LOVEBOMBING:
- Is done because the narcissist is infatuated with you.
- Entails mirroring and future faking because the narcissist wants you to approve of them.
- Means that the narcissists is pinning their hopes on you being the person that will make them happy forever.
- Is the narcissist actually believing that you’re perfect and they will never leave you.
- Is subconsciously done to gain supply from you, in the form of your devotion and adoration.
HOOVERING:
- Is done because the narcissist is looking to use you for something.
- Entails apologies they know they don’t mean and promises they know won’t keep because the narcisisst wants you to accept them back, so they can get whatever it is they want from you.
- Means that the narcissist knows that you can’t make them happy, but they’re willing to endure you for whatever they’re looking to get from you.
- Is the narcissist knowing that they hate you and that this return is but a temporary one, because they’ll leave you as soon as they feel they don’t need you anymore.
- Is consciously done to gain some sort of benefit from you.
The two are nothing alike.
In the first scenario, you’re their saving grace.
And in the second you’re a reject that they have to make do with.
There’s a clear difference in treatment as well.
There will be no lovebombing once you accept the narcissist back after a hoover.
You’ll be sent straight to devaluation.
Which will be followed up with another discard.