It’s easy to beat up, knock out, and concuss narcissists with WORDS.
Narcissists are clowns, who live lives full of failure. They are really pig headed, and don’t know when they’re beat.
Listen closely to their victim story.
Let’s say the narcissist in question has been badly beaten up in the past, because he did something dumb — he played games with the wrong person. Due to his insufferable arrogance he got beat up, knocked out, concussed in an utterly humiliating fashion.
You don’t use the trigger words at them, you use them on yourself, or talking about other people. The words carry the weight of the blow — they can’t bear to hear them.
So what you say is:
“This year has really knocked me around. I’m just feeling so bruised from work, you know? The new boss is really hammering me, it’s just making my head spin. I’d love to get married but I’m just feeling so pummelled by everything right now”.
You don’t have to make it quite so dense as that, but just keep hammering them with trigger words that make them get that sore look in their piggy little eyes. Trigger their shame by referring to yourself or others and using trigger words.
Pow, right in the victim story,
Keeping you hooked in is part of the game. You cannot reject them! They are the only ones who can determine when and how a relationship exists. Understand it’s a game! It’s not about loving, caring and a dozen red roses. It’s about control!
I believe he is bugging you to marry him simply to manipulate your emotions and see how much control he has over you. It could also be that he wants to keep you hanging on until he secures a new source of supply.
Oh my gosh. “Demanding to marry” him? Wow. How romantic. Lol. Sorry. He probably just wants control. For some reason, in his mind, marriage is going to benefit him. Maybe you have resources. Maybe he thinks you make an impressive looking couple. Maybe he suddenly feels like being married will fit his image. Maybe he has a green card that’s about to expire. Maybe he thinks you’ll be easier to control. Who knows. But I would say a good rule of thumb is not to marry someone who’s demanding to get married. Oh… and as for him being in the process of dumping you… that was then. This is now. They live in the present. Yesterday never happened. But don’t worry, he could go right back to “dumping” you in an instant.
Fear of loneliness. Maybe u can provide something he needs? Push and pull is a tactic to get you emotional hooked to him . Can go so far that u become addiction to the push and pull . The emotional roller-coaster. Hormone rush .
This is a great question and a question that people often don’t fully understand. Narcissists get married because narcissists value ONE thing above all else – SECURITY! Let me explain.
Narcissistic people are, by nature, very insecure. They also tend to be pessimistic on their outlook about things. They have seen their relationships end – often in tragic ways. Because of this, and their inability to really take full responsibility for the true reasons why their prior relationships ended, they often feel like no one understands them, no one is capable of understanding them and they won’t find “happiness”. Secure people realize that happiness is not a person, place or thing. Secure people also realize that happiness doesn’t come from anything outside of yourself. Narcissists do NOT see things that way. They look for external validation and happiness. Getting married makes them feel like SOMEONE truly does want them and love them. That knowledge makes them feel secure. It is also one of the reasons that they will move quickly from person to person. If one relationship ends, they can’t be alone, so they MUST have something to fill the void.
Most narcissists fear being alone more than anything. I say most because not all narcissistic types have that core fear. Covert narcissists actually are not afraid to be alone and, if not in a relationship, are likely to remain alone or have very transitory relationships. That narcissistic type is typically a “loaner” type anyway. Most other types of narcissistic people cannot stand being alone and it equates to utter loneliness and despair for them. So here comes marriage! The narcissist gets to have someone who devotes their life to them. They get to not be alone until they want to be, they have someone to heave their negative emotional baggage on AND they get to look “normal” to the outside world! After all, if someone managed to marry them, they can’t be that bad right?
At the end of the day, narcissists are just people! They are just people who are looking to fill a void left by some trauma that has led them down a winding, harrowing road that has been hard for them to escape from. They are lonely people who don’t realize how damaged they are, but DO realize how empty they feel when they are by themselves. So many people think that narcissists only marry for show, but that is just not true. Imagine that you are thirsty and you crave water, but drinking doesn’t stop the thirst. THAT is what love and relationships are like for a narcissist. They are searching and hoping and trying to fill themselves – to make themselves whole. Yet, nothing they do makes things right for them. They are broken people. Expecting broken people to be whole and well is like expecting someone who has never gone to school to perform complex brain surgery. When you don’t understand why you even behave the way you do, it is frustrating to go down a road that ends up not making you feel complete. Narcissists, on a very deep level, are EXTREMELY lonely people and, even though they have a hard time admitting it, they feel unwanted and unloved from a very deep place inside of their souls. They have watched people leave them and walk away from them and they have left people and walked away from people and they know what it is like to FEEL utterly and completely alone – even if their loneliness is a DIRECT result of their behavior. THAT is why they marry! Hope is a VERY powerful motivating factor for people who feel hopeless deep inside.
Narcissists also sometimes marry solely for financial reasons or status. However, that is not an unusual thing. Many people, both narcissists and non narcissistic people, will marry someone who is of a higher standing financially or socially. I will add that narcissists, when they marry for this reason, can become very dangerous to deal with. In this specific situation, the narcissist almost always has an exit strategy in mind at the beginning of the marriage and, sometimes, that exit strategy includes walking away with the money the person they are marrying has and that person ending up dead. I know that sounds extreme to some people, but narcissistic people are capable of EXTREME things because they don’t have that inner filter or buffer that stops most of us from doing the uncivilized and outrageous. Even if you do not have money, but are dealing with a narcissist who is money hungry, you are still in danger. Narcissists who are money hungry think nothing of taking out insurance policies and killing their spouses. It happens more than you think, so be VERY careful and do not ignore the warning signs! Not all narcissists are that way, but the ones that are can be very diabolical.
A marriage for a narcissist will NEVER be about connecting with another person to make that person’s world a better place. It will never be about love for the sake of pure love – even though a narcissist can “care”, in their own way, about the person they marry. Marriages to narcissists will always be about the narcissist fulfilling their own needs and addressing their own issues. For the person on the receiving end, a marriage to a narcissist becomes the loneliest island in the world. It becomes a place they signed up to go to, but also a place that is ultimately completely and totally unfulfilling.
That cop trying to get ID for cigarette ash is EXACTLY the type of cop who would plant drugs to get a bust like Zach Wester. Same personality, character, & superiority complex. I wonder what all his bodycams show over the years? He’s itching to get that town sued into oblivion.
the fact cops can treat us like this shows how far our “rights” have fallen.I’m an officer in Cincinnati, I’ve never seen anything so petty. I’m sure these officers can spend their time more wisely than detaining a man for simply dropping an ash.
And this is another perfect example as to why I dont trust a word that comes out of a cops mouth. And i never will until they change the laws making it a crime for ANY law enforcement to lie just as its a crime for a civilian to lie.
The fact that the LT admitted that they train their officers to split hairs to hopefully lead to a bigger violation is absolutely cringe.
….can kinda lead to other things…” That’s called being pre-textual (before-the written word/law)…using a small infraction in hopes of obtaining info for a larger offense.
The problem here is,…when that younger police officer one day becomes Sargent he will abuse his powers and get I.D or whatever else he wants, he is a bully. The ego’s and feeling of power over the peoples goes to their heads. Then they wonder why is their such a disconnect between the citizens and police officers, the clan protects and covers for their own.
Wow imagine how many people’s rights these police walk all over
Thin blue line on his belt buckle tells us ALL we need to know about these officers and their department. The only reason the officer didn’t push the issue is because he KNEW he was on the losing side. The LT telling him “he’s a good officer” is telling us ALL to believe HIS words and NOT our own eyes and ears. This video was SUCH a black eye on this entire department. Even the officer making the BS claim on the ashes being “littering” couldn’t keep a straight face as he spewed his bs. I’m surprised they didn’t charge him with “attempted arson”. The biggest blunder here imo is the higher ranking officer choosing to defend such outrageously disguisting behavior. The minute he did that, he owned the disgraceful abhorrent behavior of the first cop. He made it clear that they are in it to protect each other no matter how ridiculous their behavior and abuses of power are.
I’m watching this from the other side of the world (I’m northern European) and I really can’t believe this stuff, it’s insane what you good Americans have to put up with from your police, it’s absolutely absurd and a big shout out to this channel for exposing this kind of ridiculousness!
The cop can’t even really look him in the eye. He knows he’s being shady and disingenuous.
I came around the end of a pavilion and looked up and there was a police officer standing there and he said to me I don’t think you’re supposed to be in here doing this! I said to him I have a permit and I actually have more right to be here doing this than you do Smoking a cigarette and standing right in front of a sign that says “Young lungs at play no smoking permitted in this park $50 fine for any violators”. he became visibly agitated and started running his mouth to me about me telling a police officer what’s right and what’s not right and then he wanted to see my ID and then blah blah blah. he then flipped his cigarette onto the ground got in his car and drove off in a hurry and he was not a happy man. I refuse to show my ID which made him even matter. I didn’t do anything wrong and I wasn’t going to show him my ID no matter how hard he pressed. And I wasn’t being anti-police I was being pro citizen.
12:35 Being overzealous and vindictive is not indicative being a “good officer”. It’s indicative of someone who is prone to abuse his authority.
Now this is just one of the many reasons why so many people hate cops. This entire incident was totally unnecessary and the cop was on a power trip over pettiest bs that I have ever seen
I had a friend – a Marine Corp Veteran – that was driving home from a friend’s house in his pickup truck. He was honorably discharged and by now was rocking a ZZ Top look.
He brought a bottle of expensive liquor to his friend’s house and they drank a little bit of it. My friend left and didn’t want to leave the almost full bottle at his friend’s house and since he didn’t have a trunk he put the almost full bottle on the floor behind his seat – he didn’t want it to break in the bed of the truck. It was a short drive & an expensive bottle.
He got pulled over by a cop less than 1 mile from home for some BS reason. He was sober but got a ticket for having an opened bottle in his car (not open exactly – the seal was broke.)
The cop made him park his truck at the police station that was nearby and find another way home. My friend complied to avoid a confrontation and started to walk home when the cop called him back over and tried to hand him a knife, saying “You forgot your knife.” My friend was shocked and knew the cop was trying to plant evidence on him. He backed away and refused to accept the knife.
This behavior by the criminal cop is NOT how a democracy functions. Cops like that and in this video are undermining democracy and the Rule of Law all because they are ignorant, insecure twats on a power trip.
If criminal cops were removed from the force quickly and permanently we would get more ethical, honest police officers. They are the minority due to this sick culture. Thank God for the good cops!!
So basically pretty much, these 2 cops main number 1 goal is to hopefully be able to make arrests, and the easiest and fastest way of achieving that is to get i.d.’s and run the names. So if they run 90 names a day, that would average out to X many arrests. Wow!
For once, a reasonable man in charge of upholding the law when he stopped a situation from turning into something much worse. I’m also impressed how much he was open to you guys training some of their officers, that’s stellar! Someone who I would absolutely want to be in charge of my local force!
I would honestly have to ask for a FOIA request on any convictions related to cigarette ashes and littering. The cop claims he had cited people “several times” including pulling people over while driving and ashing out the window. It that is true then there will be court records that state the violations as well as the specifics.
The last officer on the scene was really the best one in the bunch. He was willing to listen and learn as well as reciprocate the “lack” of knowledge that many officer’s have. Really glad that officer stayed behind to talk to you guys.
I hope that any cops on this site read this: I used to be a hardcore supporter of law enforcement. Now, I’ve seen enough of this selective enforcement BS and outright abuse of citizens’ rights to view them as the enemy until they individually prove to me that they aren’t.
What kind of career satisfaction does this guy even get from trying to enforce this?
“I arrested someone for driving well over the drink limit”
“I intervened to stop an armed robbery”
“Well I and two other well paid officers argued for twenty minutes with some guy over a tiny speck of cigarette ash on an empty street”
Wounder if this guy would be just as passionate and aggressive if he was called to a school shooting, or would he hide, scroll his phone and pee his pants far from the action like the rest of those cowards.
This cop is everything that’s wrong with police today. I love what cops do and I believe there are many more good than bad out there. They need more training on the constitution and perhaps they need to spend more time on real crimes, or better yet, some public assistance to those in need. So much potential to do good but…
This officer is petty af. He’s on a fishing expedition to feed his ego.
Context is everything. Flicking ash in a wooded area during a drought is one thing. Having ash fall on concrete in the middle of a town with nothing that could possibly ignited from it is another. This guy is ridiculous, and coincidentally 1 town over from where I grew up. I’ll remember his face the next time I visit family. Easy to remember, as he exudes di ckness.
I saw the title and bust out laughing!, A sheriff in Houston Texas did that same thing to me ; told me to get rid of the cigarette? And I released it on the ground. Of course he wrote me a $250 littering ticket, the day of court? I parked on the side of the court house where the cops gather to smoke and laugh,I.videoed them.flickering cigarette butts everywhere; long story short??; DISMISSED.
My mate had something similar once before but he was pulled over for flicking ash out of his car window. Unbelievably petty. My mate asked him to show the evidence, then suddenly there was a speeding violation. This was way before cameras were common place. One stupid cop and my trust has gone forever for watching them make it up on the spot.
And he says he’s done the same job for seven years, apparently he hasn’t learned anything including the law.
That older cop was actually good. Rare to see older cops like that who understand all your rights
“It might seem light but it can lead to other bigger things”?? So ashing a cigarette in public leads to serious crime?
I would like to see what a federal court thinks about this violation of a man’s civil rights. You do not have to show ID for smoking a cigarette. Ashes falling off a cigarette is not disorderly conduct, obstruction or littering.
I know a lot of LEO’s and do you know how many of them I trust??? 2. That’s right 2 out of over 2 dozen. That LT is one who actually seems to believe in the constitution and it was surprising how he said the auditors are doing a service to the public and mentioned the auditors doing training to help teach cops about constitutional rights. I would say that he is actually a good cop which is a true rarity.
I’ve now seen the most trifling attempt to ID someone in all history. Cigarette ashes on a concrete sidewalk constitute both littering AND a fire hazard? Somebody tell the prison industrial complex to get busy building many millions more cell blocks to house all the repeat offenders they’ll soon be incarcerating.
Cigarette ash is a violation of the law…a law which I have just admitted that I don’t know… but it’s a violation…! If you don’t know a law, you CANNOT enforce it…by just making it up as you go along…!! 🧐🤬
The thin blue line belt buckle speaks volumes of the kind of officer this guy is.
The cops in Illinois confiscated the cremated ashes of my friend’s dead wife claiming they were some kind of drugs. They sent them in to the drug lab and found out what they were and then disposed of them. The guy couldn’t even get his dead wife’s ashes back after they dropped all charges against him. I would have sued their asses all the way to Hell.
I hope these guys stay in touch with the LT. I”d love to know if he took them up on their offer. THAT’S the kind of police interaction I actually like to see.
This cop’s hair alone puts his intellectual capacity at question. He verifies that he is not all that bright by using such a lame ploy to coerce this guy’s ID out of him. The guy saw through it immediately.
Pathetic abuse of authority. The retaliation is real, folks. This “pretext” of a friendly conversation turning into a baseless, unwarranted Terry Stop is ridiculous, and likely against that department’s own policy…
The fact that they can say some of this shit with a straight face, and then continually double-down…… I just can’t comprehend the mindset it takes to act like this, AND think you’re doing nothing wrong. It’s like self-hypnosis or something.
I think the fact that he admitted he’s pulled over multiple cars over the 7 years he’s been a cop suggests we should FOIA request all his traffic stops and get a group lawsuit together for what I’m positive will be multiple violations of rights.
I would absolutely refuse. Take me to jail I would love for you to explain to a judge that you arrested me for ash falling on the ground. I think that video in itself would be hilarious.
This is a great video of how hard it is for some people to just say, shit I was wrong. He’s trying so hard to justify lol.
That supervisor was one of the best officers I have seen. I would 100% support him.
I think everyone should ask the following question at the onset of contact with ANY LEO…. “Officer, will you please qualify the nature of this contact…is this consensual, am I being detained, or am I under arrest?” The LEO’s answer, if any, should determine how the citizen interacts with the LEO as encouraged by WTPU and countless other 1AAs. -VGQ
If I was a tax payer of that city I would be livid! It amazes me that even the cop was told by is LT he fucked up he still couldn’t let his ego go. He has to have the last word saying it was basically a warning. Did the LT spit out some bs that smoking a cigarette leads to busting people with drugs? 🤦♂️ I feel sorry for the next grandma smoking a cigarette. She might be slinging dope. 🤦♂️ I got secondhand embarrassment just from watching this.
The LT says at 12:39 it has to do with stud interdiction and that can lead to other bigger things like drugs. So they use cigarette ash out a car window as a justifiable reason to pull a car over and search it for drugs. This is total bs as ash out a car window is not illegal, only if driver throws the cigarette butt out the window.
Would have loved to have heard the conversation the two cops had in the cop car.
This lieutenant was pretty cool at deescalating this situation as the other cop was in my opinion ready to arrest this guy. As he stated plainly he had used it bother as probable cause to stop motorist..
I’m always overjoyed when they pull this and the person complies only to find out the person is an FBI agent.
Whether or not he had the legal authority to demand this man identify really doesn’t matter it just shows what kind of person this officer is by pulling a dirty rotten stunt like that. Pathetic. I hope this man learned his lesson though and realizes no police officer is your friend and there is no reason to talk to them at all because if you do they will only use what you do and say against you.
I would ask the cop something like, “is that a strategy of ur department, to do whatever u can possible to get as many i.d.’s as u can to run the names in hopes to be able to make as many warrant arrests possible?” Just to hear him flat out lie and say some practiced lines.
It seams like harassment to me ! When Cops esculate a situation when there is no need they are not doing that city any good
This cop is the true definition of a tyrant. He needs to turn in his badge now.
“it might seem real light but it kind of can lead to other bigger things”… Oh okay, got it. So you want to investigate people in order to find out which crimes they have already probably commited instead of having probable cause.
The police treat the public as the enemy. This is ridculous. Not to mention a complete waste of time.
This happened to me. A traffic stop, my brother was driving and the cop asked me for ID. I had my seat belt on and I told the PA officer that he had no right to ask me anything. They tried asking my brother but he wasn’t telling. After 30 minutes of them harassing me I lit a cigarette and when I flicked the ash out the window, bam! Cop showed me on the registration that it was littering. They got me for a probation violation I knew I had. Off to jail
Why does this cop claim “I’m recording, too” then continually cover his body cam lens with his left hand while interacting with the auditor? And what a pedantic argument about whether the ash is created by something man made?
I’m in my mid-60s and have always been a support the police/law and order kinda guy. The behavior of these officers disgusts me, as does their appearance – tattoos and hairstyles.
Someone please charge and fine that officer for littering, the dead skin cells that are falling off of him and onto our streets is just insane out of control 😆
I had a cop try this on me years ago. He pulled me over and tryed to tell me not to smoke my cigarette. I told him he was free to get away from my window if he didnt like the smoke. He made me get out of the car and stand at the back. I knew he was trying to get me to flick my cigarette but to harass me further. So I ashed into my own hand the whole cigarette then ate the butt after putting it out on the ashes in my hand. He literately said he was going to ticket me if I had flicked the butt.
People: I wish the cops arrested rapists and murderers and solved violent crimes. This cop: best I can do is harass you for ash.
You can tell that cop at the end has a good understanding why people do the audits that they do. The world needs more cops like him and less cops like that young one.
I saw this on Facebook. This cop was looking for a reason to try and identify this man and the statement about the ash on the concrete sidewalk was just about the most asinine idiotic reason to try and identify someone. Police are really out of control with their perceived authority. No laws were broken so go away. Stop fishing
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the most fragile thing on a planet is a cop’s ego
that’s called making a mountain out of a mole hill….literally
That’s what happens when you have a “for profit’ penal system.
“He’s a good cop. He’s the field training officer.” He spends his time trying to manipulate laws for his own purposes. Being an old geek, that would be called “lawful evil” in DnD terms. He uses the law to do evil things, like try to violate 4th Amendment rights by lying about littering.
The cop said he didn’t know the law then tries to enforce what he doesn’t know. The cops that harass citizens over silly stuff like this and even admit to not knowing the law need to get a ticket. They also should be required to take and pass tests covering the laws before being hired. They should also be required to be tested periodically during employment.
I generally support police, they do a hard usually thankless job, but they should absolutely be versed in the laws they are empowered to enforce. If you want to know if you’re dealing with a good/bad cop at a glance look no further than the Blue Line gang insignia. That’s an inconspicuous indicator that they stand with other police before they’ll stand with citizens and laws they are sworn to serve.
If I was a luetenant, I would have dismissed this young cop from working the rest of the day. Period… His arrogance and ignorance is very typical of an ego driven twit just wanting to start trouble while working on the city time clock.
I hope no one ever goes to this town and spends a cent with jerks like this that should be out on the road patrolling and protecting . They give good police officers a bad name . Shame on you and the town you have sworn to protect I served 25 years in the service to protect our rights and these guys should be FIRED
Best advice when a cop approaches you is to simply tell the cop the name of your attorney and give the name of said attorney and tel lthem if they have any questions to contact your attorney and walk off. If they physically stop you at that point it’s assault and kidnapping. Defend yourself using any means possible and this shit will stop.
Many things scare me in this video in the sense that the young man is training other officers how to split the law to find bad people or bad things that gets very dangerous to corruption. The FTO might be trying to train the other officers however I believe he’s also training the officers to possibly break laws and step on people’s civil rights. RLEO
Alternate residence duty, or sankin kotai, was a system developed in the Warring States period and perfected by the Tokugawa shogunate. In essence, the system demanded simply that daimyo reside in the Tokugawa castle at Edo for periods of time, alternating with residence at the daimyo’s own castle. When a daimyo was not residing in the Tokugawa castle, he was required to leave his family at his overlord’s castle town. It was, at its simplest, a hostage system which required that either the daimyo or his family (including the very important heir) always be physically subject to the whim of the overlord.
The system involved burdens far beyond those of physical submission. Since the daimyo was a person of considerable status, he was expected to maintain a home within the overlord’s castle which was equal to his status. This expectation required, then, a castle and a mansion in the retainer’s domain and a mansion in Edo, each with the appropriate degree of staffing and luxury. In effect, an expensive burden was imposed on the daimyo, one which depleted his economic freedom to act. In addition, the daimyo was required to move between his home domain and Edo. Again, an appropriate degree of splendor was expected and this too cost money: horses and porters had to be rented, inns, food and entertainment had to be arranged and purchased, and an appropriate retinue of guards, servants, aides and advisors had to accompany a traveling daimyo. The total financial burden on daimyo during the Edo period is commonly reckoned at 25% of the net revenues available to the daimyo. Since display became a significant measure of status, ostentatious display in the process of sankin kotai increased the burden.
Sankin kotai was formalized in the first decades of the Edo period so that certain hereditary retainers of the Tokugawa (the fudai daimyo) alternated in Edo every six months while most other daimyo rotated to Edo every other year. The schedule of travel along the five main highways was fixed, in part so that the burden of a daimyo’s retinue (usually 150 to 300 people), did not impose to great a strain on the transport facilities along the Nakasendo or any other highway used for travel: the exact route and duration of travel was also fixed so that travelers on the Nakasendo were much the same year after year.
The system promoted control by the Tokugawa over the entire country, moving Japan far away from the disunity of the Warring States Period to the nationalism of the 19th and 20th centuries. It also caused a more rapid emergence of a national commercial and financial system because the daimyo had to sell local products in national markets to provide the money necessary to pay expenses on the road and in Edo. Osaka and Edo became the central points of a national economy which unified the nation in economic terms even while the political system remained nominally decentralized. The system also brought together people and ideas, both on the highways as well as in Edo and other urban centers, and contributed to the emergence of Japan’s cultural unity. It was not, however, a universally loved system. When the Tokugawa shogunate began to lose power, it abolished sankin kotai in 1862. Within six months, nearly half the population of Edo left to return to their home domains. One daimyo even dismantled his residence and took it with him.
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