INTJ’s Special Love Language
.. when an INTJ cares about you, finds you interesting, or feels that you’re important to their life in any way, then we will legitimately make a study of you, no exaggeration. We will observe, question, and study you as an individual, inside and out – who you are, what you like, how you think, how you form opinions, what your opinions are (and why), what your feelings are, what your goals and dreams are, what you want from life, how you’re struggling… everything. We do this because we care about you, find you interesting, and want to be able to understand you better; but we also do it because we want to figure out what your needs are so that we can do a better job of meeting them. (And on this, something important that I need to note here: although many INTJs take this behavior too far (especially young, immature, and male INTJs), I feel compelled to explain that when an INTJ is questioning or challenging your views or opinions, it’s not because we’re just trying to be argumentative, condescending, pretentious know-it-alls (though I have seen some INTJs do this, don’t get me wrong). When we do this, we have three goals: a) to see if you understand what you’re talking about; b) to test your idea against other ideas to see if we can identify a better one; and c), most importantly, because we want to understand where you’re coming from. We want to understand your thought process, how you formed your opinions, what your motivations are, or if we can help you by improving on them a little. If we didn’t care about you or thought your ideas were dumb, then we wouldn’t even bother challenging them to begin with. INTJs do this because they’re curious, and because they care.) Really, when it comes down to it, we just pay very, very close attention to the people we love.