INFJs naturally win over INTJs without really trying usually. They both sense depth and uncommon intelligence in each other and yet, when having discussions or sharing ideas, they have differing ways of arriving at usually the same opinion. When opinions differ, they each present sound logic for their conclusions. This is enormously refreshing to the INTJ.
Maybe the better question is, what would an INTJ not like about an INFJ? Based on being an INTJ female with a boyfriend, sister and very good friend all being INFJs, I can tell you the only thing that has ever bugged me is when they get into thought loops that take forever to break out of. It’s usually around a decision that will alter their general routine, like changing jobs or an important aspect of their current job. I look at things as “do what’s in your long term best interest” but an INFJ takes into account the impact to other people just as much if not more than their own interest. But I have also learned to respect their taking their time on such things because they usually make an even better decision than I would have. I just lack the patience for all the ruminating again and again over the same details.
I do appreciate the INFJs perspective on most things so I think the best advice is to be yourself! There’s probably nothing not to like about you and if you have to work at winning someone (of any type) over, then it’s probably not worth it or the lack of connection has everything to do with them and very little to do with you.
How would an INFJ and INTJ interact?
Typically respectfully, as they’re mostly on the same wavelength. An INTJ is basically part-INFJ, except that part is always hidden deep inside, and they know their INFJ counterparts are like an extrapolated part of themselves they recognize very well, albeit we tend to feel more big-brotherly towards them because being a “feeler” is indeed painful, especially when you can’t defer to logic over it at times (a luxury we INTJ have as a natural cope). INTJ and INFJ are both rare types and share the same sense of being different and often left behind by the world, or just in our own world most of the time.
When these two types are friends they can be very helpful to each other. INTJ will advise INFJ how to deal with something practically and INFJ will remind INTJ of the more nurturing and loving aspects of their nature which is refreshing to them, especially when it comes from someone with similar experience of the world as an information-organizing intuitive. They’re the Yin and Yang of the N type but do not usually clash dramatically at all. If there are any problems, they typically resolve them with space and/or talk. If they decide not to associate they will already know the reasons why and will simply go their own ways without the need for drama.
I have a pair of friends- INTJ husband and INFJ wife- who happen to be the single best couple I have ever seen. Both are off-the-charts brilliant: the INTJ skipped three grades and received a PhD in Philosophy from a prestigious university by the age of 23, while the INFJ is a world-class neurosurgeon.
As a pair, both as partners as well as parents- they are the best pairing I have ever seen.
6 INFJ Perfect Companions – The Rarest Personality Type
6 INFJ Perfect Companions | Ahh.. INFJ romance..Being the rarest personality type and often the most misunderstood of the 16 personality types, the seemingly lonely INFJ has better chances at catching a date than most people would think. In fact, the highly personable INFJ traits make them the perfect INFJ companion for many types, but what personality types are considered truly INFJ compatible?
Well, when it comes to INFJ relationships, thanks to the romantic INFJ communication skills, they’re able to easily connect with both introverted and extroverts. So, INFJ compatibility has more to do with heart and kindness than it does character, making the possibility of an INFJ couple possible with many different types when it comes to INFJ dating. The perfect INFJ partner must respect the INFJ open mind and try to understand their deep emotional needs and wants.. a strength these 6 INFJ perfect companions show very well. So, which INFJ compatible types make the best INFJ girlfriend or INFJ boyfriend?
What are the key/main differences between an INFJ and an INTJ? Concrete ones
(Bear in mind that my answer is based partially on theory and partially on experience so it may not look 100% like other answers as it also includes my personal experiences.)
INFJs are people-oriented. Yes, they are introverts and yes, many of them are extremely shy, but one thing that sets INFJs apart from INTJs is their need for social harmony. This comes from their auxiliary function, Fe (extroverted feeling), meaning that they tend to value the feelings of others and are often very socially astute. They know what is acceptable in a social situation without needing to think about it and naturally prioritise the needs of the group as a whole.
In contrast, INTJs’ auxiliary function is Te (extroverted thinking). This means that they judge how to respond to a situation via logical deduction. INTJs value efficiency and often get the reputation of being ‘cold’ as they do not mind sacrificing someone’s feelings to get the job done, and done well. One misconception is that INTJs are inapt when it comes to socialising. For me, I am highly introverted and need time completely alone without strong external distractions to re-charge. However, I can be pleasant and indeed talkative among others. The only issues for me are that I quickly drain energy whilst socialising and end up feeling unhappy, and that I have to consciously think about what I am saying and how it could affect the others in the group- this ability just doesn’t come naturally to me.
INFJs tend to idealise. They want to see people as good, however this can lead to disappointment or sadness when they start to see the numerous negative qualities of their fellows.
On the other hand, INTJs tend to be cynics. They see people in a much harsher light and are more ready to believe in their flaws than their INFJ counterparts.
Finally, INFJs are usually more open than INTJs. They do not mind talking about their feelings and seek to appease those around them. They can even feel guilt for focussing on their own emotions if they are around people who suppress theirs, and feel a need to reach out to these people and talk to them (whether that need is acted on or, more likely, not).
INTJs are masters at bottling up their emotions. They don’t want to talk about them and don’t want to think about them. If an INTJ is going through a hard time, they will likely keep this information to themselves. (INFJs tend to do this also, but more for the fact that they do not want to burden others with their problems, rather than they feel inable to do so.) This can lead to those close to the INTJ being worried about their increasing quietness, or alternatively their loud outbursts, whilst feeling helpless to do anything about it.
Please note that I have only talked about the more observable, ‘concrete’ differences between INFJs and INTJs to answer the question more appropriately and to avoid confusion. There are also many other differences between the two types, but I didn’t want my answer to go on any longer than it already is haha.
Thanks for taking the time to read this all, if you got this far, and I hope this helped!
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