Brett Kavanaugh was a model youngster. Bart O’Kavanaugh was not.

It is too bad that his live-in doppelganger, Bart O’Kavanaugh, was not. But perhaps that was the only way things could have been. Brett was so complete in his purity that he once healed a junior’s hangover with merely a touch of his hand. On the single occasion he attended a party, Brett turned the keg to water and gave everyone fish-and-loaf snacks.

.. Bart never said much. He mainly communicated by downing kegs. One keg meant yes; three kegs could mean anything. Brett was half in awe and half terrified of him.