My Daughter’s Advanced Speech with Sarah | Real Life Aspergers Interviews

06:04

and you also mentioned to me earlier
that anxiety is a big part of your life
and one of the ways that you kind of
mitigate that is through the use of
routines and sticking to things that you
know yes
tell me about how that is great and how
that is not so great I could talk about
how like routines are great and how
doing the same thing is great or the
time to date like oh my oh my life I
could talk about it it’s great because
when you have a routine it’s that
familiarity so you kind of know what’s
coming next you know what to expect and
it kind of just makes my life happier
because it’s not all the unexpected
stuff but in the same way because you
like routine and that kind of holds on
to your anxiety as soon as one little
thing changes that has such a depth
trend effect on my day to day life
so say you have the same thing for
breakfast every day I have this I like
to have the same thing but then recently
we stayed somewhere else came home and
we didn’t have any milk in the fridge
like I usually have the soya milk in the
fridge we didn’t have any to then I was
like ah well now what do I do and my
husband who is an autistic he’d be like
odd just a toast but for me straight
away that’s like what else is gonna go
wrong like what am I gonna do now I
gotta think of what I’d do for this now
I gotta think about what my daughter’s
gonna have now I’ve got to think about
all these things so in a way for me
routine is like a key element of my life
and it’s amazing and structure is
amazing but at the same time then you
have this whole anxiety that the
structure is going to go wrong and the
routines gonna go wrong and then if it
doesn’t go right so the I guess the way
I feel about routine and things and and
how has your husband gone understanding
those things so
we’ve been together ten years now and so
I’ve always been the way I’d been so
I’ve always had problems with like food
08:24
and things and we wish there was anxiety
08:25
[Music]
08:27
so we thought that I was gonna suddenly
08:30
be cured by going to therapy and things
08:32
and then we find out I’m not gonna be
08:34
cured because it’s like I’m autistic
08:36
it’s gonna always be around so that’s
08:38
something we’ve had to kind of we’re
08:40
adapting to at the moment cuz it’s only
08:42
been going since kind of August so
08:46
trying to adapt to that and trying to do
08:48
it it’s difficult for him to and he
08:52
doesn’t understand everything I mean I
08:55
can’t say anything bad about him because
08:57
he’s been wonderful he looks up all of
08:59
the information and lots of people don’t
09:01
don’t want to do that but then I
09:04
sometimes my anxiety there’s then he’s
09:06
only doing that because you’ve got a
09:07
daughter who has it
09:08
so then I’m like ah you know he’s still
09:10
gonna leave me he’s still gonna do this
09:12
he’s still gonna do that why would I do
09:15
that when you’ve always been this way
09:17
so questions that it sounds like for a
09:24
big part of your life you thought a lot
09:27
of those artistic traits were due to
09:29
anxiety yeah which meant that you
09:32
thought maybe if I got therapy and got
09:35
less anxious then I wouldn’t do these
09:37
things as much yeah especially when it
09:41
comes to not socializing and not having
09:44
friends and things but then when I went
09:48
to therapy she said but you didn’t seem
09:50
like depressed and things and I said
09:52
what if I’m doing things that I want to
09:54
do I’m happy but everything I want to do
09:57
is on my own so I want to play like The
10:00
Sims I want to read I want to go to the
10:03
cinema by myself I want to do this and
10:06
I’m really happy when I’m doing that
10:07
then when I have to go out with other
10:09
people and do things that I don’t want
10:11
to do that’s when I’m worse and she was
10:16
like well that’s not depression and
10:18
she’s like how do was your anxiety
10:20
lasted and I’m like oh it’s always been
10:22
like this like I’ve always felt like
10:24
this it feels like oh and then she was
10:27
then Oh
10:28
after too
10:29
sessions with her she was actually after
10:31
the first 10 minutes of meeting you I
10:33
thought that you were autistic and she’s
10:36
like so now I’m kind of like referring
10:38
you full of this and to find out and
10:40
everything so and yeah I thought I was
10:44
just magic cure her but how did it feel
10:48
how did it feel to realize that you are
10:51
on the spectrum it was a relief because
10:56
I know like why I was feeling the way I
10:59
was for bite I life and why I had
11:02
difficulties with things in school and
11:04
stuff like I really struggled as well
11:07
like I didn’t like going to lessons I
11:09
didn’t like doing anything so it’s
11:12
really for that but at the same time
11:13
then I’m still kind of coming to terms
11:16
with it all because it’s kind of like
11:18
mourning for the fact that I’m never
11:21
gonna be the way I expected to be with
11:25
certain things because I thought all
11:26
once I’ve got this under control I can
11:29
do all of these things but I know I can
11:32
achieve some a bit but at the same time
11:34
there’s other things that are always
11:35
just gonna be the thing because it’s
11:37
just who I am and yeah if that make
11:42
sense yeah definitely so this definitely
11:48
gets kind of like know that there’s
11:50
reason for things and now I can
11:52
appreciate Who I am for who I am as
11:56
opposed to trying to change myself to
11:58
fit in how everybody else thinks that
12:01
you should be yeah definitely makes
12:05
sense and so finally what would you say
12:12
to other women out there who maybe
12:15
they’ve got a daughter on the spectrum
12:16
or maybe they are starting to get clues
12:19
that well people are suggesting you
12:21
might be on the spectrum this might be
12:23
explaining things for you what would you
12:25
say to them obviously I would say to do
12:29
their research autism and stuff is very
12:32
different with girls than it is boys a
12:35
lot of the research and things and
12:38
diagnosis has to do with boys and not go
12:41
so you’ve got to find yourself a really
12:42
good doctor as well here at
12:44
understands it within females and how
12:46
they find it look I found help in like
12:51
Facebook groups and that just reached
12:53
out to other people who are on the
12:55
spectrum I found people really helpful
12:57
they’re really open to talking about
12:58
their struggles and what they think but
13:01
yeah for me it’s just if you think is do
13:05
your research and look at different
13:07
things go on YouTube that’s it’s amazing
13:10
to find creatures who will actually talk
13:12
about subject and yeah I think that’s
13:16
the best advice I can give it it’s just
13:18
if you think you are you probably are
13:20
because if you’re thinking that you are
13:22
it’s not a normal thing to think that
13:24
you’re autistic apparently yeah I think
13:29
oh I think I might be autistic it’s not
13:32
something that you generally think so if
13:34
you’re thinking that you are then you
13:37
know it’s we’re actually looking more
13:39
into it because you’ll probably end up
13:42
finding out that you actually are
13:44
autistic and and for me personally what
13:46
made the biggest difference was
13:48
physically meeting in person other
13:51
autistic people so a support group even
13:56
before I knew I just said can I come
13:58
along lesson yes so yeah see where I am
14:01
to get the support you have to have like
14:04
the official diagnosis and the waiting
14:07
list of really long so at the moment
14:09
hard to see that but meeting other
14:13
people with autism and stuff especially
14:15
people your age I think is a really
14:17
important thing so that’s why I’m kind
14:20
of reaching out to other Creators and
14:22
start from towards and that’s why
14:24
eventually I’ll upload a video that’s a
14:28
good segue because you and your blog a
14:31
YouTube blog right yeah yeah we’d say I
14:35
have a blog but I talk about other
14:37
disabilities with and it’s just getting
14:39
the confidence up and getting past the
14:41
anxiety like whoa to actually talk about
14:45
it and be heard about it and stuff and
14:48
it’s something that I want to pursue
14:50
more of talking about it and actually
14:51
you know yeah
14:57
yes well it’s it’s great to have
14:59
different voices out there and I’m sure
15:03
lots of people will resonate strongly
15:06
with you and your story what’s the name
15:09
of your YouTube channel
15:10
it’s a mundane life and if you just
15:14
search that it will come up no one else
15:18
wants to be called a mundane life no
15:20
nobody else wants to be like ordinary
15:22
and warranty they but yeah I guess now
15:25
it’s quite an ironic name because autism
15:28
as well there’s anything but mundanes
15:31
none of what you described okay mundane
15:36
okay well thanks Sarah it’s been really
15:39
it’s been really great to talk to you oh
15:41
I’ll put a link to your channel in the
15:44
description below so I think everyone
15:48
watching has enjoyed today’s espy
15:51
interview and I’ll be endeavoring to do
15:55
some more in the future because I
15:57
believe that the best way to understand
15:59
autism and the diversity in the autism
16:01
spectrum is to meet others on the
16:05
spectrum so this is one way I’m trying
16:07
to elderly okay well thanks and thanks
16:12
for your time – Sarah right no problem
16:14
thank you Ray
16:23
you