What kind of people can INTJs not stand?

  1. The Interrogator. I don’t mind quality conversation and am usually quite happy to answer any questions. There’s a few folks I can think of that turn this dial all the way past 10 and spitfire questions. I can get two words into a response and they interject with another question or two. This goes on, and on, and on… I honestly would prefer to ignore but eventually it turns into “why are you so quiet” or “don’t ignore me!”. Well then, slow it down so I can actually answer you! Some people do this out of excitement, some from nerves/anxiety, and that’s fine. As a way of life though, boy it’s exhausting.
  2. The Time Sieves. This comes in all types of flavors, but the common thread is needlessly carrying on when there’s not more need to continue talking. Typically someone will ask a question, I will give an answer, and now we have to circle back so they can explain why they didn’t know it or were wrong. I tend to nod and somehow this leads to the person further explaining their incorrect reasoning or explanations to why they didn’t know. They had their answer, this is just wasting time at this point. Te, or extroverted thinking, is INTJ secondary cognitive function, and is all about getting things done. The more time we spend discussing why you had the question in the first place is just letting more time slip through all of our fingers. Need an answer? Here it is. Move on.
  3. The Prying Crowbars. This one may come out in a benevolent form from anxiety/nerves, but generally speaking I don’t want to discuss my personal life all the time. It’s in the name of “making conversation” but you don’t need to know my home life, my address, religious or political views etc. when there’s no reason for it. I don’t care to hand someone a bunch of labels to describe myself. Too personal. And I don’t want to hear it either. I’d bet most introverts feel that way, business professional conversation is fine. Why is it such a rarity? Personal stuff is reserved for people close to me, that have been vetted.
  4. The Blowhards, or Fake Experts. Proud of your accomplishments? Take a victory lap! Are you knowledgeable and sharing your wisdom and information? I’d love to hear it! Are you going to take 20 minutes (see time sieve) to explain where you went fishing, what bait you used, and how you caught a fish thiiiiis big? Do you want to show me how you can prove that NASA is incorrect? Do you want to pin all your degrees and awards and medals on MY shirt since you have too many for yours? INTJ leads with introverted intuition, and when you have an opportunity to learn something new in a subject you like, it’s delightful. I want to hear from the experts. If it’s a subject or topic I don’t care about, it’s painfully tedious. INTJ will look to add to their mental library so to speak, and look for new skills and new perspectives. Things like accolades, awards, medals, superfluous degrees, they simply hold little to no value (unless they’re a means to an end). I’m far less interested in what a framed piece of paper says, I want an actual expert opinion.
  5. The Megaphone. The touchy/feely or those with no volume control. If I can hear someone talking from outside the house, they’re talking too loud. If you can’t tell me a story without putting your hand on my shoulder, you’re too close. I like my personal space! A lot of INTJs report getting overwhelmed by intense external stimulus. Large crowds, loud noises, people forced into your personal space, all of these things can be really problematic at times. In contrast sensory deprivation can be incredibly relaxing. I’ve used this trick many times, if I’m feeling overwhelmed about anything in general, I’ll put headphones on, lay on the floor (no windows so for my home the bathroom) and turn the lights off and close my eyes. Just relax and think with nothing but the music. Works as well as an Ativan!

I could probably keep going but let me stop here. I tried to write this as fairly sarcastic and humorous (I hope I made you crack a smile) while still getting the point across. A lot of these are probably applicable to most introverts. These are the ones that stand out to me personally. Basically extroverts are the equivalent to leaving your cars headlights on… draining. I’d love to see the reverse list, what an ENFP can’t stand…