WV Trooper Walks in House and Demands to be Sued

This morning I received multiple links and copies of this video that’s been circulating, showing a West Virginia State Trooper, in what appears to be inside a family’s home without a warrant. Apparently it was originally posted to Tik Tok, and then removed for some reason. It appears to involve a police response to a church traffic cone, which resulted in the homeowner apparently banging on the church’s door at some point. This trooper shows up, walks in the guy’s home, admittedly without a warrant, and without permission. Then the trooper makes a move on the phone, followed by some sort of altercation at the end. Here’s the video, then I’ll address some legal issues which I see.

Is a warrant required? If not, is there an applicable exception?

Citations and law at the link:

Comment

That right there is a prime example why qualified immunity should not exist.

 

You can see what the problem is, this trooper doesn’t care about being sued because it won’t come out of his pocket. We need to change that… also he doesn’t think he will ever lose his job for doing this, he thinks the blue line will back him up…. We need to change that

 

Remember he acted this way knowing he was being recorded! Can only imagine what he’s done when not being recorded
This Trooper not only needs to be terminated and never work as a law enforcement officer again he also needs to be charged with the appropriate crimes and prosecuted. His lack of self control is a danger to citizens as well as his fellow law enforcement officers. My bet is this Trooper has a long list of complaints against him. Probably some pretty interesting body camera recordings in this guys history as well. A good start would be a public records request for this Troopers IA summary and then go from there.
I am a retired cop and I can tell you this, he broke the law. He has no business serving the public, he is a danger to his co workers and the public. I hope this homeowner pursues both criminal a civil action. If I knew where to donate money to see this coward dealt with I would. I am speechless… Sick man. If he entered my house like that he would be leaving in a body bag! Says he stated his name and badge number, he only stated his name and couldn’t even do that in a discernible way. CIVIL RIGHTS LAWYER PLEASE KEEP US POSTED.
This is every cop in the whole state of west va…… I was born there…. I grew up there…. I left there 15 years ago because I got real tired of fighting corrupt murderous police…. They do what they want, when they want and there is nothing u can do about it…. U can sue a department and 15 mins after the trial is over the cop is on the sidewalk outside the courthouse whaling on you with a nightstick screaming stop resisting….. u can sue the same department over the same officer multiple times and they don’t get fired…. They don’t get reprimanded…. Nothing happens to them…… they will break into your house, shoot and kill you (like they have 3 members of my family), they will take their 15 days paid leave and be right back on the street with no fear of anything actually happening to them
That officer is completely unhinged. If yelling puts him on tilt this bad he’s definitely in the wrong business.
This state trooper is a criminal who deliberately breaks the law and believes that the law does not apply to him. He should not only be dismissed but also imprisoned. He is a permanent danger to society.
Imagine the audacity of telling someone in their home they aren’t going to raise their voice to you .
“I walked in your house because I don’t want to get shot.” WTF. This officer is a danger to the public. How the hell do these cops think they can behave this way? Enough.
This “officer” needs to be criminally charged. He forces his way into another’s house with no legal grounds, threatens the homeowners, and attacks them. He should be charged with at least trespass, assault, and battery in addition to the civil suit.
Whenever a citizen points out to a cop he’s breaking the law, why does he always respond “I’m not playing this game?” Suddenly TAKING PEOPLE’S FREEDOM AWAY IS A GAME.
They will protect this cop. A judge will say that they didn’t tell him to leave strong enough and he was in fear for his safety. The judges, cops, and prosecutors all work together (along with some public defenders). The corruption is so thick.
If a citizen couldn’t defend themselves with a weapon in a situation like this, the 2nd amendment is useless.
this trooper obviously has anger and rage issues! not only was this guy’s rights violated, he also assaulted him! if there were broken bones involved, then i believe that makes it felonious assault!
“We have investigated ourselves and – as usual and as expected – have found no wrongdoing.” – Every Police Force in America
If only the police unions were the ones paying… not the taxpayers.
He lost it, let his ego control every stupid word that he spouted ! If this is how he can behave on camera in someone else’s home , imagine when there’s no camera or witnesses 😳 absolutely dangerous to the public. Needs counseling anger management and fired ! Lawsuit will be paid by the taxpayers, we need to abolish qualified immunity for all government positions PERIOD!🤙🏼✌💜
When an officer enters a home by himself, without a warrant, and without your permission…#1 he is NOT scared of getting shot #2 it’s perfectly reasonable to assume that he is there for no good, possibly to rob you #3 He wants you to react in the same way that any one else would act towards an intruder so that he can use it as an excuse to beat you up or shoot you.
His name was Trooper Wiseman! please spread the word. we as citizens need to speak up against this tyrant and not sit idly by.
“You came down here, pounding on the Church door. Acting like a fool.” – Oh the irony
It’s clear by the cops actions that he knows it’s unlikely he’ll be disciplined or that being sued will result in any personal damages. When law enforcement operate with impunity in this way, after the fact law suits and case law become irrelevant, as do any protections a constitution is supposed to bring. When such behaviour including intimidation, physical violence and an inherent threat to life are in process, the only reasonable response to these actions by the state, is the threat of deadly force by the home owner and their agents, without fear of retaliation. This is why for true freedom to exist, the integrity of the home and the sanctuary it brings must be paramount to any and all actions by law enforcement other than (perhaps) those pursuant to the immediate preservation of life.
I find it amazing with the media coverage including social media that gets these type scenarios out in the public and thousand see them, that they continue to occur. Surely LEO management see and know this stuff is happening? Are the hapless to prevent it? Are they indifferent to preventing it because “its part of doing business” or we are too dumb to learn different? What’s going to happen when people have had the “collective enough”?
I love the fact that he says, good go sue. He is admitting that he knows it illegal to enter the home. What a dangerous trooper! Please bring this video to light in his county, he needs to be fired and charged.
This cop is the definition of a power tripping cop. Let’s hope the home owner gets a very large settlement both against the police and the individual.
IMO the other deputy is just as guilty for not stepping up and attempting to calm the situation down or tell his partner to chill out. Just hanging back while these people were assaulted and treated like dirt says a lot about him as well . He’s a little coward! I wonder if he purposely stayed in the doorway, not actually stepping foot inside, because he knew it was illegal and didn’t wanna get into trouble for entering.
This is exactly the type of person who seeks this profession, someone who craves harassing people. Working under his own rules and couldn’t care less about the law or their policy. After exposing this clown this should be immediate termination!
Here’s my question and I think it is a important one. Presuming that the law enforcement officer in this situation is either a city cop or a state trooper: could you and should you call the county sheriff to make a criminal report of breaking and entering and assault ? It seems to me that it would be a legitimate claim and it would have to be handled just like any other assault or B&E and the county sheriff would be obligated to follow due process. Even if it was within the city limits it’s still County jurisdiction. I really hope you answer this because I think it is really important to understand if citizens have another course of action rather than the police simply investigating themselves.

 

  • they always “Investigate” themselves and find no wrong doing.. like gang members ALL law enforcement will defend their own even knowing they were wrong..
  •  @scott cochran  that is precisely why I think it should be reported to the elected Sheriff if it is an actual crime situation. The sheriff is elected and traditionally is a little more in touch and accountable to the locals.
When it gets to the point where police are too fearful to do their job effectively they must be removed from their position.
  • This cop wasn’t scared for one second
  • The problem is they fear nothing. There is never any consequences for their behavior! Worse case they get a paid vacation for bad behavior!
  • The officer literally stated he was worried he was going to be shot as justification to violate his 4th amendment rights.
In general, you need to state your rights.* I don’t consent to any searches or seizures.- 4th Amendment* * I don’t answer questions officers- 5th Amendment.* Cops will still do what they’re going to do but you will have a stronger case in court to win your settlement.
When rogue cops are illegally detaining, assaulting or  brutalizing innocent citizens like this, any companions of the victim and other  people who are observing the incident underway should IMMEDIATELY video AND shout out to let the cops know that they will LOSE THEIR QUALIFIED IMMUNITY IN COURT AND THEY WILL BE PERSONALLY SUED ALONG WITH THE CITY,  AND RISK GOING TO PRISON FOR THEIR CRIMINAL ACTIONS AND VIOLATIONSOF CIVIL RIGHTS!!
See also for example the police murder of  Luke Stewart. Since it is TAX DOLLARS that ALWAYS fund and payout these absurd ( not union or pension funds unfortunately) and massive  law suits to the  aggreived parties, all citizens have the right and duty to express their LOUD  anger and disapproval of any observed  illegal conduct , excessive violence and abuses police  flagrantly and  openly  committ in public.
The reality is that cops are broadly given too much protection from unions; they don’t act consistently lawful, and masses of cops have improper training or often fail to use effective  de-escalation tactics when the circumstances warrant  and doing so is clearly  appropriate. Another example: one man who was a counselor for a young austistic boy went searching for him when cops showed up. Even though the man got down on the ground with hands open and arms spread the cops shot him multiple time with no legal justification. The cop afterwards directly stated he didn’t  know why he shot the law-abiding citizen!?!🤔🤨🙄
It was also a gross error and dereliction of duty for former President Obama to merely dole out billions in surplus military equipment to police departments all around the nation. https://inthesetimes.com/features/obama_police_miltary_equipment_ban.html
This cop came and created more crime than what he was there for and demeanored these people as if they were animals in their home. Then assaults the man and makes him bow down to his illegal authority.
This is what happens when steroid abuse is allowed to run rampant in police departments. It’s absolutely disgusting. I hope they sue and win and I hope this unhinged officer is arrested and charged.
For a trooper who is “not gonna let you shoot me”, he’s doing everything he can to get shot.
the officer stated explicitly that his concern allowing his entry without a warrant was based on his concern that firearms might be used against him. I.E. his illegal entry was a precautionary weapons search inside the house – without a warrant or probable cause. Give the cop a Uvalde award and fire him, and yes, sue the hell out of him.
After having my rights violated I called a dozen lawyers and after hours of time wasted none have called back like they said .the cops came to my home on a tip that someone in my home may have a warrant and tried to enter my home without a search warrant until I told them they couldn’t enter and they never told me who they were looking for then demanded my ID and I said why do you suspect me of a crime and I refused to give them it they were going to arrest me for interfering in their investigation cuffed me and placed me in a hot police car for 30 minutes while they ran the ID of the 2 girls that were in my home we all came back cleane but they didn’t release me for about 10 more minutes
The officer was afraid the guy had a gun so he followed him into his house? Ya, that makes all the sense in the world. When I fear for my life I also follow people that I don’t know into places that I’m unfamiliar with too.
Somehow, I see an unhappy ending to Trooper Wiseman’s career in law enforcement. His uncontrollable rage coupled with his possession of a loaded firearm; his unlawful entry into a home, physical assault on two individuals in the invaded home . . . Look for a federal indictment and conviction before Christmas. Too many people have seen the video for there to be anything other than criminal charges for this crazy acting cop. He has brought humiliation, scorn, distrust, dishonor and disgrace to his agency, a mortal sin for any cop.
That trooper is the EXACT reason that so called “good cops” get assaulted, battered, injured and killed by citizens. His personal anger, lack of respect for the constitution that he swore to uphold, contempt for citizens and belief that his personal feelings and desires are overwhelmingly more important than anything or anyone else is shockingly vivid. I wonder how many people he had arrested for “raising their voice to him”? If he has not yet, he will kill someone in the line of duty for some perceived disrespect and blame it on safety. He needs to lose his certification and never be employed in law enforcement ever again.
John, this cop is par for the course; Condescending, threatening, and violent. Then this cop shows considerable distain for the fourth amendment of the constitution, once again par for the course. I did see a camera but I didn’t see any light notifying us that it was rolling if he truly had one and it wasn’t some SHINee button so he can claim that he has a body camera. Considering how easily police are able to lie to us I would not be so confident in his response.
To the cops in this video: You should go to the church and ask them to move the traffic cone instead of unlawfully entering the house of an innocent family’s home, falsely accusing them of a weapon, and assault.
How convenient of this trooper to record himself violating this man’s 4th Amendment right by illegally entering his home without permission to do so and without a warrant. This body cam video – if it doesn’t mysteriously “disappear” once a lawsuit is filed – will come in handy in the federal civil rights lawsuit that I hope this man files. I wonder how the trooper arrogantly and belligerently inviting the victim/plaintiff to sue him will be received by any judge or jury who might this video during a trial? I know how I would view it.
My goodness, this cop must be on a power trip from hell. I almost feel sorry for him for being in such a mental state that he’s in. He would totally lose it if he lived in a blue state where pot is normalized. He must really hate himself. He’s dangerous!
“Do not raise your voice to me”. Does that sound familiar to anyone? Omg scary as fkc. Can tell he is already unhinged. Can’t risk talking to them. Remain silent, tell them to leave.
The corruption starts with the judges, DA’s, attorneys and law enforcement. Judges and DA’s are the real problem that’s why the cops act without conscious and consequence.
Imagine this; you have in the neighborhood you live in growing up as a kid these parents (judge and DA) that have these bully kids (cops) , and a older brother (chief of police) who’s “seems” like the descent one of the brothers, that terrorize the other kids(citizens) in the neighborhood. But everyone is afraid to fight against the bullies (cops) because you’ll get your ass kicked so you go to the older brother (Police Dept. Chief of Police) “Hey your brothers (cops) are real bullies they’re fucking with everyone and me!” The older brother (chief of police) says “I’ll give them a good talking to and if they keep it up I’ll even tell mom (DA) and dad (Judge) about it(internal investigation) he(chief of police) talks to his brothers(cops) and still the bully brothers (cops) don’t stop harassing the kids(citizens) in the neighborhood so finally the parents of the neighborhood have had enough, they go to the parents (Judge and DA) house(court) and complain about their kids(cops) and to the surprise of the parents of the kids (citizens) that are getting bullied, the parents (DA and the Judge) of the bullies (cops) declare this will be a in house matter and their bully kids (cops)will be dealt with. Then you later find out as punishment they only got time out but continue to be able to enjoy their privileges(qualified immunity) so where was the punishment? And that is how the American Justice system works. The corruption starts from the head down. Judges, DA’s and (chief of police and police stations, public defenders all go hand in hand. There are public defenders that are in league with these corrupt officials on making deals, now that’s something to think about. Let’s get rid of public immunity and have the cops pay out of pocket. As tempting as it is to go after the big monetary prize we to instead go after the cops personally and their livelihood yes it will be considerable less money but they will never work in law enforcement and at best will be flipping burgers for the rest of their lives while losing everything. First have a camera then in order to strip a cop down of his qualified immunity you have to let them know what they are doing is illegal and is this the policy of the police department and name a precedence of a court case that goes against what they are doing and advice them that they will lose their qualified immunity if they continue in this wrongful manner and if they do; You got them and their livelihood.

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Narcissist, SocioPath, or Psychopath?: How to Recognize the Distinctions

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Narcissism and Its Discontents | Ramani Durvasula | TEDxSedona

Narcissism has not only become a normalized social condition, it is increasingly being incentivized. The framework of narcissism with the central pillars of lack of empathy, entitlement, grandiosity, superficiality, anger, rage, arrogance, and shallow emotion is a manifestation of pathological insecurity – an insecurity that is experienced at both the individual and societal level. The paradox is that we value these patterns – and venerate them through social media, mainstream media, and consumerism, they represent a fast-track to financial and professional success. These traits are endemic in political, corporate, academic, and media leaders. There are few lives which are not personally touched by narcissists – be it your spouse, partner, parent, child, colleague, boss, friend, sibling, or neighbor. Whether societally or individually, the toxic wave of narcissism, entitlement, and pathological insecurity is harming us all. The enticements of charm, charisma, confidence, and success can draw us in or blind us to the damaging truths of narcissism. The invalidation inherent in these relationships infects those are in them with self-doubt, despair, confusion, anxiety, depression and the chronic feeling of being “not enough,” all of which make it so difficult to step away and set boundaries. The illusion of hope and the fantasy of redemption can result in years of second chances for narcissists, and despondency when change never comes. It’s time for a wake-up call. Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from a life may have a far greater benefit to both physical and psychological health than going to the gym. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls. Instead of habituating to the global shift of validating narcissism and other toxic patterns, it’s time to understand it and take our lives back. Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012. She is also a Visiting Professor at the University of Johannesburg.

today I am going to talk about the most
overused misunderstood problematic words
of our time a phenomenon a word that is
shaping all of our destinies that word
is narcissism narcissism is a word that
is being used to understand bad behavior
everywhere in national leaders in heads
of state heads of corporations fancy
academic types athletes celebrities we
actually no longer recoil at their
grandiosity their entitlement and their
incivility in fact too many people award
them grudging admiration for their
successes and that grants permission to
everyone to replicate these abusive
patterns of behavior with impunity now
things got confusing when people started
using narcissism as a clinical term it
became a way of medicalizing bad
behavior it’s actually not a diagnostic
term narcissistic personality disorder
is a diagnosis but it’s pretty rare
because these folks don’t show up to be
diagnosed anyhow so narcissism is in
fact a personality pattern it’s a sort
of way of relating to the world it’s an
adjective to describe their style much
like you could describe someone as
agreeable or stubborn or introverted
some of these patterns are valued by
society and others aren’t and the fact
is most people don’t receive being
called narcissistic as a compliment it’s
just however a descriptive term and no
matter how much we turn our noses up at
it paradoxically as a society we reward
it dr. Alan Francis was one of the
architects of the diagnosis of
narcissistic personality disorder and he
argues that we actually give badly
behaved jerks and out when we call it a
diagnosis if a person is a jerk then
they’re a jerk disliking a pattern of
behavior doesn’t make it a mental
illness that so-called jerk has to be
experiencing problems in their lives
and for their narcissism to actually be
considered a diagnosis
so if we were to cobble together all the
various things that make up narcissism
we land on a very uncomfortable summit
narcissism is comprised of certain
pillars as I call them

  • lack of empathy
  • grandiosity
  • entitlement
  • superficiality
    admiration and
  • validation seeking
  • hypersensitivity rage and a
  • tendency to manipulate and exploit people

it’s confusing because they’re simultaneously
under responsive they tend to be
emotionally aloof cold and distant but
then they’re hyper responsive they have
hair-trigger temper that set off like
that when their fragile egos get
threatened so narcissism however I
believe is synonymous with pathological
insecurity the key to understanding the
narcissist is that they feel constantly
unstable and empty their grandiosity is
actually an immature defense against
these threats to them their sense of
self and they’re desperate for the world
to keep validating them on their good
days they look happy they’re great
they’re grandiose but on the bad days
the facade crumbles quickly and we see
disproportionate rage shame and
vindictiveness I became interested in
narcissism through a couple of different
pathways but the most striking was the
fact that more and more clients were
coming into my office and talking about
relationships in which their partners
treated them with utter disregard
indifference coldness they lacked
empathy they would question their
reality they would lie to them at times
they were unfaithful they were
inconsistent and no matter what they
tried with their partner it didn’t get
better at the same time I started
working with more narcissistic clients
and would you know nothing we tried
really made things better in fact they
just remain difficult people and I don’t
think I’m not bad a therapist so it was
clear that these relationships were
being kept in place simultaneously by
hope and fear hope that someday it would
get better if they kept trying harder
but fear that if they left these
relationships they would be alone
forever without
partner or even without a mother and
some of them had the fear that maybe
this is as good as it gets the world has
become more insecure and the reasons for
that are varied galip’s annual global
emotions report said that in 2017 was
the most miserable in about a decade the
report indicated that sadness anger
worry stress and physical pain were more
frequently endorsed last year than in
the ten years prior
now Gallup speculated on a variety of
reasons for this but let’s pitfall for a
minute could it be that this increase in
misery could reflect the increase in
insecurity incivility and tolerance of
narcissism our world supports the
increasing insecurity in our world and
the platforms that capitalize on it such
as consumerism have created optimal
fertile ground for narcissism to
incubate and proliferate when human
value is driven entirely by external
incentives such as success then
qualities such as empathy do not have a
fighting chance because we no longer
value them and they’re no longer
valuable so why do we get pulled into
these relationships
we’re not flocking to narcissism because
we love emotional coldness or
invalidation or shallow people
we’re drawn in because narcissism is
seductive I call it the three C’s of narcissism

  1. charm
  2. charisma and
  3. confidence

that’s not to say that all charming and
charismatic people are narcissistic
however we do know that these traits are
so seductive that we get drawn in and
they can blind us to the more venomous
characteristics that are unfolding at
the same time such as entitlement
vindictiveness or lack of empathy so
then once a person is in a relationship
and it’s uncomfortable and is painful
why would they stay with a narcissist
all of us are vulnerable to those
narcissistic charms and in fact we may
be rendered even more vulnerable to
sticking around for the abuse by a
narcissist if we originated from family
systems in which the patterns of
narcissism were normalized such as
having a cold authoritarian
distant invalidating or abusive parents
our own insecurities render us
vulnerable and also less able to climb
out when the climate shifts from charm
and charisma to invalidation and abuse
most of us are great at giving second
chances and second chances are in fact
the accelerant for narcissism at all
levels when we are in a narcissistic
relationship we make excuses that’s just
how he is he didn’t really mean that she
means well ah that’s just her culture
and there’s the rub that’s how this
infectious virus of being in any form of
narcissistic relationship whether with
an individual or a family or a company
or a culture can slowly proliferate and
take over most of us issue second
chances with zeal our storytelling in
our culture is immersed in tales of hope
redemption and forgiveness and while
that’s all very healthy in the wrong
hands hope and forgiveness may not
represent an opportunity for growth or
change or restoration but rather
permission to just keep things going as
they are because with narcissists
forgiveness is interpreted as hey let’s
just keep the status quo have we created
a world in which narcissism as a pattern
as a personality is becoming necessary
to succeed in the new world order this
is where we hit a bit of a problematic
divide the very qualities associated
with material success are actually bad
for our health because while these
qualities may be festered and fostered
by our cultures and our schools and our
economies and our societies they are
never going to be good for our close
relationships and that doesn’t just mean
spouses and partners that means parents
children siblings extended family
friends colleagues narcissistic patterns
undercut the core of what’s necessary
for healthy relationships those things
include mutuality respect compassion
patience genuineness honesty and trust
things that are simply not possible with
the system or a person which is
narcissistic and it’s in that intimate
relationship space where we see the most
profound impacts of a narcissist what
did that be a spouse or a partner a
relationship with a narcissist is a
gradual indoctrination you slowly become
inured to their lack of empathy though
Tantrums their rage their insults and
their entitlement their lies and their
challenges to your reality they’re
insulting words slowly become your
self-talk and before you know it your
new mantra becomes I am not enough
anyone who’s had a narcissistic parent
will acknowledge that it shaped the arc
of their lives it instilled an
insecurity in a chronic jousting at
psychological windmills from an early
age narcissistic parents leave a legacy
including an inability to trust your own
instincts to safely enter close
relationships to trust your own
abilities and a lifetime can be spent
trying to gain the notice of the aloof
detached and disconnected parent the
proliferation of narcissism and
leadership in our culture governments
companies and world has made very
difficult workplaces the narcissistic
boss is the insecure tyrant
these are workplaces ruled by fear and
subterfuge abuse and vindictiveness
deceit and slippery ethics and in the
face of the me2 movement the top notes
of narcissism pervaded all of the
stories the entitled and untouchable
tyrant pillaging the workforce and in
most case with almost no consequences
the most painful realization is that
narcissistic patterns are just not that
amenable to change at a minimum for any
change to occur the narcissus has to
recognize the harmful pattern of their
behavior then they have to want to
change it and then they have to put in
the daily work of change there is a
small number of cases where that kind of
happened but under conditions of stress
and frustration the usual issues of Rage
will pop up the rubberband of
personality returns to its usual shape
and size
the small changes that could be made may
not be enough to make a close intimate
relationship sustainable and if somebody
is not willing to recognize that they
need to make changes because they’re
hurting other people there’s little
likelihood they will make a change but
there is a likelihood they will continue
to blame other people the world or you
for their bad behavior so that means
that the only remaining strategies are
to maintain your expectations and set
boundaries not to try to change that
person or waste hope on the possibility
of change but to recognize that this is
how it is and either accept it or slowly
step away from it now this is very
individual and it’s not always possible
if it’s your parents or your child who’s
narcissistic you may not be willing to
sever that tie finances culture children
or love can make walking away from a
marriage or a romantic relationship
seemingly impossible and that’s fine but
managing expectations on this pattern
can protect you from the downstream
effects of this ongoing abuse and allow
you to construct a more realistic
reality sadly most of us put 90 percent
of our hearts minds and souls into our
most dysfunctional unhealthy
invalidating relationships and save the
little bit that’s left for the people
who are good and kind to us it’s time we
flip this skewed calculus and start
giving the best of ourselves to our
healthy and reciprocal relationships and
really only give the bare minimum to the
relationships that really aren’t helping
us grow perhaps that’s a healthier way
of negotiating these treacherous waters
of narcissism without losing ourselves
in the depths of self-doubt and
self-criticism now this can be extended
to our thinking about the world at large
it can be small fixes such as turning
off the polarizing discourses we hear
and learning to measure our self-worth
and the worth of others with new metrics
of success

  • authenticity
  • compassion
  • kindness
  • and empathy

we can learn to
tend to our own gardens and not get
pulled into hostile interactions that
benefit no one so this begs a question
can there be happy endings or
narcissistic or
tagging istic personalities and cultures
are concerned I actually think there can
be the greatest challenge about happy
endings in real life is that they rarely
look like the ones we crafted when we’re
young and it’s easy to get stuck in our
own old narratives people who come from
narcissistic families may feel as though
they missed out on having a parent who
is an ally or a supporter even as they
go into adulthood people who married
narcissistic partners may find
themselves mired in a nightmare of
emotional abuse or simply finding that
they’re actually alone despite being
married few people write stories of
their lives that build in disappointment
I have found that survivors of all kinds
of narcissistic and antagonistic
relationships actually can and do have
happy endings they just don’t look like
they thought all of us are bigger than
this epidemic of narcissism any of us
can change that you are not enough
narrative that still resonates we can
repair it ourselves we can look at the
entitled shenanigans of people who
shriek don’t you know who I am and
realize that you don’t give a damn about
who they are where there are scars
beautiful things actually can spring
forth
khalil gibran writes out of suffering
have emerged the strongest Souls the
most massive characters are seared with
scars yes the world is in fact becoming
more narcissistic and insecure
don’t let the global epidemic of
incivility infect you inoculate yourself
find your communities find common ground
with other people instead of living in
polarization practice kindness and
empathy even when other people are not
choose your friends and your romances
with care every life story can be a
miracle or a tragedy it just depends on
how you write it
these days with the world in such
disarray anyone who is surviving with
their empathy unbroken their hearts
sound their integrity in place and
theirs
sense of humor intact is nothing short
of dauntless pushing back on narcissism
is a human rights issue all of us need
to stop giving permission to narcissism
and narcissists and start taking our
lives our souls and our world back thank you

Trump Organization Finance Chief Called to Testify Before Federal Grand Jury

Mr. Weisselberg has served as executive vice president and chief financial officer at the Trump Organization, and was once described by a person close to the company as “the most senior person in the organization that’s not a Trump.” After Mr. Trump was elected, he handed control of his financial assets and business interests to his two adult sons and Mr. Weisselberg.

.. Mr. Weisselberg, a reserved accountant associates say is prized by Mr. Trump for his loyalty, has handled personal financial matters for Mr. Trump and has also been linked to payments made to two women who alleged they had sexual encounters with Mr. Trump.

.. During his effort to secure the retainer, Mr. Cohen showed Mr. Weisselberg records that he said related to expenditures he had made on behalf of Mr. Trump from his personal home-equity line of credit, this person said.

.. In the recording, which Mr. Cohen secretly made and which is under review by federal investigators, Mr. Cohen said he would set up a company to make the payment, adding, “I’ve spoken with Allen Weisselberg about how to set the whole thing up,” before Mr. Trump interrupts him.

.. Later in the conversation, Mr. Cohen reiterates that he “spoke with Allen” about the plan to finance the payment.

.. Mr. Cohen’s repeated references to Mr. Weisselberg in his conversation with Mr. Trump about buying the story were interpreted by others in the company as an effort to bolster Mr. Cohen’s credibility, according to a former associate of Mr. Weisselberg.

.. Mr. Weisselberg’s ties to the Trump family date back to days of working for the real-estate firm owned by Mr. Trump’s father, Fred, in the 1980s. He later came to the Trump Organization, where he reported directly to Donald Trump and worked out of an office in Trump Tower.

He was long an understated presence—one former colleague told the Journal in 2016 that Mr. Weisselberg “fits in with the wallpaper”—but with a temper that flared at times and an ability to crunch numbers rapidly

.. Mr. Weisselberg long performed tasks such as arranging for checks that Mr. Trump would sign, but also took on an increasingly large role at the company. If he thought there might be questions about whether or not to pay a supplier the full amount the Trump Organization owed, he would direct executives to check directly with Mr. Trump, one former executive said.

Over the years, Mr. Weisselberg has handled dealings with banks and other important matters, according to the former executives. He oversaw many of Mr. Trump’s personal transactions, the Journal has reported, citing a former Trump executive, including paying household expenses as well as the purchases of boats, planes or other personal properties.

For years, at least through the financial crisis, Mr. Weisselberg prepared Mr. Trump’s tax returns, according to one former Trump Organization employee.

Another former executive said Mr. Trump would sometimes point out to him how Mr. Weisselberg had been loyal to him for decades. In the course of business meetings, Mr. Trump also at times would reflexively ask his CFO to confirm his opinion. During one meeting, in 2015, Mr. Trump turned to Mr. Weisselberg and asked, according to a person who was there:

“Isn’t that right, Allen?”

“One-thousand percent right,” Mr. Weisselberg responded.

Memo to the President on Saudi Arabia

he comes from the poorest wing of the ruling family; his father was only governor of Riyadh and was known for being uncorrupted. As a result, M.B.S. grew up with a lot of resentment and disdain for his lazy cousins, who got obscenely rich, along with the big merchants close to them. His anti-corruption campaign was meant to stem the tide of graft, but it also had elements of revenge, and a power and money grab.

.. At the same time, we need to tell M.B.S.: You can be an effective king, with real legitimacy, or you can buy yachts, chateaus and Leonardo da Vincis like your cousins — but you can’t do both. He has to understand he’s becoming an important figure on the world stage, and he needs to cultivate the same reputation his father has — clean, modest, conciliatory.

.. On the management side, M.B.S.’s team is too small and contains a couple of minister-bullies close to him who are in way over their heads, and who bring out his worst instincts and offer terrible advice — some of which led to his failed overreaches in Yemen, Lebanon and Qatar. And while M.B.S. is a creative reformer, he has a fierce temper. Most of his ministers are afraid to challenge him or give him the candid, caring advice he needs.

.. Rex Tillerson is not respected in Riyadh, we have no permanent assistant secretary of state for Near Eastern affairs, and no ambassador. Are you nuts? You need to appoint a James Baker or Dave Petraeus as your special envoy to the Arab Gulf who can help M.B.S. defuse Yemen, end the feuds with neighbors, and focus all his energies on building a Saudi Arabia that is thriving at home and admired by its neighbors. That’s the best bulwark against Iranian expansion.

.. If M.B.S. chases Iran everywhere, Tehran will sap all his strength; it will be death by a thousand cuts. We need to be in his ear regularly with someone he respects, and not just leave him to “the boys’ club” — your son-in-law or other young testosterone-fueled Sunni Arab princes in the Gulf.

.. it is more vital than ever that we continue to model the rule of law, respect for institutions, tolerance and pluralism. A special U.S. envoy to Saudi Arabia is necessary now, but keeping America a special example is even more important.

Violence. Threats. Begging. Harvey Weinstein’s 30-year pattern of abuse in Hollywood.

“Everyone knew these stories,” one Hollywood publicist said. “Not the specifics. But people knew it was a hostile work environment, and that he was a bully to people. Because he could win you an Oscar, we were all supposed to look the other way.”

.. when the New Yorker published a 2015 audio recording of Weinstein trying to lure a model into his hotel room, Brewer was stopped cold.

.. Weinstein, enraged that he had been out of pocket for a few hours, lunged at him and began punching him in the head, Brewer said; the skirmish tumbled into the corridor and then the elevator. By the time Brewer reached the street, intent on never associating with the Weinsteins again, he said, Harvey was pleading for him to stay and help ensure that their film got launched.

.. “Listening to the audiotape, it gave me this visceral reaction to my experience that day,” Brewer said by phone Thursday. “This alternating between violence, threats, commands and then begging, mock-crying, trying anything — any angle to get what he wanted.”

.. a genius of promotion who persuaded Oscar voters to pick his lighthearted “Shakespeare in Love” over epic front-runner “Saving Private Ryan” as best picture in 1999.

.. He had a “funny, whiny” voice, and was often bullied, according to former classmates, but he was persistent, sure of himself, an operator.

.. “He was supremely confident, and not worried about any repercussions,” the friend recalled. “It was like, ‘Eh, if they catch me, so what, I’ll do it again.’ ”

.. Weinstein went into business with his brother, first as concert promoters and later

.. “Don’t mention the competition on the air. Don’t put two car ads in the same segment,” she said this past week. “And, if you’re a young woman, don’t be alone with Harvey Weinstein.”

.. His job then wasn’t to make movies but to discover them and get them into theaters. His forcefulness was a boon for independent and foreign films that lacked bankable names. He would be their star, their champion, deploying a brassy, fearless persona to conduct cutthroat negotiations and impassioned publicity campaigns.

.. “Harvey has a bargaining quality, a back-and-forth bullying that makes you just go ‘okay,’ she explained. She jumped out of their taxi blocks later and ran inside a bar, begging the bartender to pretend that he was her boyfriend.

.. “He’s very seductive at the start,” Leight said. “You think he understands you and your destiny is about to change.”

.. But Weinstein’s behavior was erratic. Leight said Weinstein pressured him to ask an actress to “show tit” on screen, though the script required no nudity.

.. In retrospect, he said, the abusive tactics that Weinstein used with women were in line with those he used with directors and male employees: the domination, the cycle of eruptions followed by contrition, the swagger, accompanied by shows of neediness.

“It’s absolutely the same behavior,” Leight said.

..  the Peninsula Beverly Hills hotel, where the New York-based producer often stayed, and where many of his alleged assaults were said to have taken place.

.. people knew that if you had worked there, you could put up with anything.”

.. West Coast employees employed a system of alerts, passed along by whisper, to prepare for the boss’s arrival.

Harvey is coming.

Harvey is five minutes out.

Harvey is on a kick about “Tulip Fever.” If you haven’t seen it, make sure you do now.

.. One preparation — described by multiple individuals and recognized as both practical and ridiculous — was to hide all the office candy bowls.

“He would take and eat them all and his blood sugar would spike,” the former employee explained. “We were trying to control his moods.”

.. The mood swings, the employee said, were frequent and relentless. Workers discussed in hushed tones how to manage them.

.. “It was not clear that he was assaulting people,” the former employee said. “But was it clear that he was trading his power for sexual favors? Yes.”

.. “What you have to understand is, Harvey was somebody who everybody who worked there didn’t like,” another former employee said. “Talking s— about Harvey was the normal course of action. He’s disgusting. He’s rude. He has food on his shirt.”

.. Weinstein’s blatant bad behavior managed to mask his more insidious tendencies. In other words, you didn’t believe he could be any worse in private than you had seen him behave in public.

.. Some women who have made claims against Weinstein have alleged that his assistants were facilitators of his behavior, or said they were in the room immediately before he assaulted them.

.. “I just thought we were seeing the bad end of a bad temper,” said one industry professional, who often encountered him over several decades. “I once watched him fire his whole staff at an awards show. It was one of the worst things I’ve witnessed — they were running away in tears and crying in parking lots.”

.. “Here’s a man who would take a little film that couldn’t and make it into hits that won Oscars,” said the publicist who watched Weinstein fire his entire staff. “He wasn’t the only one to do that, but he had a really good track record. Sometimes, to do that, you have to be a steamroller. I don’t know if that’s right or wrong. I think it’s wrong.” A pause. “I’m sure it’s wrong.”

.. “He said, ‘What have you heard about me?’” Masters said. “And I said, ‘I’ve heard you rape women.’ ”

Weinstein responded, Masters said, “with neither shock nor anger.”

.. Masters said the magazine tried “really hard” to publish a report on Weinstein’s sexual behavior a few years ago. But the source backed out, leaving it without on-the-record corroboration of festering rumors.

.. Harvey was the Trump of the movie industry. He knew what was a good story. He knew how it worked. He knew what a deadline was. He knew about the caring and feeding of gossip columns.”

..  a frequent source of scoops and celebrity gossip for tabloid papers.

.. Many Weinstein-watchers took note of what seemed to be an orchestrated media campaign against Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, the model who accused Weinstein of groping her in a Tribeca hotel room in 2015.

.. The New York Post published photos of her in a bikini and labeled her “Grope Beauty” on its cover. Its Page Six column reported that a police source said there was no physical evidence for Gutierrez’s claim. In fact, Gutierrez had worn a hidden police microphone and recorded Weinstein apologizing to her for the incident.

.. Weinstein had a knack for flattering reporters. He once had his staff put together a mock poster for “Page Six: The Movie” — starring George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson and Matt Damon as the column’s authors — and sent it to the newsroom.

.. Weinstein “cajoled and threatened” him when he wouldn’t kill an item about Weinstein’s divorce from Eve. Weinstein first tried to trade the item for another bit of gossip, Grove said, and next threatened to ban him from Miramax’s film screenings. Grove said he could buy his own movie tickets.

.. Eventually, Grove said, Weinstein backed down when he realized he had no leverage. But first, he said something Grove said “should be embroidered on a pillow. He said, ‘I’m the scariest m—–f—– you’ll ever have as an enemy in this town.’ ”

.. He implied that she needed him. He’d set up a Hollywood world in which everyone needed him.

.. I had dinner with this guy and it turns out he is everything I stand against.”

.. fundraisers alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, the premiere of “Shakespeare in Love” with Hillary Clinton on his arm.

.. His personal giving was dwarfed by that of many other showbiz moguls — only $1.8 million since 1979. But when President Bill Clinton sought help for his legal-defense fund during the Monica Lewinsky saga, Weinstein cut a $10,000 check.

.. Brown, who said she had never heard anything but milder rumors about Weinstein, called the election “a tipping point for a great many women.”

.. lawyer Gloria Allred. She is representing several of Weinstein’s accusers, but said she has “also been getting calls about other men in Hollywood. Studio executives, A-list actors. Big names. Names you would know.”

.. Though she represented more than 30 of Cosby’s victims, she said she suspects “this is going to be bigger. It’s a tsunami.”

.. he championed his boys — and there were no female voices in there.

.. The lack of female voices in Hollywood, Delavigne said, is “a more entrenched danger, and entrenched culture.” A common note she receives from producers, during the screenwriting process, is to make her female characters more “likable.” That one word, she said, epitomizes the film industry’s attitude about women.

.. “It is not ‘likable’ for a woman to say ‘no,’ to say ‘you can’t do that,’ ” Delavigne said. “That is not likable. That is not charming. That is not sweet.”

.. “He had just a very forceful way of going about things,”

.. “He forces himself on you, talks you into it and doesn’t leave you with an option.”

.. He was both needy and abusive

Victim Advocate Lisa Bloom Defends Work for Harvey Weinstein: ‘He Is Reading Books, Going to Therapy’

He has been working on his temper for over ten years and is chagrined the issue still plagues him. He recognizes he needs time off to focus on this issue and has much to learn. He wants to reach out to teachers with expertise in this area.

Harvey is not going to demean or attack any of the women making accusations against him, although he does dispute many of the allegations. Instead, he is going to use this as a painful learning experience to grow into a better man.