Lady Lawyer Defends Protest from Manipulative Cop who misrepresents law

 

Comments:

  • Easement. The goddamn easement. Why is this officer so uneducated? 🔥🐖🔥
  • That officer is an idiot. From the Telephone poles to the street is legal
  • Every state road, every county road comes complete with a utility easement, and public easement. I am not from or at Pennsylvannia however this is pretty standard in most if not all states.
  •  @SHARK  I admit they have a right to protest, but protesting generally is ineffective. Also, these are a bunch of old conservative men they’re trying to provoke, so I don’t think they’re going to change any minds. People driving by wont be persuaded either.
  •  @A  This isn’t the typical protest. They are documenting and exposing the actions of the club. Now, people can see what garbage people they are and can be shamed by their community. We both agree that their protests are legal, which is good. The actions of the club are not legal, though. Cruelty to animals should not be accepted.
  • I can’t believe that cop is a supervisor. I mean, sure, hire regular cops that are as dumb as a brick. But, how can someone this freaking stupid be a supervisor? He needs to be in a state mental hospital eating crayons and smelling his own farts.
  • The police do not protect the public they are now used in corporate business that’s the role they have taken acting for and on behalf of
  • Disrespect towards woman.
  • Lmao, once he knows she’s a lawyer, his attitude changes ……… “Aww, I’ll go to the courthouse and look up the property line”. … You think if she wasn’t a lawyer, he woulda said that?
  • This reminds me of small town in kansas. The police stand up for people that is big people in the community !! And dont matter who is right !! Didnt think id see an atterny doing the right thing !! Good for her !!!
  • Best cops money can buy atleast if your a member of phili gunclub. Phili cops Corrupt From The Bottom To The Top
  • You’d think the cop worked for the gun club, taking the old angry guys words above an intelligent, good hearted attorney.
  • Why do they have to move? They gonna melt the snow covering the dead grass? 🫣
  • Cops gets so angry when someone knows the law more than them.

Police use pretext: falsely alleging the license plate light was out

A classic example of a cop fishing. So much for the 4th amendment and the oath the officers took to uphold the Constitution. Breaching the 4th amendment, especially in such a casual manner should mean being terminated from employment for both officers. How many times have you heard a cop say,’ignorance of the law is not a defense’. It should work both ways and corrupt government officials must be held to account
by The People.

I was actually surprised that the cops agreed to his request to get out of the car and check the light; particularly since the stop did appear to be pre-textual. More often than not, cops typically will refuse such a request “for their own safety,” of course.

Most people assume cop is being honest or is just to scared to question them. Love this guy checking ,we all know cops lie and bullshit to pull people over and then hemming them up . Love he recorded too ,if everyone did these little things that this guy did cops would maybe stop this shit .

 

I get that cops make mistakes, but the minute she pulled the car over and walked up on it, she could clearly see that there was nothing wrong.

 

I’m honestly shocked she agreed to let him check knowing she was lying, did she expect her partner to stall him or something?

 

She still ran your license after you indicated to both cops that the plate lamp was fine. This is not a mistake! This is phishing and harassment to try and get you on some other crime. The stop should have ended as soon as you showed the 2nd officer that the plate lamp was fine.

 

Never surrender your 4th amendment rights until you have verified the reason for the stop. Your plate lamp trick and the air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror are the cops favourite go to excuses.

 

A mistake may happen however, as a “professional” there is a certain level of due diligence which these cops MUST succeed.
If in fact this cop authentically believed the plate light was out, she had substantial opportunity after turning around, pulling the vehicle over and walking up to the vehicle before speaking with the occupants. This may have been a mistake at first but once “negligence” entered the picture, it is no longer a mistake. It became a “breach” of these people’s rights.

 

After confirming the light was not out, the cops should have said, Sorry, provided their information and left these people alone but the female cop proceeded to run the license of the driver. This was egregious at this point. This becomes contentious and causes me to believe the female cop was deceitful from the onset and even before pulling the vehicle over. My assumptions cause me to think that the female cop literally made it up when the driver asked why she was being pulled over.

 

Notice how the officer quickly went to run the ID after plate lamp was discovered to be working. Should have ended right there.

 

This is the reason states are looking to abolish the practice of traffic stops for petty crap like this. Oregon (I could be wrong) even went so far as to end the practice of “fishing” by police. They can only ask questions that pertain directly to the reason for the stop.

 

And that, sports fans, is what we call an illegal traffic stop to conduct a fishing expedition.

 

Glad you got out to check the light, who knows how far they would of taken this!!

 

Case law has clearly established and states that a traffic stop is over immediately once the reason for which they pulled you over is established as incorrect/an honest mistake unless during the stop they find something else that is illegal that they can further detain you…like a seatbelt violation or drugs in the open, etc.

 

What a “B” she knew damn well their light wasn’t out. They didn’t think the guy would get out and check it. They wanted to hem them up on something else.

 

“sometimes we accidentally violate your 4th amendment rights, it happens get over it” this is why cops have lost their credibility and respect.

 

i’d like to give the cop the benefit of the doubt since she quickly owned up to her ‘mistake’ about the light, but with her probing the driver “why is he angry? is everything OK?” makes the whole stop seem like a fishing expedition.

 

Cop: “it happens sometimes. People make mistakes and we definitely were not targeting you. But mistakes happen all the time and sometimes those mistakes are intentional but it happens. No big deal”

 

“i apologize. i was mistaken.” but, she still took your information and ran you for wants and warrants, AFTER you caught her in the lie. cops like this not only deserve complaints in their files, but also deserve to be put on the brady list.

 

This is “dragnet” style policing, and they don’t care how many people’s rights are violated in the process. This is what you get when the police are desperate to account for their massive budgets, but have not the capability to prevent crime or actually keep people safe.

 

How are you a cop if you can’t see that the light was working while driving behind them and then even worse when walking toward the car.

 

It’s a tactic they use, talk to the wife when husband not nearby, and speak in a “concerned” manner to the woman. In all the auditor vids I’ve seen with wife/gf in the situation, cops always fish more aggressively with the woman.

 

Know you know we feel as black people, this shit happens all day, months, and years!!! We can’t even get out to check until they tell us too!! Only in America 🇺🇸

 

The driver asks the passenger why does he think this is happening if the plate lamp is not out but she’s the one who trusts the police, go figure.

 

All occupants should be on the same page. Notice how cops almost always take the same position; follow the tone set by one considered ‘in charge’… We should be like that too. Having one person stand up and one have a passive, go along to get along attitude is often very destructive as far as police encounters go.

 

Classic argument when an officer gets push back “why is he so angry?”  Trying to make it seem like this guy is wrong for wanting proof before they get ticketed for something

 

Need to get Body Cams for this BS

 

I think every time they pull someone over in “error” they should pay a set fee out of their own pockets!

 

I got pulled over 20 years ago in Compton, California for having my front view mirror obstructed by a pair of dogs tags. Here’s the funny part… I was driving a lifted full size Ford Bronco with tinted window in the back. The cops pulled me over followed for over two miles… Explain to me, how the F$&k could they see what was hanging in my lifted truck 🤔 They couldn’t… and they just used that as an excuse to search my truck and feed off my ignorance. Give it that I was only 19 years old at the time. I now wish a Mofo would try to pull that BS now! 😡

 

Wow…..that was thee MOST heart-felt apology I’ve ever heard….”It happens”…..

 

Surprised they let him out look at the light. Most time when people ask they told no stay in car you can check after the stop is over.

 

I have had this happen a couple times , always late at night . Looking for DUI people on the road . That cop chick was lying her ass off . What is funny is apparently in her world lying is justified .

 

If she was behind them and thought she made a mistake that’s okay it happens,
But as soon as she walked up to the car she would have noticed it. The passenger and the cop’s partner were standing behind the car and both agreed it was on. The lady cop should have walked up to the window and said, sorry for the mistake I thought you plate light was out, now that I got up to your car I see it is working. Sorry again and have a nice evening. The fact that she walked up to while passing the plate and still asked for the drivers info, just proves that cop is dishonest.

 

So she wants everyone to believe that she didn’t know that the light was working fine although she walked right by it?

 

Bruh this is so perfect. One person completely trust the police. Totally respects the police and they are pulled for no reason. Even when the officer walks up to the car she can see the plate light is on. She should say hey my bad the plate light is on I couldn’t see it from my car. You are free to go. Instead they violate your rights and identify you with no cause. Lol. I will be filing a complaint which will do absolutely nothing. It felt good to say I’m sure

 

Once they saw the deputy was lying they should remain silent and not answer their questions. This was a BS stop to try and get a reason to search your car.

 

Ehh, it’s good they called them out. However the whole point was to run her license. At the time they recognized that the light was working fine it then became an illegal stop and she should have never surrendered her license. But at least she’s following up with a complaint.

 

Obviously a fishing expedition by the police. If the cops thought that her tag light was out, it would have been obvious to the cops that it was working as soon as they got out of their car and approached the vehicle. The stop should have ended there with an apology from the officer.. So then the cop started asking intrusive questions that insinuated that there might be some sort of domestic violence in progress. Very deceptive.. And the police wonder why the growing public has become increasingly negative towards the police.

 

This couple should FOIA dash cam and body cam footage of this incident. I’d give anything to hear the two officers’ conversation prior to and after the stop. This was clearly a pre-textual stop and it’s quite possible they would have discussed carrying it out prior to effecting it. And if they had any insight at all, they would know just how badly they had f***ed up, and that a complaint was incoming and they’d likely want to discuss ways to effect sme damage control. Depending on what’s there there could quite possibly be fruitful grounds for a civil rights law suit too. Kudos to the couple for putting these cops firmly in place.

 

As you see the metamorphosis of a citizen distrusting police.

 

Same thing happen to me .But the cop would not let me out of the drivers seat so i asked can my wife check .The cop went to his car and said it was a mistake. I left after shaking my head at him and said to bad your fish did not bite. We also had him on camera.

 

It’s funny to me that people still don’t understand that the police are not your friends

 

See how she intentionally lights the flashlight in to the camera when she sees that she is being recorded.

 

biggest potential victims would be the dogs that would be put down and taken away for a lie from a tyrant. they wonder why they are actually hated. with the full extent of the word.

 

I wish all this existed back In the 90s and 2000s. So many times I got pulled over illegally and searched. Also passengers getting id for no reason. Now I know my rights

 

Meanwhile if she realized she pulled her over in error she should have just let her go but she just wanted to run her license so bad

 

“You have a plate lamp out” Although we can clearly read/scan your plate w/o lighting, we’re gonna need to steal both your time and money anyway. I continue to have no sadness in my heart when blue liners die.

 

Its 1:45am and she lied as pretext to pull you over, assuming you may be drunk. These kinds of traffic violations should not be subject to police enforcement. Make people get a yearly vehicle inspection and stop pulling people over for these types of things that often lead to worse outcomes.

 

Classic pretextual stop. She got busted and decided it would be a bad idea to do her usual fishing expedition. Not everyone is gonna get out to check if she’s telling the truth. My guess is that department has an illegal quota system.

 

copsplaining: ‘I would never pull you over for no reason.”
reality: I pull people over for made up reasons every day.

These types of stops infuriate me. I’ve had similar but only realized it later due to seeing the same lie here on YouTube.

I am shocked they allowed him to exit vehicle. Next time they will say no for “their safety”

She shouldn’t have taken her license further than the Jeep when she saw that the light was not out. This is plainly a stop and ID for warrants….

Just another fishing expedition for another corrupt police department… Thanks for honoring your oath !

They still got their I.D. fix. That’ll get them thru another half an hour maybe until they have to harass someone else. When an active warrant comes up, it justifies all the lying in their minds.

Back the BLUE till it happens to YOU.
Another citizen lost.

Lady Cop: why did you still run her name if there was no crime?
Man Cop: why didn’t you tell the lady cop to stop if there wasn’t a crime?

I live in my an they pull this shit all the time. I’m shocked they let you go look. But the moment they seen the light works the stop is over an you must be released. But they didn’t want on a fishing trip.

always film the police!!!!!

All these cops do try to do is give you extra traffic citations. She made a mistake and she apologized. Again a BS charge.

Homestead Police – UNLAWFULLY detain man

Homestead police are some of the most unprofessional, arrogant, egotistical and incompetent cops in the state. They’re a disgrace to policing.
I love when cops are incredibly aggressive towards a passive person, and claim the citizen is acting aggressive and needs to calm down
The way they are saying “calm down, you’re all worked up,” when the guy is just sitting there calmly and not raising his voice at all.
I like this angle. They keep acting like the homeowner is super upset. It’s one of their tools (like accusing people pf interrupting…when normal conversations are happening. A tool to shut you down.) The homeowner is so under control. He could have kept reiterating that he is under complete control of his emotions. Don’t buy into that gaslighting. They will even lie about that. Another good get, James Madison Audits. Thanks.
Respect to the cop who’s video this was . He gave him I’D and was the only one that was OK. But unfortunately the rest will poison him or force him to leave.
Black male cop aggressively demands he “shut up” about 6 times. Other cop mocks him for knowing his rights, forcefully demands he sit like a dog, and that barely scratches the surface. Then acts surprised when he labels them A-holes. How out of touch can you possibly be? You really don’t get why people hate you? It’s like a Twilight Zone episode.
The cops are telling him to calm down and they’re the ones who are escalating the situation and getting worked up.
I’ll be damned if cops are going to order me around like a dog on my property. I’m not going to sit on command.
as a former Law enforcement officer I am very Offended by these officers actions, Total disgrace
Cop: “She can be pregnant.” As though he’s ALLOWING her to be pregnant.
Police Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they say the word “listen.”
When will people learn NOT to ask “What am I being detained for?” The right question is “What CRIME am I being detained from?” Less chances for the public servant to answer “For investigation”.
All of this talking is unnecessary, simply say “I want to talk to my lawyer”. At that point the cops MUST stop asking questions.
That many officers acting that way definitely the culture of the department
As a former police officer too, you and I both know that they got word over the phone or radio that they were at the wrong address. I’ve seen other channels that were unable to get info because there was no incident report for this address. That’s because everything is under the actual address the warrant was being drafted for, and the department was conveniently using this as a way to deny turning over anything citing ” mistakes on request form”
This is a perfect example of why I always say that any man or woman that wants to become an officer MUST have at least two years of formal law college training. They ALWAYS make up laws and violate laws for to justify their lies and actions.
That was badass. Did you see him pull out that cop kryptonite? A recording device. As soon as he pulled out his secret weapon, “the recording device”, the cops just scattered, like when you turn the lights on and the cockroaches run.
His first mistake he came outside
“What Academy did you go to ?” Calm reply = ” I’m not answering any questions.” These detectives, police attitudes = We don’t have him yet = the hilarity
First mistake was opening the front door. Talk through the door and see what they want, but never open the door to allow them to grab you and pull you out, or even put their foot in the door to prevent you closing it. Making him sit down on his own property like a dog is enough cause to not answer any/all of their questions. There is absolutely no law that states that we the public have to be polite or even respectful to them … ever!
Why do they always assume that you are a lawyer if you know you’re right
You do NOT legally have to sit. And if they detain you, by law they must tell you why.
One thing is for sure if a cop tells you to sit down don’t sit down, challenge that fools insecurity about his need for power and control.
The “we will tell you in a minute ” cops are the biggest danger to the public out of the bunch.
To each their own, but I’ll never open my door without a warrant. In life, best to avoid a risky situation entirely rather than deal w/ it & risk it go bad. Evaluate actions before taking them, ask yourself what you could possibly gain, or what you could lose. Best of luck.
During a criminal investigation, you have certain basic rights. There are also best practices that law enforcement officers should follow to ensure that they don’t violate the rights of an individual suspected of a crime. Unfortunately, current best practices for law enforcement officers often include intentionally lying to or misleading the subject of an investigation in order to access information and evidence. Police can lie directly to someone whom they suspect of a crime, as well as other people with secondary or tertiary connection to the crime. The better you understand your rights, the better you can determine if ” police violated those rights ” during an investigation or an arrest.
WHY DO POLICE LIE DURING INVESTIGATION ? Police lie for a number of reasons. The first and most obvious is to create a sense of urgency in a suspect that can promote honesty when they might otherwise withhold information. Beyond that, police officers may say certain things to a suspect in order to build rapport, which means they want the suspects to trust them. Lying about what the officer believes happened or what kind of evidence the police have is a common tactic to undermine someone’s story or get them to comply with the wishes of the police. Although it is against the law for people to give false statements to the police, the same is not true for law enforcement. They can and do lie to both suspects and others during criminal investigations without any sort of consequence. “
HOW POLICE LIES AFFECT THOSE ACCUSSED OF CRIMES ” By misrepresenting a situation, police can make people feel like they don’t have any choice but to cooperate with law enforcement. For example, if an officer tells someone that a confidential informant places them at the scene of a crime for which the suspect has no alibi, that individual may decide to confess in the hope of securing a plea bargain that will reduce the penalties they face. Research has repeatedly demonstrated that “
POLICE DISHONESTYHAS NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ” for innocent individuals suspected of a crime and may push them into confessing or pleading guilty to an offense that they had nothing to do with. If you believe that police violated your rights in the way they conducted an investigation, discussing those concerns with an attorney can help you better determine what options you have available. IMHO Nothing worse than a bad officer to tarnish all the GOOD ONE’S
When they ask me if i’m in the academy or where i went to law school at, i always tell them that “ignorance of the law is no excuse. I thought everyone knew that.”
Again this guy who tells him to shut up needs to be fired because he is CLEARLY abusing his authority and is showing ALL the RED FLAGS that would be required to show he is going to be aggressively abusing people under colour of law. How the fuck did he ever pass the psych eval? Seriously? Do they not bother to screen these assholes based on clear behavioural patterns that demonstrate a tendency to abuse their authority or bully those that are weaker than them?
lol the second he pulls out his camera and they are held acountable. They scatter like cochroaches.
It seemed like each Officer was trying to see who could be the least professional. Just a terrible look for the Homestead Police. No doubt they got back to their station and congratulated each other for teaching the homeowner a lesson, even though the homeowner was the only person under control in the video
The same cop that actually said “I’m gonna put you in the back of my car…I dont know where you think you at” and “I already raised my voice” is telling HIM to calm down. Hilarious. Something seriously needs done about this entire situation.
Unfortunately for us, when detained they don’t have to articulate the reason for detention to us. They only have to be able to articulate it in court. Of course this is why videoing interactions is important so they can’t change a story from the interaction.

How To Stop Being A Scapegoat and Stop Being Scapegoated

Are you the scapegoat in your social group? Were you considered the problem child growing up? Are you constantly blamed for family problems? Blame and Shame are the primary aspects of scapegoating. In this episode, Teal Swan explains that what most people don’t see is how the scapegoat perpetuates the blame in order to stay safe in social situations.

Are you being gaslighted at work?

 

Gaslighting at work? Too many times to count. People have stolen credit for my work and one even bragged to me about winning an award. For the work I did. Infuriating. Best to leave, I help people make their exit plan and find a new opportunity. Would love more videos like this Dr. Ramani, excellent work.

 

I went through hoop after hoop for what they promised.after I did everything they asked and more because they piled on the demands,they filled my position and said that I “did not fit the big picture” of who they were looking for.i wasted so much time and money on this job.they fired me and I am glad.i have a new job in a healthy environment.blessings and love to all of you

 

 

6 things narcissist enablers say to you

 

Narcissists exist in systems, supported by enablers.

 

The narcissist had a tough backstory (which excuses their behavior)

 

They didn’t mean it.  (How did the narcissist enablers know this) gaslighting

 

I didn’t have any problem with them.  (Dismissive Invalidation)

(They had a different relationship with them.  They are narcissistic themselves or good supply)

 

It will get better.  Just be patient.  (This is cruel because narcissists rarely change and the narcissist faces no consequences.)

 

It’s not that bad. (minimization, invalidation, gaslighting)

 

Stop complaining.  They work really hard.

(They’re a good provider)

 

“There are two sides to every story.” Not when it comes to abuse.

 

“just think how much stronger that made you”, which is BS. The abuse didn’t make me strong. It made me insecure, it made feel worthless, it made me devalue myself.
“Look at the bright side!” “Quit being negative!” I know now that these enablers were narcissists themselves, criticizing and constantly attacking me for “complaining” and being “negative” about the abuse. These were my parents who got angry, then pushed me to feel guilty and ashamed for speaking up about the abuse from my partner until I stopped. As I was leaving him, he panicked and held me for there for nine days until a friend noticed I was gone and called police. He did monstrous things. My own parents (still his enablers) didn’t want me to cooperate with the trial. They used words like, “Show gratitude that you survived”, “Don’t call attendance to yourself” “Move on” “Stop Dwelling” “Pull your bootstraps up”. I testified at trial. He’s still in prison. My parents have had me on silent treatment for this since 2009, my father passed in 2016 and they convinced other family to be flying monkeys. They didn’t even like this man, they just expected me to be perfect and pretend to have a perfect life and relationship.

 

“Let bygones be bygones.”
“You are misinterpreting the situation.”
“That’s not what they said to me.”
“You are over reacting again.”
Bottom line: I’m wrong; the narc was right and so is the enabler. I’m the bad guy.
You can’t control what she says to you, you can only control your reaction to it” = you must ignore everything
“Family is everything/Family first” = you must continually forgive and forget all the comments/inappropriate actions that a family member says, including denying what’s happening within our family and outside of it
“You aren’t an angel either.” Especially when highlighting reaction to abuse. When you were a child.
“Be the bigger person”. Translation: Shrink yourself to fit the narcissist’s agenda.
“Don’t put me in the middle of it.” When I tried to relate to them about the abuse happening right in front of their eyes. “That’s just how he is.”
My father (enabler) about my mother: “she just wants the best for you, it’s too much love that makes her do that (mean comments, controlling behavior, silent treatment). One day you will understand when you have your own children”. My oldest is 16 and I’m still wondering when I will understand her behavior. Thank you Dr Ramani for making things make sense for the first time in my life!

What is “baiting”? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

 

  • One of the last things I told my Narc before we separated was, “the reason you are so cruel and mean to me is because when you look at me I am EVERYTHING you are not.”

 

  • Dr.often brings me to tears I feel like she is the only person who truly gets it. I’m gobsmacked by the accuracy of her descriptions.
  • I love how once you show you are fighting against baiting, narcissists will start trying anything to get a rise out of you.
  • My sympathies to any human being on this earth that has had or is having to deal with one of these insecure monsters. Learn everything there is to know about this personality disorder because if you don’t you will be destroyed. Learn to seek out your weaknesses and grow from them. Do your best to stay in a positive emotion no matter how much negative dark energy they throw at you.
  • One thing that a narcissist tell you when you’re beginning to analyze the situation is that ” you’re paranoid” or ” you’re crazy”
  • Her final act of baiting was close to the end of a 7 year relationship and was with her at the wheel of an automobile with me as a passenger on a busy Interstate freeway. I had already been Grey Rocking and not taking the bait and she was in need of a hit of supply. Her driving quickly became aggressive and dangerous. It scared the crap out of me and I knew she was trying to get me to react. As tough as it was I just kept my mouth shut knowing there was really no right or wrong choice I could make in this situation. After this wild ride I never put myself in such a dangerous situation with her again and left the relationship soon afterwards.
  • I caught that smirk on my parent narc many many years ago. It was almost like my narc was having an inner conversation congratulating herself for getting me upset. It was so blatant I just starred at her in disbelief and disgust. She came out of her self-congratulatory trance and saw the look on my face and suddenly went off on a tangent screaming that I thought I was better than her and how horrible I was. Truth is she was right, in that moment I realized how sick she was, and that none of it was my fault. That’s the first time I realized the sick game she was playing and that I needed to get out. Years later I stumbled upon stories of people with toxic narcissism and Dr. Ramani and finally connected the dots. What a relief to know I’m not alone and not a crazy loser!
  • “Once they’ve stepped away, once they’ve disappeared, the moment you’re alone, cry and yell it out. Just don’t let them see it. Don’t give them that satisfaction.” What Dr. Ramani said right there is so important. Took me almost 50 years to realize that the only time I saw my malignant family member narcissist thrown off guard and unsure of herself was when I appeared unfazed in the face of her narcissism. It is an empowering feelimg. She was able to control the narrative when I would get angry, or sad, or become frustrated, or desperate, or if I tried to get through to her. And narcissists definitely get pleasure and satisfaction out of that. But the first time my response was calm and I let everything roll off my back unbothered, I saw her lose her composure. It was amazing to see a pro in manipulation become almost flustered. When you do this the first time, it may be the most empowering feeling you’ll ever have. And it’s ok if you are caught off guard again because you will already know what to do. And you will get better and more comfortable at it. And like Dr. Ramani said, if you need to yell or cry and get it off your chest, because they probably will try to do something spiteful or trifling, just never let them see it affect you and it doesn’t matter how old you are. You can do it!
  • It helped to record the narc’s episodes and listen to them when getting soft and sucked back in the vicious cycle. The narc’s new friends (future victims) that didn’t believe me because they had not experience the sociopathic episodes yet, were shocked. Yes that smooth charming, well spoken person, can be the most emotionally and mentally abusive individual if you don’t let her be in full control.
  • Thank you! I just resigned from a committee because of this exact thing. One of the members was baiting and triangulating and as soon as I recognized what was going on, I understood that this was going to be the status quo and I walked. The bizarre thing was that it was all volunteer work and there was zero status to be gained. The power play accomplished nothing but making it impossible to do the work. It’s hard because you want to tell people they’re being played, but you know they won’t believe you. But I can protect me and refuse to participate.
  • I know this video is a year old, but listening to it I’m hearing his voice again all over again. Word-for-word you nailed it. Now nearly two years after I left the relationship, it still hurts to hear those same words. He took it all the way, and when I didn’t respond, he then ramped it up, flinging ridiculous accusations at me, causing me to refute his claims when he struck that nerve. That was his touchdown moment. Sometimes I feel no closer to healing than I did in the weeks that followed my exodus. Yet I have to remind myself, look how far I’ve come in moving on! Look what I did in 2 years, things I dared not do before! It’s a struggle, the gift that keeps on giving. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for getting me to this point! 💜
  • Following an argument with my narcissistic husband I was once ordered to visit a behavioural therapist on the grounds I was deranged, that I that had a ‘darkness’ in me and that I needed help.. I only went along with it to shut him up and get away for a while. I already knew I wasn’t the crazy one in the marriage. Anyway, following my description of him on an average day, the therapist asked me to invite him along for the next session lol. When I told my husband that the therapist would love to see him the following week and that there was nothing for him to be scared of, the sessions were cancelled and the subject of me being crazy / possessed was dropped 😂 (well, until his next meltdown happened).
  • When dealing with narcs, I find it useful to turn the tables. Instead of getting defensive, I remind them that they are bothered by an issue within themselves, not with me. They should fix that issue. Perhaps therapy? Watch them go nuts! Be calm. Tell them to calm down. Be woke and leave the conversation as soon as they attack you. You are not the problem-do not be the victim, either. Bullies like a victim- do not be one. Do NOT get defensive. My sister and mother love to start a big fight, then when I got riled up, I could watch them smiling. I would shut down to avoid this. I learned to approach them like crazy people and calmly smile, shake my head and ask them what drama they endured today. Again, they went nuts because they feed on chaos. It takes practice and training, but you can live with them if you have to. Don’t engage in defense.

 

  • My children’s father was a master at this. I became the crazy one who overreacted to his sick manipulative actions. Then he became the perfect parent who “never badmouthed” me and l the unreliable one. Frequently, such as having the children ask me if they could go skiing on the weekend they are to be with me then holding back child support so we were not able to financially do such activities. And of course l took the bait for soo long. It was actually his parents who came to my support. May they rest in peace. It’s taken me 45 years to just now understand this, thank you 🙏🏾

 

  • When I was with a narcissist woman I kept a journal and documented what was going on and detailing things. I did it to reassure myself that I wasn’t going nuts or imagining things. When I finally went to a therapist my journal was very valuable in helping me leave the relationships and recover more quickly. I highly recommended keeping a journal for all of you that are in a toxic relationship.
  • I literally burst into tears when I heard this. You nailed it to the “t.”

 

  • This reminds me of my mother, especially the part where she accused me of things I didn’t do. When I moved far away, she tried to bait me, mostly by going after my boyfriend (making wild accusations about him), I kept ignoring her. When I was younger her baiting would work on me, and then she would gaslight. “Look at you! You’re always so angry!”, then she would go into full denial mood when I pointed out how she had just been acting. She would suddenly be all calm and claim, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not doing anything, you are. I’m just standing here.”