As a woman, what is your take on MGTOWs?

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A true believer in genuine gender equality.8mo

It depends on which side of MGTOW (Men going their own way) we’re looking at. You’ve got the blokes who actually get on and live their own lives but just refuse to get married or have long-term relationships. They don’t make a fuss about it and you probably won’t even know that they’re MGTOW (or on that path).

Then you’ve got the other ones that are embittered. They’re often traditional conservative men who just got churned out of a broken traditional relationship.

  • A lot of the bitterness comes from broken traditional marital expectations and often complaints consist of:
    • The woman wasn’t as subordinate as the bloke thought she should be or she left him.
    • He still has to support her financially because he chose a traditional woman who doesn’t work and he resents child support and alimony requirements. He often has to pay more because she can’t earn like more modern leaning women and he’s required to make up the difference.
    • She often retains the house because she doesn’t work and she also gets full custody of the kids because she was the main carer (because she didn’t work in the traditional relationship).
    • He hates solo mothers because his ex-is now a solo mother and he doesn’t want anyone like her because he sees her as ‘used up’ or ‘hit a wall’ even though he did the using up.
    • He’s now only interested in single childless trad-con women only he’s finding out that they’re extremely rare or that they are only interested in other single childless trad-con men. He resents modern women and feminists for being modern women and feminists and for not being a traditional-minded women and thus not valuing him as a traditional man.
    • He finds out that modern women aren’t that interested in him romantically either.

Honestly, a lot of MGTOW is traditional/conservative men on traditional marriage strike – BUT here’s the kicker: They’re blaming and striking out at modern women and feminists for the fact that the MGTOW’s males traditional marriage went tits up and they’re now paying the consequences of choosing a lifestyle (and traditional woman) that modern women and feminists aren’t interested in, don’t participate in and don’t even want.

Some MGTOWs are rage-flipping tables and yelling at everyone that they’re fools if they (traditionally) marry a woman… while not recognising that most people aren’t traditional/conservatives and don’t have that kind of marriage anyway. Modern women and feminists don’t even want to be tradwives or have traditional marriages so MGTOW are stumped a bit when modern women and feminists fail to give a sh!t about what MGTOW refuse to do…

See working women can support themselves so alimony is likely to be significantly less. Working women also share the household tasks and raising of children meaning that there is no main carer so the likelihood of shared custody greatly increases, as does the division of assets (where there’s 50/50 custody). A lot of the major complaints espoused by MGTOW aren’t experienced in modern relationships…

Yeah. It’s a bit of charlie foxtrot. I’ve tried to point out this dichotomy to some MGTOW folk but they’re so far lost down the “EW feminists!” rabbit hole that I kinda gave up. The problem they’ve got with their mistargeting is that nothing will ever change for them because those they target don’t even care about MGTOW.

That’s my (hot)take on MGTOW.

It’s a bit sad but also severely misguided. Until they can step back and see the fundamental flaws in their reasoning, they’ll repeat the same mistakes.

 · 8mo

At least where I am at, there are plenty of women who are happy to have a “traditional” relationship with a man, marry, have kids, all that stuff. This is a conservative, traditionalist part of a conservative country (by world standards), and it’s easy to find what you want in a partner, even if it’s a 1950s-style wife. But…

The problem with a lot of the MGTOW types is that they’re jerks. No woman in their right mind wants to be a “traditional” wife to a jerk who cheats on her, won’t help out with the kids, but expects three hot meals on the table every day.

Kay was a traditional wife. Didn’t mind being one. She grew up in a traditional Southern family and drinks sweet tea out of a tumbler that says “Southern Belle” on it. Her ex-husband was a jerk and Kay ended up being a single mom and career woman when she hadn’t planned on it, and still was when she met her second husband (me) and later married me at 53. Her health doesn’t allow her to work anymore and she is more or less a traditional wife again. But she was single by choice for more than 25 years because even after her divorce, she ran into exactly the type of people you are describing.

 · 8mo

Spot on! I covered that off in this answer which I wrote directly before I wrote the MGTOW one: Why is it hard to find a nice woman with traditional values? and what you say is so true.

The traditional ones are happily married to the traditional men who aren’t jerks.

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John Cate

That one is absolutely correct as well. I’ve run into a few real pieces of work on Quora. One even had the nerve to tell me I shouldn’t have stayed with Kay after she got cancer and was disabled. Sort of spoke volumes as to how that person valued women.

 · 8mo

The embittered ones are so hard to take seriously.

Every time they talk, all I can picture is a little boy taking his ball and going home while saying something about how they’ll all be sorry. Meanwhile all of the other kids are having fun and don’t even notice him leaving.

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 · 8mo

That’s exactly it. A boy.

Most of them never grew up and learned how to be a man.

Women don’t want boys, even ones who are happy being a “traditional” wife. They want men.

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Tzivia Angler

With respect, this is not new. Robert Heinlein – “Prof,” I said, “I know some mighty tall children. Seven to two some are in Party.”
“No bet, cobber.” (THE MOON IS A HARSH MISTRESS)

 · 8mo

I have encountered so many dudes like that on Quora! They go on and on about how women only want men for their money and how women will get the house and such. It’s such a bitter old story, and you’re right. It’s always conservative guys complaining about things that are a result of traditional marr…
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 · 8mo

Yeah, again, it’s really ironic because they blame feminists and modern women for the man’s failed traditional marriage. He married the opposite of a modern-thinking woman but somehow in the heads of MGTOW, we feminists are still to blame for what traditional women do anyway…

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Olesia Bo

they would be right in blaming the modern feminists, though – if not for them their traditional marriage would have worked, as the wife would not have dared to leave…

 · 8mo

I find it interesting that they blame women instead of the patriarchy which created the ideas that make them so miserable.

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Anand Mehta

Smess of doses

 · 8mo

Sadly, the bitter ones don’t go their own way. They continue to make such a big deal going on and on and on about their perceived issues with theoretical women. they obviously haven’t gotten over it and actually gone their own way.

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 · 8mo

They are stuck in an emotional turmoil and have no tools to deal with that in a realistic and pragmatic way. There are women in simelar places too – they just usually understand faster that they need psychological support to solve this problem for themselves.

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Miguel Valdespino

True, but much fewer women take this to violent extremes.

 · 8mo

Ah, yes – the “misery loves company” people of both sexes

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 · 8mo

Loved every word of this answer. Hits the nail. Live your life, no need to put so much hate out there, goes for both men and women 🙂

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Profile photo for Michelle - MAD PIRATE QUEEN

 · 8mo

Right on!!!!!!!!!!!

Why don’t we better celebrate the people “doing things well” and having healthy and inspiring relationships?

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