Why is my narcissist bugging and demanding to marry me if he was on the process of dumping me?

It’s easy to beat up, knock out, and concuss narcissists with WORDS.

Narcissists are clowns, who live lives full of failure. They are really pig headed, and don’t know when they’re beat.

Listen closely to their victim story.

Let’s say the narcissist in question has been badly beaten up in the past, because he did something dumb — he played games with the wrong person. Due to his insufferable arrogance he got beat up, knocked out, concussed in an utterly humiliating fashion.

You don’t use the trigger words at them, you use them on yourself, or talking about other people. The words carry the weight of the blow — they can’t bear to hear them.

So what you say is:

“This year has really knocked me around. I’m just feeling so bruised from work, you know? The new boss is really hammering me, it’s just making my head spin. I’d love to get married but I’m just feeling so pummelled by everything right now”.

You don’t have to make it quite so dense as that, but just keep hammering them with trigger words that make them get that sore look in their piggy little eyes. Trigger their shame by referring to yourself or others and using trigger words.

Pow, right in the victim story,

Robert

 

 

Keeping you hooked in is part of the game. You cannot reject them! They are the only ones who can determine when and how a relationship exists. Understand it’s a game! It’s not about loving, caring and a dozen red roses. It’s about control!

I believe he is bugging you to marry him simply to manipulate your emotions and see how much control he has over you. It could also be that he wants to keep you hanging on until he secures a new source of supply.

Oh my gosh. “Demanding to marry” him? Wow. How romantic. Lol. Sorry. He probably just wants control. For some reason, in his mind, marriage is going to benefit him. Maybe you have resources. Maybe he thinks you make an impressive looking couple. Maybe he suddenly feels like being married will fit his image. Maybe he has a green card that’s about to expire. Maybe he thinks you’ll be easier to control. Who knows. But I would say a good rule of thumb is not to marry someone who’s demanding to get married. Oh… and as for him being in the process of dumping you… that was then. This is now. They live in the present. Yesterday never happened. But don’t worry, he could go right back to “dumping” you in an instant.

Fear of loneliness. Maybe u can provide something he needs? Push and pull is a tactic to get you emotional hooked to him . Can go so far that u become addiction to the push and pull . The emotional roller-coaster. Hormone rush .

This is a great question and a question that people often don’t fully understand. Narcissists get married because narcissists value ONE thing above all else – SECURITY! Let me explain.

Narcissistic people are, by nature, very insecure. They also tend to be pessimistic on their outlook about things. They have seen their relationships end – often in tragic ways. Because of this, and their inability to really take full responsibility for the true reasons why their prior relationships ended, they often feel like no one understands them, no one is capable of understanding them and they won’t find “happiness”. Secure people realize that happiness is not a person, place or thing. Secure people also realize that happiness doesn’t come from anything outside of yourself. Narcissists do NOT see things that way. They look for external validation and happiness. Getting married makes them feel like SOMEONE truly does want them and love them. That knowledge makes them feel secure. It is also one of the reasons that they will move quickly from person to person. If one relationship ends, they can’t be alone, so they MUST have something to fill the void.

Most narcissists fear being alone more than anything. I say most because not all narcissistic types have that core fear. Covert narcissists actually are not afraid to be alone and, if not in a relationship, are likely to remain alone or have very transitory relationships. That narcissistic type is typically a “loaner” type anyway. Most other types of narcissistic people cannot stand being alone and it equates to utter loneliness and despair for them. So here comes marriage! The narcissist gets to have someone who devotes their life to them. They get to not be alone until they want to be, they have someone to heave their negative emotional baggage on AND they get to look “normal” to the outside world! After all, if someone managed to marry them, they can’t be that bad right?

At the end of the day, narcissists are just people! They are just people who are looking to fill a void left by some trauma that has led them down a winding, harrowing road that has been hard for them to escape from. They are lonely people who don’t realize how damaged they are, but DO realize how empty they feel when they are by themselves. So many people think that narcissists only marry for show, but that is just not true. Imagine that you are thirsty and you crave water, but drinking doesn’t stop the thirst. THAT is what love and relationships are like for a narcissist. They are searching and hoping and trying to fill themselves – to make themselves whole. Yet, nothing they do makes things right for them. They are broken people. Expecting broken people to be whole and well is like expecting someone who has never gone to school to perform complex brain surgery. When you don’t understand why you even behave the way you do, it is frustrating to go down a road that ends up not making you feel complete. Narcissists, on a very deep level, are EXTREMELY lonely people and, even though they have a hard time admitting it, they feel unwanted and unloved from a very deep place inside of their souls. They have watched people leave them and walk away from them and they have left people and walked away from people and they know what it is like to FEEL utterly and completely alone – even if their loneliness is a DIRECT result of their behavior. THAT is why they marry! Hope is a VERY powerful motivating factor for people who feel hopeless deep inside.

Narcissists also sometimes marry solely for financial reasons or status. However, that is not an unusual thing. Many people, both narcissists and non narcissistic people, will marry someone who is of a higher standing financially or socially. I will add that narcissists, when they marry for this reason, can become very dangerous to deal with. In this specific situation, the narcissist almost always has an exit strategy in mind at the beginning of the marriage and, sometimes, that exit strategy includes walking away with the money the person they are marrying has and that person ending up dead. I know that sounds extreme to some people, but narcissistic people are capable of EXTREME things because they don’t have that inner filter or buffer that stops most of us from doing the uncivilized and outrageous. Even if you do not have money, but are dealing with a narcissist who is money hungry, you are still in danger. Narcissists who are money hungry think nothing of taking out insurance policies and killing their spouses. It happens more than you think, so be VERY careful and do not ignore the warning signs! Not all narcissists are that way, but the ones that are can be very diabolical.

A marriage for a narcissist will NEVER be about connecting with another person to make that person’s world a better place. It will never be about love for the sake of pure love – even though a narcissist can “care”, in their own way, about the person they marry. Marriages to narcissists will always be about the narcissist fulfilling their own needs and addressing their own issues. For the person on the receiving end, a marriage to a narcissist becomes the loneliest island in the world. It becomes a place they signed up to go to, but also a place that is ultimately completely and totally unfulfilling.

Sankin Kotai and the Hostage System

Alternate residence duty, or sankin kotai, was a system developed in the Warring States period and perfected by the Tokugawa shogunate. In essence, the system demanded simply that daimyo reside in the Tokugawa castle at Edo for periods of time, alternating with residence at the daimyo’s own castle. When a daimyo was not residing in the Tokugawa castle, he was required to leave his family at his overlord’s castle town. It was, at its simplest, a hostage system which required that either the daimyo or his family (including the very important heir) always be physically subject to the whim of the overlord.
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Retainer’s domain

The system involved burdens far beyond those of physical submission. Since the daimyo was a person of considerable status, he was expected to maintain a home within the overlord’s castle which was equal to his status. This expectation required, then, a castle and a mansion in the retainer’s domain and a mansion in Edo, each with the appropriate degree of staffing and luxury. In effect, an expensive burden was imposed on the daimyo, one which depleted his economic freedom to act. In addition, the daimyo was required to move between his home domain and Edo. Again, an appropriate degree of splendor was expected and this too cost money: horses and porters had to be rented, inns, food and entertainment had to be arranged and purchased, and an appropriate retinue of guards, servants, aides and advisors had to accompany a traveling daimyo. The total financial burden on daimyo during the Edo period is commonly reckoned at 25% of the net revenues available to the daimyo. Since display became a significant measure of status, ostentatious display in the process of sankin kotai increased the burden.

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Sankin kotai was formalized in the first decades of the Edo period so that certain hereditary retainers of the Tokugawa (the fudai daimyo) alternated in Edo every six months while most other daimyo rotated to Edo every other year. The schedule of travel along the five main highways was fixed, in part so that the burden of a daimyo’s retinue (usually 150 to 300 people), did not impose to great a strain on the transport facilities along the Nakasendo or any other highway used for travel: the exact route and duration of travel was also fixed so that travelers on the Nakasendo were much the same year after year.

17th century Highway System

17th century Highway System

The system promoted control by the Tokugawa over the entire country, moving Japan far away from the disunity of the Warring States Period to the nationalism of the 19th and 20th centuries. It also caused a more rapid emergence of a national commercial and financial system because the daimyo had to sell local products in national markets to provide the money necessary to pay expenses on the road and in Edo. Osaka and Edo became the central points of a national economy which unified the nation in economic terms even while the political system remained nominally decentralized. The system also brought together people and ideas, both on the highways as well as in Edo and other urban centers, and contributed to the emergence of Japan’s cultural unity. It was not, however, a universally loved system. When the Tokugawa shogunate began to lose power, it abolished sankin kotai in 1862. Within six months, nearly half the population of Edo left to return to their home domains. One daimyo even dismantled his residence and took it with him.

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INTJs what does introverted intuition mean to you?

My intuition has been quite strong my entire life, I just didn’t realize it, I was interpreting what I was feeling based on what older folks who wanted control were telling me about myself.

As I grew older, I became much more introverted. To be alone with my thoughts. To learn why I feel things the way I do.

Intuition is your survival instinct.

However, in a world where everyone lives to be 100, most people don’t need to heed their intuition to survive. Ever.

Your intuition is anxiety. Anxiety is good. Anxiety means you need to move away from that situation. If you let someone else decipher your anxiety, they’ll make you feel like it’s just you; NEVER give another human the opportunity to TELL you what you’re feeling. You can never come back from that — they have just assumed control of your feelings and will take advantage of that when the time is right. They might tell you that you have depression so they can tell the boss they helped you work out your depression and get credit for something that was never there. Or they might discredit anything you ever say again because you’re emotionally unstable thus prolonging the anxiety.

Intuition isn’t meant to be discussed with others. Since we are all animals, apex predators, intuition must be strongest in those most capable of surviving. You don’t see animals discuss with each other before they run away from something scary — they just start running because they want to survive.

This world creates problems so it can create solutions, remember that.

Not everyone put in charge of you is there to help you. On a micro scale concerning individual interactions, you have most likely encountered individuals whom act illogically over and over prolonging the issue at hand and asking for help over and over or a boss constantly changing the rules once you’ve gotten the current system down pat.

When there is a clear divergence between logic and emotion, and the edge begins to rise in your chest, remove yourself from the situation. Don’t discuss it with others.

We Arrest Journalists For Free Press, But That’s Not A Violation Of Free Press

 

This is the most dangerous kind. Feigning ignorance in an attempt to pacify, then becoming argumentative when challenged. Anyone who believes this officer is anything but disingenuous is an absolute Blow Pop.
This is the most dangerous kind. Feigning ignorance in an attempt to pacify, then becoming argumentative when challenged. Anyone who believes this officer is anything but disingenuous is an absolute Blow Pop.
The Sheriff’s STILL REFUSE to return Cache valley’s PHONE, sickening!!
LOL! “I’m not going to debate with you.” Instant fail. THAT is the sound of a cop who just got caught being ignorant,arrogant, wrong, and violating the Constitution.
This guy lies like crazy. He knows about releasing records, they just act stupid so they don’t have to release videos until the attorney General makes them. Then they Redact so much of it that it shows nothing. Then you are forced to start all over with the Attorney General. It’s like a dog chasing his tail. You just hardly ever get what you want even if you draw them a detailed picture.

What IMF Policies propose for Bitcoin and Crypto

Tesla gets kicked off S&P ESG List, where Exxon Mobile holds a top spot.