Hey Donald, Got Some More Targets for You ..
Queen Elizabeth: “I kind of remember her when she was younger and thinking, ‘Not bad.’ Not great, mind you, but, eh, you could do worse. But now she’s like 100, with crazy eyes, and she is still flying all over the place and keeping this very lovely Kate Middleton—and I mean this is a lovely, lovely woman, am I right?—from being elected queen. Liz needs to wrap it up, OK? It’s enough already. Her mind is shot. She’s little respected. Just go some place with that geezer and close it down. You know what I’m saying, right? Make the monarchy hot again. Resign!”
Homeless Shelters: “My limo took a wrong turn to get out of Fifth Avenue traffic the other day, and we passed this real ugly, small, sad building on prime real estate. I mean it was grimy, with a bunch of disheveled people out front with blank looks on their faces. So I ask my chauffeur, ‘Hey, whatever your name is, what’s this pathetic waste of space we’re looking at?’ He told me it was a homeless shelter. Wow! I was amazed. I mean, why do we need those in New York? This is the greatest city in the world. You give me that space—and I’ll have 25-story gleaming towers in place there in two seconds—it will be the most beautiful, amazing building you’ve ever seen. It’s not brain surgery, folks. Enough!”