Parents often use phrases like ‘Good job!’ and ‘Say thank you’ when they talk to their children. But what do those phrases really mean?
The problem is that at its core, this way of speaking is all about control. We use it to tell our kids what we want them to say (“Say sorry!”); how we want them to feel (“You’re OK!”); what we want them to do (“Behave yourself!”); and what will happen if they don’t (“Do you want a timeout?”).
In other words, parentspeak is about compliance—and that often keeps us from understanding the feelings, motivations, thoughts and behavior of our children. Rather than teaching them to communicate and problem solve, we are essentially teaching them to obey.
Why Is the Government Telling Us How to Raise Our Kids?
Why Is the Government Telling Us How to Raise Our Kids?
The government is telling women what to do with their bodies in the form of pressure to breast-feed, while government departments like the Department of Agriculture and regulatory agencies like the Consumer Product Safety Commission are making life less tasty by restricting the diets of American schoolchildren and less fun by banning games and toys. As attorney Scott Greenfield noted on his blog after a New Jersey mother was arrested for leaving her toddler in the car unattended for no more than 10 minutes:
.. The government is telling women what to do with their bodies in the form of pressure to breast-feed, while government departments like the Department of Agriculture and regulatory agencies like the Consumer Product Safety Commission are making life less tasty by restricting the diets of American schoolchildren and less fun by banning games and toys. As attorney Scott Greenfield noted on his blog after a New Jersey mother was arrested for leaving her toddler in the car unattended for no more than 10 minutes:
.. current safety standards are based on the possibility of harm rather than evidence of such. I eventually got permission from my doctor to have my baby swaddled, but it took a lot of effort and I wondered whether I was alone in thinking that the government had no business deciding for me and the day-care operator what was the best way to care for my kid. I also set out to discover if the experience I had was mirrored elsewhere, and if other parents had suffered from nanny-state parenting.
.. The same “what if” or “worst first” thinking — as Lenore Skenazy, the founder of the Free Range Kids movement has been applied in too many other areas of life. Sledding is banned on public hills in various cities because someone might get hurt and the municipality might get sued.
.. Some school principals have banned home-packed lunches entirely because they believe menus determined by the geniuses at the USDA are more nutritious than what parents will decide to pack themselves.
.. parents in Florida are having a very hard time getting their kids’ schools to do the healthy and inexpensive thing by allowing kids to run around during recess.
Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/443277/parenting-school-government-interference-unwelcome
The Perpetual Panic of American Parenthood
Paris — I spend a lot of time listening to parents around the world complain. In Kiev recently, a working mother told me the joke about how Ukrainians are raised by same-sex couples: their mothers and grandmothers.
How hard or easy it is to raise kids, especially while working, is a big part of people’s well-being everywhere. This topic rarely gets much traction in American politics, but it’s become an issue in this election. Even Donald J. Trump, when he isn’t boasting that he can grab women by their genitals, claims he wants them to have a better work-life balance.
.. Ukrainian dads may not change enough diapers, but their government offers paid maternity leave; practically free preschool; and per-baby payments equivalent to eight months of an average salary.
.. While Nordic citizens often don’t realize how good they have it, Americans seem not to realize how terribly they are being treated,”
.. Ms. Partanen points out that many Europeans pay only slightly higher income taxes than Americans do, while Swedes and Britons pay less, and all get far more in return.
.. Mr. Trump (who once boasted that he never changed a diaper, which could explain why he married two Eastern Europeans) said a year ago that he was skeptical of paid family leave and opposed universal pre-K.
.. I’ve already mailed in my ballot. It’s a vote to make America great, by making it a bit more like the rest of the world.
Harvard psychologists have been studying what it takes to raise ‘good’ kids. Here are 6 tips.
Spend regular time with your kids, ask them open-ended questions about themselves, about the world and how they see it, and actively listen to their responses. Not only will you learn all sorts of things that make your child unique, you’ll also be demonstrating to them how to show care and concern for another person.