My Daughter’s Advanced Speech with Sarah | Real Life Aspergers Interviews


and you also mentioned to me earlier
that anxiety is a big part of your life
and one of the ways that you kind of
mitigate that is through the use of
routines and sticking to things that you
know yes
tell me about how that is great and how
that is not so great I could talk about
how like routines are great and how
doing the same thing is great or the
time to date like oh my oh my life I
could talk about it it’s great because
when you have a routine it’s that
familiarity so you kind of know what’s
coming next you know what to expect and
it kind of just makes my life happier
because it’s not all the unexpected
stuff but in the same way because you
like routine and that kind of holds on
to your anxiety as soon as one little
thing changes that has such a depth
trend effect on my day to day life
so say you have the same thing for
breakfast every day I have this I like
to have the same thing but then recently
we stayed somewhere else came home and
we didn’t have any milk in the fridge
like I usually have the soya milk in the
fridge we didn’t have any to then I was
like ah well now what do I do and my
husband who is an autistic he’d be like
odd just a toast but for me straight
away that’s like what else is gonna go
wrong like what am I gonna do now I
gotta think of what I’d do for this now
I gotta think about what my daughter’s
gonna have now I’ve got to think about
all these things so in a way for me
routine is like a key element of my life
and it’s amazing and structure is
amazing but at the same time then you
have this whole anxiety that the
structure is going to go wrong and the
routines gonna go wrong and then if it
doesn’t go right so the I guess the way
I feel about routine and things and and
how has your husband gone understanding
those things so
we’ve been together ten years now and so
I’ve always been the way I’d been so
I’ve always had problems with like food
and things and we wish there was anxiety
so we thought that I was gonna suddenly
be cured by going to therapy and things
and then we find out I’m not gonna be
cured because it’s like I’m autistic
it’s gonna always be around so that’s
something we’ve had to kind of we’re
adapting to at the moment cuz it’s only
been going since kind of August so
trying to adapt to that and trying to do
it it’s difficult for him to and he
doesn’t understand everything I mean I
can’t say anything bad about him because
he’s been wonderful he looks up all of
the information and lots of people don’t
don’t want to do that but then I
sometimes my anxiety there’s then he’s
only doing that because you’ve got a
daughter who has it
so then I’m like ah you know he’s still
gonna leave me he’s still gonna do this
he’s still gonna do that why would I do
that when you’ve always been this way
so questions that it sounds like for a
big part of your life you thought a lot
of those artistic traits were due to
anxiety yeah which meant that you
thought maybe if I got therapy and got
less anxious then I wouldn’t do these
things as much yeah especially when it
comes to not socializing and not having
friends and things but then when I went
to therapy she said but you didn’t seem
like depressed and things and I said
what if I’m doing things that I want to
do I’m happy but everything I want to do
is on my own so I want to play like The
Sims I want to read I want to go to the
cinema by myself I want to do this and
I’m really happy when I’m doing that
then when I have to go out with other
people and do things that I don’t want
to do that’s when I’m worse and she was
like well that’s not depression and
she’s like how do was your anxiety
lasted and I’m like oh it’s always been
like this like I’ve always felt like
this it feels like oh and then she was
then Oh
after too
sessions with her she was actually after
the first 10 minutes of meeting you I
thought that you were autistic and she’s
like so now I’m kind of like referring
you full of this and to find out and
everything so and yeah I thought I was
just magic cure her but how did it feel
how did it feel to realize that you are
on the spectrum it was a relief because
I know like why I was feeling the way I
was for bite I life and why I had
difficulties with things in school and
stuff like I really struggled as well
like I didn’t like going to lessons I
didn’t like doing anything so it’s
really for that but at the same time
then I’m still kind of coming to terms
with it all because it’s kind of like
mourning for the fact that I’m never
gonna be the way I expected to be with
certain things because I thought all
once I’ve got this under control I can
do all of these things but I know I can
achieve some a bit but at the same time
there’s other things that are always
just gonna be the thing because it’s
just who I am and yeah if that make
sense yeah definitely so this definitely
gets kind of like know that there’s
reason for things and now I can
appreciate Who I am for who I am as
opposed to trying to change myself to
fit in how everybody else thinks that
you should be yeah definitely makes
sense and so finally what would you say
to other women out there who maybe
they’ve got a daughter on the spectrum
or maybe they are starting to get clues
that well people are suggesting you
might be on the spectrum this might be
explaining things for you what would you
say to them obviously I would say to do
their research autism and stuff is very
different with girls than it is boys a
lot of the research and things and
diagnosis has to do with boys and not go
so you’ve got to find yourself a really
good doctor as well here at
understands it within females and how
they find it look I found help in like
Facebook groups and that just reached
out to other people who are on the
spectrum I found people really helpful
they’re really open to talking about
their struggles and what they think but
yeah for me it’s just if you think is do
your research and look at different
things go on YouTube that’s it’s amazing
to find creatures who will actually talk
about subject and yeah I think that’s
the best advice I can give it it’s just
if you think you are you probably are
because if you’re thinking that you are
it’s not a normal thing to think that
you’re autistic apparently yeah I think
oh I think I might be autistic it’s not
something that you generally think so if
you’re thinking that you are then you
know it’s we’re actually looking more
into it because you’ll probably end up
finding out that you actually are
autistic and and for me personally what
made the biggest difference was
physically meeting in person other
autistic people so a support group even
before I knew I just said can I come
along lesson yes so yeah see where I am
to get the support you have to have like
the official diagnosis and the waiting
list of really long so at the moment
hard to see that but meeting other
people with autism and stuff especially
people your age I think is a really
important thing so that’s why I’m kind
of reaching out to other Creators and
start from towards and that’s why
eventually I’ll upload a video that’s a
good segue because you and your blog a
YouTube blog right yeah yeah we’d say I
have a blog but I talk about other
disabilities with and it’s just getting
the confidence up and getting past the
anxiety like whoa to actually talk about
it and be heard about it and stuff and
it’s something that I want to pursue
more of talking about it and actually
you know yeah
yes well it’s it’s great to have
different voices out there and I’m sure
lots of people will resonate strongly
with you and your story what’s the name
of your YouTube channel
it’s a mundane life and if you just
search that it will come up no one else
wants to be called a mundane life no
nobody else wants to be like ordinary
and warranty they but yeah I guess now
it’s quite an ironic name because autism
as well there’s anything but mundanes
none of what you described okay mundane
okay well thanks Sarah it’s been really
it’s been really great to talk to you oh
I’ll put a link to your channel in the
description below so I think everyone
watching has enjoyed today’s espy
interview and I’ll be endeavoring to do
some more in the future because I
believe that the best way to understand
autism and the diversity in the autism
spectrum is to meet others on the
spectrum so this is one way I’m trying
to elderly okay well thanks and thanks
for your time – Sarah right no problem
thank you Ray

Khamenei Wants to Put Iran’s Stamp on Reprisal for U.S. Killing of Top General

In a departure from Iran’s usual tactics of hiding behind proxies, the country’s supreme leader wants any retaliation for the killing of a top military commander to be carried out openly by Iranian forces.

In the tense hours following the American killing of a top Iranian military commander, the country’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, made a rare appearance at a meeting of the government’s National Security Council to lay down the parameters for any retaliation. It must be a direct and proportional attack on American interests, he said, openly carried out by Iranian forces themselves, three Iranians familiar with the meeting said Monday.

It was a startling departure for the Iranian leadership. Since the establishment of the Islamic Republic in 1979, Tehran had almost always cloaked its attacks behind the actions of proxies it had cultivated around the region. But in the fury generated by the killing of the military commander, Maj. Gen. Qassim Suleimani, a close ally and personal friend of the supreme leader, the ayatollah was willing to cast aside those traditional cautions.

The nation’s anger over the commander’s death was on vivid display Monday, as hundreds of thousands of Iranians poured into the streets of Tehran for a funeral procession and Mr. Khamenei wept openly over the coffin.

After weeks of furious protests across the country against corruption and misrule, both those who had criticized and supported the government marched together, united in outrage. Subway trains and stations were packed with mourners hours before dawn, and families brought children carrying photographs of General Suleimani.

A reformist politician, Sadegh Kharazi, said he had not seen crowds this size since the 1989 funeral of the Islamic Republic’s founder, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini.

“We are ready to take a fierce revenge against America,” Gen. Hamid Sarkheili of the Revolutionary Guard, declared to the throng. “American troops in the Persian Gulf and in Iraq and Syria are within our reach.”

No negotiations or deal, only war with America,” students chanted in an online video from a university campus.

A renowned eulogist and member of the Revolutionary Guard, Sadegh Ahangaran, exhorted the funeral crowds to raise their voices so “damned America can hear you” and to “wave the flags in preparation for war.”

The increasingly public vows of direct action on Monday constituted Iran’s latest act of defiance to President Trump. Over the weekend the president had repeatedly threatened to retaliate for any attacks against American interests by ordering airstrikes against as many as 52 potential targets, one for each of the American hostages held after the seizure of the United States embassy in Tehran in 1979.

In response, Iran’s moderate president, Hassan Rouhani, on Monday responded with his own numerology. “Those who refer to the number 52 should also remember the number 290,” he said on Twitter, a reference to the 290 people killed in 1988 in the accidental downing of an Iranian airliner by an American warship. “Never threaten the Iranian nation,” Mr. Rouhani added.

Where, when and even if Iran may choose to retaliate remains a matter of speculation. As Iranian leaders weighed just what form it might take, analysts said the targets included American troops in neighboring Syria and Iraq, American bases in the Persian Gulf or American embassies or diplomats almost anywhere.

When previous attempts at direct strikes or assassinations have proved unsuccessful, some noted, Iranian-backed militants have turned to the simpler tactic of killing civilians with terrorist bombs.

This was the sequence in 2012 with the Iranian-backed Lebanese group Hezbollah. After failing in attempts to attack Israeli targets or kill Israeli officials in revenge for the killing of one of the group’s leaders, the militants eventually settled on the easier job of bombing a bus load of Israeli tourists in Bulgaria, said Afshon Ostovar, a scholar of Iran at the Naval Postgraduate School.

“We are in uncharted territory, and the truth of the matter is nobody knows how Iran is going to respond. I don’t think even Iran knows,” Mr. Ostovar said. “But I think there is a blood lust right now in the Revolutionary Guards.”

In Iraq, where the Parliament had earlier called for the immediate expulsion of the 5,000 American troops stationed there, Prime Minister Mahdi on Monday listed steps to curtail the troops’ movements.

While plans were being made for departure of the Americans, he said, they will now be limited to “training and advising” Iraqi forces, required to remain within the bases and barred from Iraqi air space.

Mr. Mahdi met with Matthew Tueller, the American ambassador to Iraq, on Monday, and “stressed the need for joint action to implement the withdrawal,” according to a statement and photo released by Mr. Mahdi’s office. He also emphasized Iraq’s efforts to prevent the current tensions between Iran and the United States from sliding into “open war.”

The United States military stirred a media flurry by accidentally releasing a draft letter that seemed to describe imminent plans to withdraw from Iraq. Marine Corps Brig. Gen. William H. Seely III, the commander of the United States forces in Iraq, wrote to the Iraqi government that the American troops would be relocated “to prepare for onward movement.”

“We respect your sovereign decision to order our departure,” he wrote.

But Defense Department officials played down the significance of the letter. “Here’s the bottom line, this was a mistake,” General Mark A. Milley, President Trump’s top military commander, told reporters at the Pentagon during a hastily called press briefing. “It’s a draft unsigned letter because we are moving forces around.”

“There’s been no decision whatsoever to leave Iraq,” Mark T. Esper, the defense secretary, told reporters. “There’s been no decision made to leave Iraq. Period.”

Although the Trump administration has said that the United States killed General Suleimani because he was planning imminent attacks against American interests, there were indications Monday that he may have been leading an effort to calm tensions with Saudi Arabia.

Prime Minister Adel Abdul Mahdi of Iraq said that he was supposed to meet with General Suleimani on the morning he was killed, and that he expected him to bring messages from the Iranians that might help to “reach agreements and breakthroughs important for the situation in Iraq and the region.”

In Washington, two top Senate Democrats urged President Trump early Monday to declassify the administration’s formal notification to Congress giving notice of the airstrike that killed General Suleimani.

Such notification of Congress is required by law, and to classify the entirety of such a notification is highly unusual.

Senator Chuck Schumer of New York, the Democratic leader, and Senator Robert Menendez of New Jersey, the top Democrat on the Foreign Relations Committee, said in a joint statement that it was “critical that national security matters of such import be shared with the American people in a timely manner.”

And Senator Mitch McConnell, the Republican leader, urged Mr. Trump’s critics not to jump to conclusions. “Unfortunately, in this toxic political environment, some of our colleagues rushed to blame our own government before even knowing the facts,” he said.

For its part, Iran simultaneously continued a months-long push against the Trump administration over its demands that Tehran submit to a more restrictive renegotiation of a 2015 accord with the Western powers over its nuclear research. The Trump administration has sought to pressure Iran by devastating its economy with sweeping economic sanctions, which Iranian officials have denounced as economic warfare.

The sanctions set off the cycle of attacks and counterattacks that culminated last week in the killing of General Suleimani. Iran has also responded with carefully calibrated steps away from the deal’s limits on its nuclear program. On Sunday, Iranian officials said that they had now abandoned all restrictions on the enrichment of uranium, though they said they would continue to admit inspectors from the International Atomic Energy Agency.

Amid the emotion of the funeral, some called for vengeance that would remake the region. “Even if we attack all of U.S. bases and even if we kill Trump himself it’s not enough revenge,” Brig. Gen Amir Ali HajiZadeh said at the funeral. “We must totally eliminate all U.S. troops from the region.”

For now, Iranian officials seem to be in no rush to strike back against the United States, possibly enjoying their ability to spread anxiety throughout the West. They seem content to

  • bask in the nationalist surge in their popularity,
  • growing international sympathy and the push to
  • expel the American troops from Iraq.

“I don’t think they want to shift the conversation yet,” said Sanam Vakil, a scholar of Iran at Chatham House, a research center in London.

But for the hard-liners who dominate the Iranian National Security Council, she said, some vigorous retaliation would be the only rational response. “A non-response would appear weak and invite further pressure, creating problems in domestic politics and internationally,” she said.


The Real Reason Why The Narcissist Came Into Your Life

Rough Translation:

so what deeper truths our gnosis is
showing us narcissus enter our lives
pretending to be the answer to what we
need to heal within us that we may not
even be aware of yet and then seize the
foe support and start to smash these
exact parts making the pain so horrific
that the unconscious parts become fully
conscious the narcissus first appeared
to be the savior of our wounds and then
became the messenger of them instead
so let me grant you my own example I
used to suffer greatly from fears of
abandonment and not being valid and seen
or being good enough to be loved this
was deeply unconscious because it was
all I’d ever known as myself and my
reality like many people who are now
statistically abused I was over
functioning and over compensating for my
inner unconscious traumas and I was
really practically capable I seemed
strong and other people would have sworn
that I had it together he had on the
inside I was battling anxiety and
depression which I had to keep very busy
and achieving goals to overcome
naturally because this is how this stuff
I wasn’t gentle tender or supportive
with these inner parts rather I was
constantly self abandoning my inner pain
not making my feelings important at all
and being incredibly self-critical and
demanding and myself and again this was
my version of normal being only way that
I’d ever known to be with myself and it
was exactly what people in my life had
always modeled to me as well it wasn’t
until narcissistic abuse it these parts
that I’ve been surviving and covering
over came screaming to the forefront so
interesting because the narcissus in my
life initially appeared validating and
approving of me as well as claiming a
full commitment to me so they seemed
like they would never abandon me however
things switched and my fears and gaps
were over time attack with full ferocity
I was rapidly and cruelly abandoned and
invalidated and accused of being a
horrible person regularly my story is
your story because in this way our
stories are all pretty much identical we
see the narcissist as the answer to our
wounds often unconsciously we’re not
even realizing it hence the powerful
unexplainable unexplainable logically
bond to them yet their message to us is
to find and heal these wounds within
ourselves when we awaken and we get very
self honest this is how we know there
are parts of ourselves which are
unhealed we’re still sticking around and
frantically trying to make the
narcissist think and do it differently
we’re clinging on to that person trying
to force them to provide us with the
relief of these traumas get the only way
out of the nightmare is to let go of
these people and attend to those parts
that are screaming out for us deeply
within ourselves if we were a whole and
healed source to ourselves it becomes a
clear-cut thing we say I don’t agree
with your work
warped version and me you’re skewered
version of me and I have no need to try
to change you to have a great version of
myself goodbye see you later
and we are thrilled to discover when
that’s really true for us on the inside
and we actualize it we’re thrilled to
discover that we have zero urge for the
narcissus to provide us with ourselves
anymore and the longing desperation and
the missing ends as does the narcissus
power to hook you and hurt you if you
get the any healing job done well enough
and the narcissus becomes totally
irrelevant and whilst you’re becoming a
force of fearless calm power narcissus
let go and they move on with their life
both selves cannot exist in healed and
whole environments no more than germs
cat in a healthy clean environment
there’s nothing for them to feed off and
you may think that this is glib and
unrealistic I promise you it’s not
absolutely there can be complications
with narcissus that need to be unpicked
and sorted such as custody with children
property businesses and all sorts of air
measurements yet no matter how difficult
these challenges are I really want you
to understand that the greatest or most
deadly binds with narcissus are the ones
we’re suffering emotionally through our
wounds when we heal from these all else
can follow myself and thousands of
others have granted the overwhelming