openpolitics.com

ENFP – Cuts pizza into 8 slices, and then juggles all of them while doing a handstand, taking one bite of each slice at a time.

ENTP – Eats the entire crust first, and then puts the pizza back, just to cause a controversy so they can debate their friends about it.

INFJ – “Woah where’d the pizza go? I was so focused on performing a complete analysis of that last social interaction in my head, I didn’t even realize I ate the entire thing.”

INTJ – INTJ: “Hey kid, want some of this fresh pizza?”

Kid [grabs pizza and starts eating it]: “Sure, thanks, you’re so kind!”

INTJ: “No problem! And that will be $75.99 by the way. And if you refuse to pay, you’ve already started to eat the pizza, so you will lose a lawsuit of $500 in court.”

Kid: “Wait what? Whatever, fine.”

INTJ: “Why, thank you. Oh also, there will be an additional fee of $200 if you would like to purchase the cure to the poisonous bacteria that was in that slice you just ate.”

INFP – Eats the pizza on a romantic date with their perfect significant other that unfortunately only exists inside their head.

ESTJ – “Man, who even cooked this pizza? It’s clearly underdone. I refuse to eat it, and demand a refund.”

ESTP – Eats the entire pizza, and then sees how long they can last on a roller coaster before throwing it up.

INTP – Thinks hard about the theoretical implications of the chemical attributes that formed the bubbles in the pizza.

ENTJ – “Who has time to eat pizza? I’ll just eat in the car, on the way to another entrepreneur convention that I’ve set up.”

ESFP – Throws a big party so all their friends can help them eat the pizza.

ISFP – “Hm wow cool—looks like I can also taste a dash of oregano as well. I’ll have to remember that when I try to recreate this pizza from scratch tonight.”

ISTP – Just eats the pizza in a perfectly normal way.

ENFJ – “So in conclusion my students, as we finish eating this pizza together I want you all to remember what this object lesson was all about. Just like how the pepperoni is the best part of pizza, we can also strive to be the best part in other people’s lives.”

ESFJ – “But why did you give me this pizza? Do you think I look skinny? And wait hold on… this is gluten-free? Are you saying that I’m a gluttonous person?”

ISTJ – “If I start eating this pizza at a rate of 2 bites per second, and account for air resistance, I will finish this pizza in approximately 55.4 seconds.”

ISFJ – Shares the pizza with all their friends, and ends up not even having any left for themselves.