Modesty Culture Part 11: “Others may, we cannot” is a Lie
What if the kid (being intelligent and all) sees someone they love – who may very well be a Christian too – breaking mommy and daddy’s rules?The child might decide that following that legalistic rule is NOT necessary to be a good person or even a good Christian.
And that – make no mistake – would be unthinkable.
That’s why modesty culture proponents have to control friends and family – and school situations. Because the whole house of cards is in danger of falling if a child realizes that good people and good Christians differ on clothing. The thought might occur to them that maybe God doesn’t really expect one to dress in a deliberately counter-cultural manner.
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And this is why, if water is involved, I would rather be (with a very few exceptions) around non-religious friends. Because they haven’t sexualized everything. Because my daughters can just be, without being held up for judgment and either approved or not, depending on the particular personal clothing preferences of the person judging them... This is also why I am extremely uncomfortable with my daughters being around Modesty Culture proponents.
Because I have no confidence that they are teaching their sons to respect women. (See part 4 on “Defrauding” and Rape Culture.) Because I see that they are focused on sex and on appearances, and are not seeing my daughters as people rather than bodies. Because I know – from my wife’s experience – that my daughters will eventually be looked upon as moral threats to the virtue of their sons. Because my daughters will be blamed for their sons’ sexual failings.