I’m an infj, how do I win over a intj?
INFJs naturally win over INTJs without really trying usually. They both sense depth and uncommon intelligence in each other and yet, when having discussions or sharing ideas, they have differing ways of arriving at usually the same opinion. When opinions differ, they each present sound logic for their conclusions. This is enormously refreshing to the INTJ.
Maybe the better question is, what would an INTJ not like about an INFJ? Based on being an INTJ female with a boyfriend, sister and very good friend all being INFJs, I can tell you the only thing that has ever bugged me is when they get into thought loops that take forever to break out of. It’s usually around a decision that will alter their general routine, like changing jobs or an important aspect of their current job. I look at things as “do what’s in your long term best interest” but an INFJ takes into account the impact to other people just as much if not more than their own interest. But I have also learned to respect their taking their time on such things because they usually make an even better decision than I would have. I just lack the patience for all the ruminating again and again over the same details.
I do appreciate the INFJs perspective on most things so I think the best advice is to be yourself! There’s probably nothing not to like about you and if you have to work at winning someone (of any type) over, then it’s probably not worth it or the lack of connection has everything to do with them and very little to do with you.