INTJ are very strategic and enjoy time alone so if they are spending a fair amount of time with you (a day or two a week) and they discuss anything personal with you than you have earned their trust and they value your company enough to say you are getting close or are close.
We are very happy to be by ourselves so if i let someone in my personal space (my home) and they can just chill and i don’t need to entertain them or even talk much then they are rare.
I love when a person can just be at my place but not bother me or talk to much or expect anything from me. That’s the kind of person I’ll tell they can come over whenever.
Who is smarter, an INTJ or an INFJ, and why?
A team with one of each is almost unbeatable, except
- if they’re not careful they’ll have an argument where the INFJ will propose some golden shining thing of perfect morality and the INTJ will go, “Pfft, yeah, like you’ll ever convince humans to go along with that,” and they’ll wind up not speaking to each other
- or they’ll avoid that pitfall and instead talk until they die of starvation and sleep deprivation or until some S person takes pity on them and makes them eat and sleep
Why are INTJs so misunderstood?
My fiancee is an INTJ and i am INFJ. So i will speak for my self as a person engages to an INTJ. INTJs are frequently misunderstood because they lack the ability to express their emotion openly. Not all people have encountered MBTI, so they don’t know that INTJs’ lack of emotional expression doesn’t mean they don’t have emotions. We, human beings in general are visual-driven creatures, thus, “what we see is what we get”. However, there are people who have the ability to see-through right into the INTJs core — INFJs (again, I’m speaking for myself). Unfortunately, INFJs are rare, rarer than INTJs. So the probability of finding the people that understands INTJs is so slim. INTJs will always be misunderstood because majority of the people doesn’t have the capability to debunk them. But once somebody get through their layers of shells — it’s like winning a lottery! Because they are like a treasure deeply hidden under the ground. For those people who misunderstood INTJs – let them be! Continue to be who YOU are. 💋
How can an INFJ and an INTJ communicate better during a conflict?
Simple.
The INTJ should use active listening skills to make the INFJ feel heard and validated, and consciously resist the urge to dismiss things they disagree with – their goal in the interaction to achieve empathy and understand the position of the INFJ in order to negotiate an optimal outcome which benefits them both. INTJ should take care to avoid phrases which could be interpreted as direct criticisms or judgement of the INFJ.
The INFJ should resist the urge to become defensive, and hear the words the INTJ is using without reading into it for hidden emotion or motivations. The calmer and less visibly emotional the INFJ can be, the better. Use clear examples, don’t generalise, stick to one issue per conversation (if it’s emotional) and come to the conversation with satisfactory positive outcomes predetermined. The correct emotions the INTJ is feeling will be clear from their word choice, they’re direct even though they’re reserved. The INTJ wants to avoid awkward emotional displays and maximise utility of their time.
Both types are very rational and goal-focused, capable people who like calm. INFJ needs to ask directly for what they want, don’t hint, and be prepared to explain their reasoning. INTJ needs to prioritise the INFJ, allow them time, and give their full attention for that conversation. Both types will likely compromise and both are very honest sorts of people.