The Republican’s Guide to Presidential Etiquette

Republicans used to care a lot about how a president comports himself, and whether he acts at all times with the dignity his station demands.

“Is President Obama Disrespecting the Oval Office?” Fox News asked in 2010, with a link to images of Mr. Obama and his aides tossing a football, or eating apples just inches from the Resolute desk.

“Wear a suit coat and tie,” said Andrew Card Jr., President George W. Bush’s former chief of staff, in reaction to pictures of Mr. Obama in shirtsleeves in 2009.

“I do expect him to send the message that people who are going to be in the Oval Office should treat the office with the respect that it has earned over history,” Mr. Card said.

 .. Pick nominees to the federal bench who call a sitting Supreme Court justice a “judicial prostitute” and refer to transgender children as part of “Satan’s plan”
.. Campaign hard for a Senate candidate; then when he appears likely to lose, say “I might have made a mistake” and later delete your tweets supporting him
.. Behave so erratically and irresponsibly that senators of your own party resort to saying you’re treated like someone at “an adult day-care center” to keep you from starting World War III

.. Spend one of every three days as president visiting at least one of your own properties.. Publicly and privately humiliate your own attorney general for recusing himself from an investigation into your campaign

.. Say nothing when a foreign leader’s bodyguards brutally attack peaceful protesters in the streets of Washington, D.C.

.. Tweet GIFs of yourself violently attacking the mediaand your former political opponent

.. Encourage police officers not to be “too nice” when apprehending criminal suspects

.. Help draft a misleading statement about the purpose of a meeting between your son, other top campaign aides and representatives of a rival foreign power intent on interfering in the election

.. Deliver a speech to the Boy Scouts of America that includes mockery of a former president and winking references to sexual orgies, and then lie by claiming that the head of that organization called and told you it was the best speech ever delivered in Boy Scout history

.. Hang a framed copy of a fake Time magazine cover celebrating your business acumen in your golf clubs around the world

Mock a female television anchor’s appearance, saying the anchor was “bleeding badly from a face-lift” at a holiday gathering at your private resort

Force your cabinet members to take turns extolling your virtues in front of television cameras

.. Welcome into the Oval Office a man who threatened to assassinate your predecessor, whom he called a “subhuman mongrel,” and who referred to your political opponent as a “worthless bitch”

.. Continue to deny that Russia attempted to influence the presidential election, despite the consensus of the American intelligence community — and yet also blame your predecessor for not doing anything to stop that interference
.. Pardon a former sheriff who was convicted of criminal contempt of court for refusing to obey the law
.. Continue to repeat, with admiration, a false story about an American military general committing war crimes
.. Mock the mayor of a world city for his careful, sober response to a terrorist attack
.. Tell Americans that a march of torch-carrying white supremacists and neo-Nazis includes “some very fine people” — and when one of those marchers murders a peaceful counterprotester, condemn violence on “both sides”
.. Run an administration whose ethical standards have, in the words of the federal government’s top ethics enforcer, made the United States “close to a laughingstock”
.. Admit to trying to intimidate a key witness in a federal investigation

Profit off the presidency, accepting millions of dollars from foreign government officials, businesses, politicians and other supporters who pay a premium to patronize your properties and get access to you — while also attempting to hide the visitor lists at some of those properties from the public

Promise to drain the swamp, then quietly grant ethics waivers to multiple former industry lobbyists who want to work in your administration

.. Tell a lie, on average, more than five times a day

.. Call for criminal investigations of your former political opponent, seven months after winning the election

.. Appoint your family wedding planner to head a federal housing office

.. Shove aside a fellow head of state at a photo-op
.. Delegitimize federal judges who rule against you
.. Fire the F.B.I. chief in the middle of his expanding investigation into your campaign and your associates
.. Accuse a former president, without evidence, of an impeachable offense
.. Employ top aides with financial and otherconnections to a hostile foreign power.. Demand personal loyalty from the F.B.I. director
.. Threaten the former F.B.I. director.. Accept foreign payments to your businesses, in possible violation of the Constitution
.. Occupy the White House with the help of a hostile foreign power
.. Allow White House staff members to use their personal email for government business

.. Claim, without evidence, that millions of people voted illegally.. Fail to fire high-ranking members of your national security team for weeks, even after knowing they lied to your vice president and exposed themselves to blackmail

Refuse to release tax returns

Hide the White House visitors’ list from the public

 .. Criticize specific businesses for dropping your family members’ products
.. Review and discuss highly sensitive intelligence in a restaurant, and allow the Army officer carrying the “nuclear football” to be photographed and identified by name
.. Hire relatives for key White House posts, and let them meet with foreign officials and engage in business at the same time
.. Collude with members of Congress to try to shut down investigations of you and your associates
.. Compare the U.S. intelligence community to Nazis
.. Share highly classified information with a hostile foreign power without the source’s permission
.. Lie