Are INTJs drawn to INFJs?
INFJs are my favorite people (both female and male).
The attraction is like opposite poles of a magnet. We both see the big picture, and can both see below the surface due to being the only two Ni-doms, which are quite rare. This allows the discussion to go into great depth on a variety of topics. The INFJ is the only type with whom I completely lose track of time.
As an INTJ, I mostly only see (and am interested in) the abstract systems, while the INFJ sees how people fit into these abstract systems. Together, we can see the whole picture. During discussions on issues, I present the most rational solution, and they contribute the “people” aspect of the system, and together we can can synthesize the optimum solution based on the full picture.
The INTJ’s Te-Fi complements the INFJ’s Fe-Ti very well. Fe allows the INFJ to understand the INTJ at a deep level, so the INFJ doesn’t get intimidated by the INTJ. The INTJ’s Fi ensures a strict moral code is being followed, and this satisfies the INFJ’s Fe. I think Fe ensures compassion matters in the construction of the idea, something I might otherwise forget.
The INTJ is happy to have a capable partner in the conversation who sees the world in a similar way but through a different lens. Fe draws out the INTJ, and Ti provides the INFJ a way to keep up and to come up with questions and ideas to keep the INTJ’s Te interested and challenged.
A shared Se function allows us to enjoy similar activities too, which is very helpful since it helps lubricate the relationship.
I like INFJs a lot. The part that I wouldn’t adopt is any kind of idealism, for myself. But I can watch them without resistance. It’s fun. INTJ.
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Karan MehtaYeah, especially when that idealism reaches self-destructive levels.
My contribution to the relationship is to occasionally inject logic into the proceedings in order to help protect the INFJ from their self-sacrificing nature.
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Andrea AlvarezYou put into words what I’ve been for quite sometime trying to process. This is so scary and accurate. I met an amazing guy through tinder, I’m an INFJ and he is INTJ and since the moment we started chatting something just clicked in so many levels and like I’ve never felt before. We would talk for
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Karan MehtaThat’s a great story (and really believable, I know), and I’m sad that it didn’t work out. :/
But at least now you a bit more about yourself and what you’re looking for. 🙂1
Henri BaggsterThe only problem with the shared SE function is when you both get drunk
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Sharon SperryAs an INTJ with a good friend who is an INFJ, I find it one of my closest relationships. We know each other at a deep level. That deep knowledge allows us to both protect each other’s vulnerabilities and effectively and lovingly point out corrections that need to be made. My INFJ friend knows things about me I would never share with other, so-called, good friends. I trust my INFJ friend absolutely.
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Sam MatthewsDo you think INTJs get intimidated by the INFJ though since they have Fi rather than Fe, and thus can’t understand the INFJ on a deep level?
Karan MehtaIt’s really hard to intimidate an INTJ.
INFJs are among the least threatening/intimidating types out there, precisely because of Fe. Fe makes the situation comfortable for the other person, and that’s why the INFJ is called “The Therapist”.
The INTJ can understand the INFJ better than any other type in my opinion. Ni is a very unusual function, so we can talk philosophically—express complex ideas in few words, and build off each other. Being Ni-dom allows us to connect the dots in each other’s ideas.
Furthermore, Te-Fi is great to help the INFJ better understand themselves using Fe-Ti. Te-Fi helps the INTJ point out character traits in the INFJ that are presented in a palatable way. INTJ’s Fi is greatly respected, and the logical Te presents the idea in a way that is accepted by their Ti.
The INTJ can help the INFJ look at a situation in a dispassionate manner, which is helpful the INFJ is overwhelmed by emotions.
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Sam MatthewsAlso, I think the INTJ understands many, if not the majority/all other types better than any other type due to the fact that they have the highest conscientiousness of any type on average and due to their tendency to think objectively to a greater degree than most if not all other types.
Tobias NorheimI (an INTJ) have never been friends with an INFJ, but what’s really interesting is that I can detect an INFJ girl who I’m attracted to in an instant. I read somewhere that humans can decide in a matter of a split second wether they are attracted to someone or not, so I think it’s that. It has just been a feeling that I basically know this person is an INFJ, and then later I have analyzed them only to find out it was true.
