Hello,

as an enfp and long time partner of my intj I thought I would answer this. It’s hard to take distance with your relationship so I will take the angle of “what differs from others”.

The relationship is very deep. I know couples around me who almost never have deep conversations. We almost only have deep and metaphysical conversations.

We have a lot of fun being childish. Very few people see this, but with me he is very funny and cute, almost like a kid. Together we are truly children, having fun and exploring. This was absolutely unexpected and other people could never guess this side of him.

I can count on him (and he on me, of course). I hear stories of partners who don’t show up, who don’t do what they said they would. This never happens. He is very reliable. This matters to me a lot and even though it is not intended that way I find it romantic.

He needs his cave. In many different ways. He needs time. He needs space. He needs his space. I need to do the same to bring balance, and be free and independent as well. Otherwise there could be resentment.

I need to be driving the notion of surprise and novelty in our long term relationship. Basically I sometimes have to have a conversation where I remind the benefits of keeping the mystery alive, be romantic and really, do something else than his work or his serious hobbies. Usually he agrees and at least tries what I suggest. I never expect it to come from him and I am never disappointed. I know for some people it could be harder. I feel his love for me in a different way that’s all. I also like that he is just keen on doing things with me.

Overall I am with a smart and kind man who lives up to his own expectations and it means a lot to me. Understanding and respect are key to happiness because he is a bit “different “ than what our society has showed us was a “typical behaviour “. I personally love this difference even when and if it drives me crazy 😉