feel quite confused. They will see you as a danger zone, even though they do not understand why.
And they will not mess with you.
Check out my YT channel, where I talk about narcissism – Joe Inda House
This is the ONLY Way to Make a Narcissist Respect You
This is the ONLY Way to Make a Narcissist Respect You//Do you want to know how to command respect from a narcissist so that you are no longer living in fear of them or paralyzed worried about they are going to say or do? There are a few secret tricks to getting narcissists to be the ones eating out of your hands instead of the other way around. In this video, I am sharing all of them including the one big one – the only one that will really have them giving you the props you deserve.
ABOUT ME:
Hi, I’m Rebecca Zung, I am a narcissist negotiation expert. I’ve been recognized as one of the top 1% attorneys in the United States.I’ve written a couple of best-selling books, “Negotiate Like You Matter” and “Breaking Free: A Step By Step Divorce Guide”.
I help people negotiate with narcissists in business settings, divorce settings, family law settings. I help you get out of those relationships with your dignity intact and with the outcome you want and deserve.
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnhT…Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact an attorney in your state to obtain legal advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.
Why do narcissists want to gaslight you?
Theory of Mind develops at around the age of four years old. This is where we realise that we don’t know what other people know. It’s an important precursor to empathy, for to empathise, there has to be somebody else just like me. There has to be another mind.
Having retreated into fantasy well before this point, the narcissist thinks that there is only one mind – theirs.
Everyone knows what the narcissist thinks they should know, believes what the narcissist has assigned them to believe.
The narcissist is not interacting with people, they are playing with dolls.
However, the Toys are Revolting.
The narcissist has assigned you with a role, and a limited set of knowledge. Being a Bad Doll, you seem to know more than you should. But that’s not the game. You’re ruining the game. When you go back to knowing what you should know, you will become a Good Doll again (lack of Object Constancy).
I’m certainly not saying being a Good Doll will be a pleasant experience for you – it will not.
Using hatred as their tool the narcissist sets about making the world right. Gaslighting is one way of doing this. The narcissist is attempting to make you know only what you should know, only what you know in their fantasy version of you.
It is as though the narcissist has been playing with dolls, when suddenly one of the dolls says “no, I’m not a fireman, and I don’t want to go into that building! It’s dangerous! I’m a landscape Gardener and my name isn’t Bob, it’s Max!! And you set the building up to collapse on me! I saw you!”
The narcissist is enraged. You’re just a stupid toy! You will do what you are told! The building is going to fall on you, you’ll go to hospital and be crippled for life, that’s the game!
If you transition from perfect lover to evil villain, that’s the game!
If you go from evil villain to benign, though short term benefactor, that’s the game!
You don’t have characteristics of your own, you have whatever the narcissist assigns you for this particular game. The Narcissist decides the game, not you!
You’re a f*cking toy!
Thus the narcissist, with single pointed determination has learned a bunch of tricks, neurolinguistic programming to smash human minds back into the game that is being played. If the narcissist says something didn’t happen, that’s because in their mind you don’t know that it happened.
The narcissist knows what you know, but you are just a toy! You cannot fathom the unknowable God! You are not Good! You are Bad! Bad dolly! Naughty dolly!
Smack smack smack,
Robert