Elizabeth Warren Sells Out

Senator Elizabeth Warren once appeared on Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, TBS’s unwatchable Daily Show spinoff. This pairing had potential — for the first time, Bee had a chance to appear funny in comparison with her guest. “I am exhausted. I am personally broken,” said Bee, referring to the political scene. “People come up to me all the time and they’re like, ‘What do I do? What do I do? Help me!’ So my question to you is: What should I tell them?”

Gesturing wildly and with an edge to her voice, Senator Warren had marching orders ready: “You get in the fight, and then you fight as hard as you can,” she responded.

“But what does that mean?” asked Bee.

“Oh, come on! You know what it means! It means when you’re told to be quiet, you don’t sit down and be quiet,” replied Warren. “You stand back up.”

.. Warren may wish for capitalism’s demise, but as long as it’s here, she plans to do as well as she can out of it.

.. Elizabeth Warren is becoming a brand. “She’s the Apple of politics,” said Adam Green

.. Warren “has tried out for many roles:

  1. writer of silly self-help books (back when she was advertising herself as ‘Dr. Phil’s financial guru’),
  2. academic, Naderite populist,” and more. It is now her turn to play a more familiar role:
  3. “First Lady of the Left.”

.. Merge the

  • “man of the people” cult of Bernie Sanders with the
  • “You go, girl!” cult of Hillary Clinton into one movement,

embodied in the very person of Elizabeth Warren, and you could have something unstoppable in 2020. This is the master plan.

Warren will be

  • the anti-Trump champion,
  • the feminist champion,
  • the working-class champion,
  • the young people’s champion,
  • the media sensation,
  • the pop-culture star,
  • and — don’t you dare forget — the (totally authentic)
  • racial minorities’ champion all in one.

.. Elizabeth Warren cannot deliver the goods. The senior senator from Massachusetts is awkward and halting, even enervating in her relentless hectoring. Her false enthusiasm — the country, she insisted to Samantha Bee, will come out of the Trump years even better than it was before because “we don’t have any other choice”

.. Elizabeth Warren is the kind of politician that only a true believer could love.