Chaos, crazy making, and drama – a Narcissist’s recipe to always bake up drama to divide and conquer the world!
Narcissists love to create, seed and cultivate their toxic and chaotic drama for the basic reason of CONTROL! Yes, they are into drama and very dramatic because they live in and with so much internal chaos – even as controlled as they may seem to be. Narcissists also create drama as another distorted tool to get supply or draw all of the attention to THEM or also away from them when they need to avoid exposure. It is what they do with this drama because it never achieves anything good and it is used to basically divide and conquer people and keep them confused or to control AND to isolate them.
You can bet the Narcissist is always the go to person or at the center of all chaos and drama but comes out smelling like a rose. The Narcissist I knew was very adept at this and cunning in the manner that they did it (triangulation), but be assured someone or something was being completely destroyed in the process!
My Narcissist would always say that they were like a cat that would land on its feet and also come up smelling like that rose. I always thought that this was very odd to hear because it described a person that knew they did some awful things to people and got away with it and felt proud of the fact that they came out of it unscathed.
.. We all experience rough times but a Narcissist has a natural inclination to make the good and bad into an ugly and chaotic situation or everything is a crisis situation where they go above and beyond what would be deemed as a normal reaction. Remember this too, when they want to really play their games they will even accuse you of things that have no basis of reality to create an argument and a crisis that YOU have to deal with – sort of their chaotic diversion tactic to throw you off base. Their energy will expand in YOUR mind because you basically respond to whatever the crisis situation is and they will pull you into it to deplete your energy by making you respond to the situation or get you hyper involved and stuck in your head trying to use your normal resources to get to some cohesive conclusion where there is NONE.
.. They will also project their own personal chaos and downfalls onto you to free themselves of the shame that lives in them. They really know how to work a situation to get attention, create chaos, blame, and dump some personal shame onto their target! That is the reality of their life – they are human projection machines that have no reality except to source out their externalized needs or find supply.
.. Here is a big eye opener that you must truly internalize – they need you and your energy to be successful at maintaining their façade and achieving supply. They don’t want you to leave them until they want to go, so they go to great lengths to get and keep your attention until they have used you up as well as found another source of supply to replace you. Remember supply to them can be anything that gives them attention negative or positive so long as it supports that façade! I use to ask my Narcissist if I was so horrid WHY NOT LEAVE – but my Narcissist kept coming back with that little bit of love bombing, more lies and fake promises because they hadn’t found a replacement yet (well many side ones but none that stuck).
.. A Narcissist WILL try to please you, but the nice things they do always have a huge cost and a motive. They play the saint or martyr that keeps score, and just when you think everything is okay, BAM they get you one more time, and then one more and one more until there are so many levels of this chaos that you are lost/isolated within their debilitating pathology. Their modus operandi is to sabotage you while they look innocent.
.. They will make up excuses with the most ambiguous details or justifications when it comes to accountability and then sulk and act like a victim if you get upset meanwhile they have betrayed you in some form or fashion that you aren’t aware of. They will conveniently lose items, forget dates, miss deadlines, ruin plans, and then become sad and withdrawn because they have tried so very hard when they have done nothing but be irresponsible, tricked you and then they blame you as not understanding, etc. This is just more of their crazy making and chaos! Add to this the outright lies, the cruel behavior, the betrayal, the raging temper and there you have it – a Narcissist that means to create chaos and crazy making to manage you down to nothingness.