I am in tears at the end of this. My Father told me when I was 14 he was leaving my mother. I immediately looked right at him and said: “What have you been waiting for?” I meant it 100%- I had always seen as long as I could remember how unhappy they were and particularly how ashamed he acted of her. I have only seen a few of your videos but the things you just said basically described my life. I have been growing more isolated in the past 4 or 5 years (I’m 37). I used to be very extroverted but also drank a lot but now I find myself needing to be alone more and more. I am a truth teller for sure. I feel cursed by it sometime- I was in a situation today where being fake would have benefited me and the person I was speaking too but I just could not do it. I am Increasingly more and more isolated from my family and just people in general it seems. My mother is re married to a pedophile but she enables him to continue doing what he does. I found child porn on their computer years ago and she has gone as far to accuse me of planting it on his computer. I took the issue to the police but ultimately I had not seen enough of the videos to allow them to issue a warrant for the hard drive and at that point it was up to my mother to hand over the property because technically its her computer but he mostly uses it. I am the only person out of me, my brother, and father (who is actually better friends then ever with my mom now) who will actually confront my mother about this issue. I want to Thank You for sharing this information on YouTube- I consume too much mindless content on the tube but what you do is actually helpful and intended to be so. Thank You Dr Ramani. I had never heard of ‘the truth teller’ but I identify with this role for sure- when I was 18 I got the word ‘honesty’ tattooed on my leg. I wanted it to be for me so its written upside down and backward. It was an impulsive thing and I don’t have many tattoos nor the desire for more. I had always wondered about why I felt so strongly about having that word tattooed on me and hearing this I can’t help and think about everything I saw in my family situation and being more or less disgusted or repulsed by knowing things were always going to be like this. I love my family and I see my brother suffering in particular and want to be able to help him but I get physically back physically close to them and some of the realities of the conditions they accept are just too much for me to not say something about. I am usually always trying to help but it is never received that way.
One of the best lines I ever heard in AA meetings was: “I grew up in an insane asylum called an alcoholic household.” It appears I was a Scapegoat and eventually a Truthteller. After my mother died I eventually broke off all contact with my psychopathic (or maybe simply narcissistic) sisters. Life has slowly been becoming more peaceful and even a little serene.
Thank you for your videos 🙂
Overcoming the Role of Scapegoat
Are you the family scapegoat? Do you feel like you don’t belong in your family, your marriage, your workplace? Jerry Wise describes the difficult life of a scapegoat and ways we can recover and heal from years of being scapegoated. Jerry Wise Life and Relationship Coach for 40+ years is known for helping his clients and viewers respond in difficult situations with liberating responses using a family systems approach. Jerry was a pastor, priest, Bishop for several years. He also has a Masters degree in pastoral psychology. If you would like to learn how to recover from your role as a Scapegoat…contact Jerry Wise and his team.
What do narcissists do to truth tellers? (Narcissistic Family Roles)
The Hollywood Conspiracy of Silence
It’s nearly impossible to believe the big stars who say they didn’t know about Harvey Weinstein’s revolting acts.
Accepting the 2005 Oscar he won for gaining a few pounds and being tortured in Syriana, George Clooney made the case for Hollywood as America’s moral conscience:
.. How can Clooney, Meryl Streep, and their peers continue to claim America’s moral high ground when they simply shrugged at what was going on with their pal Harvey Weinstein?
.. Pitt had once threatened to give Weinstein a “Missouri whooping” after the producer sexually harassed his then-girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow in the 1990s.
.. Another Ocean’s buddy, Matt Damon, personally called up Sharon Waxman, then a New York Times reporter, to intercede against a story that would have been unflattering to Weinstein.
.. Did Damon also never talk to Pitt on the set of the Ocean’s movies? Or on the set of The Departed, which Pitt produced and Damon starred in? Or maybe in between takes on Happy Feet 2, in which Pitt and Damon played a zany pair of gay crustaceans?
.. Entertainment reporters, tending to be both a) in awe of their subjects and b) unschooled in Washington-style spot-the-loophole weasel talk, haven’t quite nailed down what either of them knew.
.. “I did five or six movies with Harvey. I never saw this. I think a lot of actors have come out and said, everybody’s saying we all knew. That’s not true. This type of predation happens behind closed doors, and out of public view.” “I’ve never seen any of this behavior — ever,” Clooney told The Daily Beast.
.. Of course Damon and Clooney never saw the misbehavior. When Weinstein wants a tête-à-tête with Ashley Judd in his bathrobe, Damon and Clooney aren’t going to be invited along. The question is, did they know what Weinstein was up to?
.. “I had no idea that it had gone to the level of having to pay off eight women for their silence, and that these women were threatened and victimized.” The comment seems to be limited to “these women” — the eight who were paid off. Like a politician, Clooney is answering a question nobody asked. Did he know Weinstein was inviting actresses to business meetings that turned into bedroom meetings that turned into sexual overtures with career implications?
.. Could news of such revolting acts really never have reached Clooney’s ears? It seems more likely that Clooney was part of a conspiracy of silence.
.. Movie Clooney is very interested in exposing the pernicious actions of oil companies (Syriana), chemical companies (Michael Clayton), TV hucksters (Money Monster), McCarthyism (Good Night, and Good Luck), and the masterminds of the first Gulf War (Three Kings). Real-life Clooney plugs his ears when people in Hollywood gossip about a subject that has evidently been a hot topic of conversation since Pauly Shore was considered a movie star. Weinstein’s habits were such an open secret they were joked about on 30 Rock and at an Oscar press conference.
.. Power, to Streep, is someone like Weinstein, someone who could cast her or not cast her, possibly even influence the hiring decisions of others. And Weinstein’s skill in campaigning for Oscars is unparalleled. He was widely credited for winning her a third Oscar for The Iron Lady, notably by Streep herself, who said in her acceptance speech, “I want to thank God — Harvey Weinstein.”
.. The message could hardly be more clear to them that Weinsteinian behavior is simply the price that must be paid.
.. “Evans wanted to be an actress, and although she had heard rumors about Weinstein she let him have her number.” Would Streep have us believe that aspiring actresses still in college knew more about industry players than she did?
.. Think of all of the hundreds of actresses, and thousands of other industry people, Streep has worked with over the years. None of this ever came up?
.. For Clooney or Damon or Pitt or Streep to pick up a phone and call a reporter to speak about Harvey Weinstein’s predatory behavior all these years would have taken a minimal amount of guts. It could have cost them gigs, or awards. The Weinstein debacle has implicated more or less everyone in Hollywood who knew about the abhorrent behavior and remained silent, which must mean just about everyone in Hollywood.
From now on the leading Hollywood personalities deserve nothing but derision when they pretend to be courageous truth-tellers. They are neither.