Why ‘Self-Identifying’ Is Different From Coming Out
‘‘Self-identified’’ alters the tenor of the outing. Not only does it imply ownership of the identity. It also implies that the person coming out was, under the circumstances, not actually in. He just wasn’t out to you. If you’re self-identified, you might have cultivated a life that’s self-selected, meaning the people aware that you’re gay know because you’ve told them.