Top of my list is
- people pretending to be something they’re not, such as:
- knowing more than they do
- being morally better than they are
Some other things I despise are people who:
- are hypocrites, basically the same as the above
- lie, again about deception and dishonesty
- are disrespectful of others, especially the less fortunate and marginalized
- have condescending attitude, basically the same as disrespect but different nuance
- gossip negatively, talk badly about people behind their backs, etc.
- are two-faced and speak charmingly, sympathetically to a person’s face but rip them to shreds behind their backs, gossip about them, etc. This is different from hypocrite because it’s not about morals or objective principles.
Despise vs Hate
Please note that things I despise are different from things I hate. Despise means to lose all respect for the person holding or doing it. Hate means I absolutely hate it (extreme dislike) when someone does it to me, such as stealing my stuff or shouting at me. What I lose when this happens is trust—not respect; I may or may not have had respect for this person but I did trust them to treat their fellow human with decency. Such damaging behaviour destroys trust.
Respect vs Disrespect
By respect, I mean the feeling that a person is worthy as a human being, someone whose opinion counts and whose advice should be taken seriously. When you lose my respect, you no longer count in those very important ways, you no longer matter. I won’t go out of my way to hurt you—it’s too much hassle—but neither will I go out of my way to be good to you. Basically, for all intents and purposes, you no longer exist. If I am forced to deal with you, I will do what I have to as a means to an end, but that’s it.
If I respect you, I will do what I can to please you, make you feel good, be helpful to you. Even if you are a neighbour I barely know, if I have no reason to disrespect you, I will take your input seriously regarding community issues. Just so you know, my default position is respect for all people no matter who they are. To lose that respect you have to actively do or be something I despise.
It can be complicated. If you do something I hate, e.g. steal my stuff or yell at me for no reason, while at the same time claiming to be a good trustworthy citizen, I consider you a hypocrite. You will note that I despise hypocrites.