Tuners and Spinners

The spinner is the life of the party. The spinner is funny, socially adventurous and good at storytelling, even if he sometimes uses his wit to maintain distance from people. Spinners are great at hosting big parties.

They’re hungry for social experiences and filled with daring and creativity. Instagram and Twitter are built for these people. If you’re friends with a spinner you’ll have a bunch of fun things to do even if you don’t remember them a week later.

The tuner makes you feel known. The tuner is good at empathy and hungers for deep connection. The tuner may be bad at small talk, but in the middle of a deep conversation the tuner will ask those extra four or five questions, the way good listeners do.

.. a few lucky souls who are strong at both ends (I’m looking at you Stephen Colbert and Bill Clinton).

.. Spinning and tuning are different kinds of courage — the courage to be adventurous and the courage to be intimate.

.. Tuners love connection, and with their emotional depth may be prone toward depression.

.. A lot of the novels I read are narrated by tuners about spinners. That is to say, they are narrated by quiet empathetic characters about adventurous, vivacious characters.

.. both spinning and tuning are patterns of social interaction. They are patterns of being outer directed

.. Some people are inner directed. Their way of being in the world is based less on a pattern of interaction and more on a way of projecting what’s inside to the surrounding environment. Let’s call these people projectors.

.. I’d say a lot of heroes are projectors. Their primary attachment is to an ideal.

.. On the other hand, there are some projectors whose primary attachment is to some psychosis, some emotional or narcissistic wound. They project outward from that. I add this distinction because every social typology has to have a slot for Donald Trump.

..  Go into every social occasion with your own bucket. Be a spinner when life’s going good, a tuner when things go down