Laura Kristan Wilhelm, Self-employed at LauraWil Intercultural (2009-present)
I think INTJs can be a little intimidating as teenagers since they tend to do very well in school and not care much about clothes, parties, or popularity the way most teens do. They are usually well behaved and mature but are not easy for authority figures to control with either positive or negative reinforcement. And if INTJ teens think something is wrong, they will risk quite a lot to bring it to light. This sort of whistleblowing might bring them into the limelight and get them a student council spot, but normally they prefer to keep to themselves or hang with other INTJs from their accelerated classes.
INTJ teens usually have very serious outside interests like music. They may be performing at concerts and working with a language tutor to learn German lieder while their peers are pouring beer all over each other at pool parties. Probably they want to go to a top-tier university or music school like Harvard or Juilliard.
Physically INTJ teens may be a little neglectful of their appearance and prefer to dress in their own duds rather than a school uniform. They may have to be forced out of hiding behind a book or computer so they can get some fresh air, exercise, and proper food. But they can usually be reasoned with much better than most people their age.
INTJ teens might be quite sheltered if their parents allow their introverted tendencies free reign. They may have read and heard quite a lot about sex, but are smart enough to understand the consequences and are usually cautious about dating. They may wait until college or even later to start forming romantic attachments and may prefer their teachers and professors to people their own age.
INTJ teens are often epic babysitters who have more availability than more gregarious peers. Children start calming down around them and wanting to do things with them immediately. INTJs don’t court children the way extroverts would, but their quietness often makes little people very curious. They usually have cool books, comics, and toys that the kids like better than the usual ones.
What would be an INTJ’s three wishes?
This is an actual fun one for, and I can attest to the value they carry once achieved.
1.) the ability to delegate all of the day to day shit.. getting gas, groceries, paying bills, calling customer service, taking out the trash and doing the laundry. Basically removing possible last minute headaches for an intj.. hiccups in schedule are a constant stressor. So either a partner, or financial means to have that sensory, day to day bullshit handled
2-) Peace. This one is hard earned and comes with the ability to embrace our selfishness and our “inner intj”. Most stress for an INTJ comes from drama and external bullshit interrupting our days. A passive INTJ might appease people and allow toxic personalities into their lives. A healthy INTJ will tell those people to eat shit and door slam them. Eliminating drama brings peace.
3-) This is unique to each intj. Mine was a meaningful, self employed, decent paying career in the fitness/nutrition industry. I was able to achieve that and now I never feel like I’m actually working.
The theme is peace
We want peace
How do INTJs flirt?
The most common points from my experiences:
- By gathering knowledge (Real world observations & Google)
- Deciding to go for it or not (Are all the criteria boxes are checked?)
In their natural habitat, INTJs are straightforward and open. They don’t want to play “social contract” at all. So once all the criteria boxes are checked, an ideal “flirt” dialogue for an INTJ would be:
“Hey, I am interested in you because of my X, Y, and Z observations about you. Thus, I think we may give it a go… Shall we?”
And that’s it. (Short version of the answer ends here)
Additionally (Longer answer):
- When they play the social contract game, they will give subtle hints of their intentions. But their main aim is to make you the one who comes, the one who’s interested first. They will create unsure, “Could be?” moments just to see how you react. So that the INTJ can calculate the outcome more precisely.
- Happy/Excited/panicked? Then the odds are on the INTJ’s side to gear up; kind of disturbed/distant/cold? The INTJ steps back.
- They will observe you, your dialogues with others, how you act and talk, and try to categorize you inside their heads to have a shortcut on their calculated outcomes of possible move, and they also calculate the possible ending (seriously).
- The moment they have your name, if possible, they will google it, and learn from whatever result is relevant.
- “So you liked that band in 2015, and posted about it? Hmm, I actually liked that band too. Nice…ish.”
- “She has very few selfies, that’s always a good sign.”
- “Damn, secret profile… Brick wall here. Which is nice that she made it secret. Why would you make your private life public? To put on a fake show? That’s stupid.”
- “Linkedin page shows that she has a degree in X, hmm that must be challenging.”
- “Ah come on! Why would you give that pose with Pisa Tower…”
- “She can write nice articles, and express her thoughts on complex concepts. Hmm!”
- And when you see them again later, they act like they have no idea, but they ask questions about those, and see how much of that information you tell them.
- Notice that, even at this point the INTJ may not have done any moves you can easily categorize as “flirting”, you may be going paranoid at this stage if you’re also interested. Which is good for the INTJ, because odds are quite there, but your defenses are getting weaker, which means you’ll make the first move. Which is the safer option for the INTJ… or you will simply give up and give the INTJ a “wtf” moment.
- If INTJs are only physically attracted, in that case they may assume any role that they see fit. It’s then more difficult to describe. Depends on the specific person’s ability to socialize, and past experiences. ie: An experienced one can assume the predator mode.
- If the important criterias aren’t met, INTJs will quickly lose interest, and this time you will be the one who’ll have a “wtf” moment.
Seriously, if you’re flirting with an INTJ, he’s (I know no female INTJs in person, so I’ll refer as “he”) probably googled your name (as he does with everything else), and learnt a lot about you if your online identity isn’t anonymous.
What would be an INTJ’s three wishes?
This is an actual fun one for, and I can attest to the value they carry once achieved.
1.) the ability to delegate all of the day to day shit.. getting gas, groceries, paying bills, calling customer service, taking out the trash and doing the laundry. Basically removing possible last minute headaches for an intj.. hiccups in schedule are a constant stressor. So either a partner, or financial means to have that sensory, day to day bullshit handled
2-) Peace. This one is hard earned and comes with the ability to embrace our selfishness and our “inner intj”. Most stress for an INTJ comes from drama and external bullshit interrupting our days. A passive INTJ might appease people and allow toxic personalities into their lives. A healthy INTJ will tell those people to eat shit and door slam them. Eliminating drama brings peace.
3-) This is unique to each intj. Mine was a meaningful, self employed, decent paying career in the fitness/nutrition industry. I was able to achieve that and now I never feel like I’m actually working.
The theme is peace
We want peace
Kevin MmHI, firstly I appreciate all the INTJ information and insight on the subject. I have taken the Briggs 8 times, 8 times the facilitator had to erase the outside boundry of INTJ to accomodate my score
I am now extremely proud of being able to raise my opinion on topic, and instantly piss all parties off enough that they retreat to their holes to lick their wounds. The light was shone and their BS is transparent. Though this is a gift, my socialization skills are a shit show of epic proportion. I am over 50 and having to search for a new partner, a task akin to putting a man on the sun.
Again thank you for support
———————————————————————————Priyom HaiderWe just don’t want someone comin up and disturbing us from the heavens that exist “inside our head”.
———————————————————————————Whitney MichelleAmen to #1. All three of them, really. (I interpreted 3 as finding a career you love). But I would do all of the day-to-day tasks in my relationship, for my INTJ partner. It’s not that I realized I was doing it for him intentionally, but that he would just NEVER get to it unless I did it. I kind of hated that, though. I believe it’s only fair if there is give-and-take in some regard. If the workload balances out. Like if he paid me for doing those things in massages.
———————————————————————————Nitefise· July 6
Same here. I hate that I always feel the need to get things done NOW. But good thing is i dont pay any bills or living expenses at all eventho i work full time. So thats how he pays me back.
He’s much better now too, doing some of the chores around the house. Cos one time I left and broke up with him cos I couldnt put up with his laziness and taking me for granted. So he begged me to come back and changed.
———————————————————————————Bonifasius NayakaBut i think we have to make sure that the one that can be our delegates are matched our expectation. INTJ’s are very independent due to the fact that our ridiculously high idealism and expectation. So delegating several tasks might get us more headache sometimes.
———————————————————————————Rose McDermettYep. We want peace. Absolutely.
———————————————————————————Spencer SternPeace and quiet. Indeed.
———————————————————————————Batman Batmanas an INTJ, I want evolution, in every way it’s possible, and I’ll try to make it real (peace or blood, it should happen)
———————————————————————————Anna MariaEve Vette, Certified MBTI Facilitator, Practitioner & Coach3 wishes:
- An “invisibility cloak”.
- The ability to mute others.
- Another 3 wishes.
As opposed to 3 needs:
- Meaningful career.
- Meaningful relationships.
- Meaningful ways to make this world a better place.
———————————————————————————AnonymousOk, let me explain it for you in the easiest way possible.
I’m an intj male,
what makes me dangerous: Actually intj persons are masterminds, meaning they always are creating something, in their imagination or in the real world. This is the most important factor for the living of an intj, meaning he/she needs to invest their energy and talent and curiosity in something that they like, now, if there won’t be any room for improvement then simply it can be said: I give up life ok? BUT it won’t finish that easy way, some times they change it to another thing instead of suicide or something like that(referring to Ted_Kaczynski or Anders Breivik and many more) Intjs need space to improve, if they have it then it’s ok but if not so they maybe think of suicide or starting to be dangerous, I myself have thought about that several times, what type of person I intended to be or start being exactly opposite! meaning start doing something like those mentioned did. Almost every intj personality has 2 faces, one is being somebody that helps their world to be easier and more effective for every individual or just start doing the opposite side! In both routines do schedule for almost EVERYTHING they’re willing to do, no matter being Nicolas Tesla or Ted Kaczynsky being beneficial or harmful Intjs always live in a world of contradictions, actually if their tendency to be useful be ignored then most precisely they will start being extremely dangerous(This statement doesn’t apply to all intj individuals)
———————————————————————————Angie Cibis, Independent Graphic Designer (2000-present)Threaten the safety or wellbeing of someone I care about. That’s when I, as an INTJ, could become dangerous. In theory.