- We work hard, we play hard. => Expectation of Long hours with unobtainable goals. Play hard means incentivized events, often after hours events.
- We are family => Small, privately owned businesses. When I am at work I am not able to fill time with my actual family, cult-like
- We’ll promote you later (6 month or year) => Don’t have the budget. You don’t have it in writing and will have to fight for it, especially if your hiring manager leaves
- You’re replaceable =>They don’t value you on any level. Live in Fear
- We wear a lot of hats => You have to do a lot of roles of
- We’re in startup mode
- We only hire rockstars => Check Glassdoor to see if salaries match
- We’re always hiring => They have high turn over for a good reason.There is a revolving door
- If they lay people off,They’ll call you back if things get better => often from “family businesses”
- They say that they have a foosball table => like putting lipstick on a pig
- if you need help
“We’re a family here”
“We have an open door policy”
“Our wages and benefits are competitive”
“Any issues feel free to talk to HR”
“Everyone needs to sacrifice”
“We can’t do your review right now. Remind me later”These are just a few off the top of my head
Speaking to the replaceable: Companies are equally replaceable. I worked for an IT outfit in Cleveland and the owner wanted to chase a certain market. I asked about company support for training and certification. He straight up said “I expect you to cover that as it directly benefits you and your career”. Really this is how you’re going to play it asshole?
So I went and did the training and certification myself, went to his competitor for $15K more/year. Walked into his office and let him know I took his advice from 6 months ago and wanted to thank him.
We was initially confused and then I reminded him of what he said and let him know I fired him.
>> Well done. Changing jobs is the normal way to get a step change in remuneration.
My company has promised to promote me and I’ve been officially working in the higher position since April, without more pay. (I’ve already been doing most of the tasks of the higher role for a year.) I was told in April the official promotion and raise was supposed to come by the end of this year, because they first want to see if I can handle that role (that I’ve been basically doing for a year). So… Yeah, I’ve been applying for other jobs since April and my last day at that company will be in 2 weeks.
“Employees are our most valuable resource.” Said by a CEO after multiple layoffs. I asked her how that works. She said, “Employees are our most valuable resource, just not any particular employee. ”
My favorite is when they ask you to not discuss pay after you ask for a raise because you found out new hires are making 2 dollars an hour more than you. I quit so fast
“We care about a candidate’s compatibility with our company culture” – The greatest loophole for discrimination
I have another one for you. “This is a salaried position”. This being said in the context that you are expected to work long hours. Yes, it may be a salaried position however; that does not mean I want to work 80 hours a week for you! I have worked for a company in which I couldn’t make dinner plans with my family because something could come up at the drop of a hat and I was expected to work way beyond the the normal workday.
You hit this one out of the park! My crappy employers have said most of these things; my better employers haven’t. I despite the “we are a family” pitch. Nope, no you aren’t. My family may WANT to fire me or lay me off but they can’t. When I have a true success in life, my family is excited…the employer wonders “hmmm…how might this negatively impact me?” I am with you 100%.
I’m an IT guy and I’ve been taking these temp to hire contract jobs, so the whole “we’ll promote you later” thing is bull. They lay me off before they have to put up and hire me full time. Being an IT person I can tell you that pretty much every job you’re going to in this industry, you’re going to “wear multiple hats”, and not pay you for it. They’re trying to get away with a ton of this right now in this Covid economy.
“If your not happy quit, I can hire someone else” than management turns around and says “your an integral part of company and our business cannot afford to lose you”.
“You’re replaceable” is right down there with “If you’re not happy here, you can leave.”
Often “Our company is like a family” means “Our company grew from a small group without ever professionalizing its approach” and/or “People rely on longstanding relationships to get things done, so it’s impossible to get things well organized or done the right way.”
I’ve heard the “we’re always hiring” one myself when going around asking if their place is hiring, and I honestly don’t know why anyone would think it’s a positive comment unless its a brand new place that needs lots of people.
When I’m told “we’re always hiring” what I really hear is “everyone quits within a few months”, and that doesn’t happen at places people like to work at.I worked at a “family” company. I hope to never make that mistake again. I’ve also noticed if usually a job ad says “we’re growing”, that’s a cover up for “someone just quit”. I know this because that’s what they put in the ad for my job when I left.
When they say “we care about mental health” it means they provide you a compfy yoga room to cry in when the job drives you crazy.
This is so spot on. The “always hiring” one especially is a dead giveaway that it’s an utterly toxic environment – either they fire people for little or no reason, and/or it’s so miserable that they can’t keep people from constantly quitting.
As an engineer, I avoid any company using the H1B cheap worker replacement visas. Culture of fear can’t be avoided when they are threatening to offshore your job and make you compete with third world wages.
The “We’re looking for a rockstar” line in job postings is always cringe to me. I’m not a rockstar, I’m a professional and I want my services, years of experience and expertise to be taken seriously…
I remember going through a interview process with a company, and I was extended an offer, however when I got the offer letter the salary was lower than what was discussed and agreed upon in the hiring process. I called back the hiring manager to let him know I wouldn’t be taking that position. To me that was incredibly dishonest, amdi didn’t want to work for an employer that tried to cut corners and lie before you even get in the door.
Yup I heard the “We are like a family” line AFTER I had to file complaints on two toxic bosses in two different situations. It was like their last line of defense when they were confronted with their inappropriate behavior. “You are not my family/don’t care about yours/ do your job and leave me alone” is my motto and how I present at work. I’m here to work and be supported in my role. Get a shrink if you are having so many issues that you need to continually vent at work.
“At every company I’ve worked at, they say ‘we’re a big family here,’ and it does motivate people to work harder and neglect their actual families and put up with all sorts of degrading shit.” – Colin Robinson, What We Do In The Shadows
“We need to do more with less.”
Translation: we can’t keep people, so we’re just going to say you can do 50% more work in the same amount of time.A former employer: To celebrate the $100s of millions a previous project made for the company, the team was invited to “come let us treat you to a cup of coffee” Amazing how tone deaf some of these managers are.
I’m laughing so hard right now because this video fits very good the absurdity I have to work in. I work in the video game industry in a city that is one of the world’s largest video game centre. In all my work experience on ten years there was at least one of those toxic signs among the 9 presented every time. I estimate that at least 70% of the industry’s companies in the city I live present the toxic signs presented in the video. On top of that, part of that culture is that people work for passion so if you don’t suck up the toxic you’re told you don’t have the passion and someone seen as not having the passion is discriminated without more consideration.
One of my fav is, “you can have any position you want in this company”. I have never seen an employee take on a CEO role to fix the bad decisions made
I’ve experienced the “we are family” nonsense in several jobs. That’s the stupidest thing anyone in a company can tell me. I’ve never bought into that garbage from people I work with, some of which I can’t even stand. Later when they show their true colors, I use it against them (“Is that how you treat your family?” “You know, the family thing goes both ways.” and my favorite, “Oh, now after this we’re family?”). Also the “we wear a lot of hats” nonsense is the biggest sign of the place being a mess.
I’d also add when companies tell you “we’re friendly”. I’ve never ever had the need to clarify to people that I am friendly, and I’ve never ever met any friendly person who have to say that they are friendly, so if the company has to tell people, chances are the place is a gossip/drama ridden place, infested with all kinds of dysfunctional people who are not friendly at all.
“We did not have enough revenue this year to give raises.” Then you find out all C level people got bonuses and raises and the revenue of the company is up greater than 10% from the previous year.
I accepted a ‘You’ll get a raise once you’re trained up’ situation to accept a pay that was WAY under market. Once I was trained up, the raise was 25 cents per hour. I now know to ask for details upfront – but wished I knew earlier. So wonderful that your giving people the tools to avoid these bad situations!
I worked for a Fortune 10 company and saw nearly every red flag warning sign while working there. It’s easy to simply brush aside your instincts and buckle up for a bumpy ride. It can be difficult to face the reality of the situation and make the right choices for you AND your real family. Especially for the older generation like myself where loyalty was driven into us to a fault. Great video!!
“We’ll promote you later.”
I took a job where in the verbal offer this was stated with details of how I would be promoted within 6 months and be paid what I was making at my previous job (I took a large pay cut to take this job in a desperate move to exit another toxic work environment). However, in my written offer the promotion was nowhere to be found. I accepted because it was a small company, in the production world even DECENT jobs are difficult to find, and they brought it up periodically to remind me they hadn’t forgotten.
Three days after I started my hiring manager and direct supervisor walked out (too long of a story to post here but he wasn’t an angel in the scenario either). He and I were the only two in the department. So I worked there for 16 months with no training, garbage pay, garbage benefits, and all because I expected them to do the bare minimum as adults and hold up their end of the bargain.
What I’m saying is don’t work for a stone fabricator in Madison, WI. Companies like this need to be ousted.
Ironically I left that job and started working at a place…with a foosball table.
My favorite line was “we are trying to design the plane while it is flying” to explain why they were constantly firing people.
Turns out they just were stuck because they were too scared to piss off their sales/engineering sections that were only a couple people deep who were threatening to leave if they didn’t get their way. They were protecting their jobs from someone cheaper/better so they wouldn’t end up on the chopping block.
“We believe in a Work/Life balance”. “There are 24 hours in a day, we only expect you to work half of those”.
“Don’t come up to me asking for a raise, I will come up to you myself offering a raise when I decide that it’s needed” – was told this by the future boss when getting hired at a small lawyer’s office. Needless to say, the environment at that office was incredibly toxic, but I needed the money.
Do you have, or considered making a video about sham interviews? The ones where they have already have a favourite candidate and using other candidates as “fill”? What to do in those situations? Who to complain to about such corruption and exploitation?
@Colin I gave up on all that positivity and doing the right thing. None of that got me no where. All these managers play games and get the nice checks. I quit after being played, my team misses me and now they gotta deal w the bullshit supervisor rn
@lakes yes unfortunately these days total obedience seems to be the theme at workplaces and interviews, not objectivity, innovation or productivity. It’s hyper politicalised made worse by a declining economy which fuels more “jobs for mates”.
I see this a lot of times in corporate environments where the hiring manager already has an internal hire picked out but because of corporate policy, they have to put in a sham effort to interview external candidates as well. You can usually tell when this is happening because the hiring manager is totally disengaged from the interview and is really conscious of the time. Mentions it several times. Things like, “so I know we have a limited time” or “to stay on track with our time today”. Sometimes an external candidate will even get to the 2nd or 3rd round before they cut them loose. What a huge waste of everyone’s time and quite soul crushing for the external candidate when they feel like they actually have a chance.
“We’re just one big happy family!”
Translation: We’re the grownups, you’re the child. Expect regular spankings.I worked for a place that had “work hard/play hard” energy. I was part of a small department who was constantly overworked and salaried. Some of our PM’s favorite lines were “the drawings are wrong” and “just make it work”
I left because when I was interviewing, they told me that they give pay increases based on number of certifications earned. Well, when I came up to my boss’s desk with 11 certifications earned in a year, he told me to wait until our “yearly review” that never happened. I stopped putting extra effort into that job after that.I’ve had one say “you need to get out of your comfort zone” which basically means “you need to do a whole bunch of crap that isn’t your job.”
As someone who has heard pretty much all these terms during an interview and taken these jobs you are completely right!!!! As soon as I hear the term we need a go getter or we need you to hit the ground running, Im out!!! No matter how hard you work its just not gonna work out. Or we are a family here. Just get up and walk out.
Every time I hear “we only hire rockstars” usually followed by “you should be proud to make it this far because we get tons of applications” or something along those lines it just comes off like the stereotypical used car salesman trying to butter you up
Funny- almost all of these are what GameStop pulls, except “we have a foosball table”. One of the worst companies I’ve ever worked for in my life!
Funny- almost all of these are what GameStop pulls, except “we have a foosball table”. One of the worst companies I’ve ever worked for in my life!
Great job. Yeah, that “We’re like a Family” bs only tends to apply to people that are actually making the money, or running some kinda agenda. A job and the people therein arent your friends, or “family.”
Unfortunately, I have worked at more than a few companies in my area over the past 15 years. I can tell you that I have heard almost everything you mention at every single one of them, including at many of my interviews. I am convinced that company owners get together in this area and purposely collude against the workers. It is hypocritical, considering the anti-union stance they have all taken over the past 30 some years. What’s good for the good is not good for the gander in my area. Additionally, it does me no good to craft an exit strategy when I know the next place will be just as bad, if not worse, than where I work now.
“Early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable” is the one I can’t stand the most. It sounds catchy, but is mostly corporate’s way of saying we don’t want to pay you for everything you do.
It may be similar to the first one but I often hear ‘this is a fast paced environment’ which usually seems to mean ‘we are grossly understaffed so you’ll be doing the work of two people’.
Every scam has one of these red flags: ex-con man Frank Abagnale
In the past, con men were able to charm people one-on-one with a nice attire, great
In the past, con men were able to charm people one-on-one with a nice attire, great vocabulary and a likable personality. While they were captivating in person, modern day con artists are anything but that. They work remotely behind computers and in their pajamas, where it’s easy to take everything without any compassion.
Ex-con man Frank Abagnale, made famous in the movie “Catch Me If You Can,” says technology may have changed the ways scammers operate, but it has not changed how scams work. To spot them, there are two red flags that are in almost every scam.
- Flag one: Artists will say they need money urgently. Whether it’s money or card information. They often obtain this through a romance scam, where the artists will target those looking for a relationship.
- Flag two: Artists will ask for personal information. They will often call or email as a bank fraud agent. By evoking fear into their victims, they can easily obtain the credit card security codes or social security numbers.
Triangulation 😮 Narcissist Triangulation Triangulate Here’s Why
Rough Translation:
namaste everybody, Lisa a romano the breakthrough a life coach and today I
wanted to talk about narcissistic triangulation and why narcissists need
to triangulate in the first place so that we can understand and why I think
it’s important that we take some time to consider why triangulation is so huge
for narcissists is because alice is making a bunch of noise in my office
right now she’s just getting comfortable so that’s the groaning you hear Alice
anyway so it’s important that we understand that triangulation goes hand
in hand with narcissism and narcissistic rage narcissistic projection and all
that goes along with dealing with a very unhealthy personality who is extremely
shame-based and is doing everything that they possibly can to deflect from
anybody ever being able to see past the mask and they will use just about any
any tactic necessary to prevent anybody from seeing their flaws and so I just
did a video if you haven’t seen it on self-acceptance oh you might want to
check that out because kind of dovetails nicely into this idea healthy people
accept that they have flaws and they accept that they’re human and they know
that humility is part of the human experience and they learn to heal their
shame they identify that shame is is not necessary guilt can be very helpful and
that it helps us shape our behavior in the future so I know that I was a very
reactive young mom I was 23 when I had my son what did I know
and I was had very low self-esteem and I was severely codependent so really below
the veil very reactive you know just thinking if I did everything right then
everything’s gonna if I was good and I was a doormat and I took care of
everybody then life somehow would work out you know that was mixed in with a
lot of the my indoctrination from growing up as a Catholic being told that
I should worry more about others and then myself and my mother used to say to
me you should be ashamed of yourself right whenever I didn’t act accordingly
and so we we as healthy people are understanding that you know guilt can
help us shape our behavior so if I realized that I was over reactive and
very you know it was just an overreacted young mom I can feel guilt about that
about my behavior and that guilt can help me change my behavior in the future
that’s awesome but we’re learning that shame is not us
shame shame comes from the outside it’s an experience from outside it’s related
to family secrets it’s it’s related to what’s going on in our child’s at home
that we can’t work out and we feel terrified that people are going to know
that there’s mental illness in our family or our mother or father committed
suicide or our brothers on drugs or i’ont committed suicide or whatever
right so we’re so afraid of these truths that have nothing to do with us right
and many of us carry this shame so we’re healthy people are understanding like
okay shame is happened to me someone made me feel shame it’s like someone
gave you a sweater I call it the SOS the sweater of shame and as you heal and
become more above the veil you become more conscious like I can take this
fricking sweater off anytime I want to because it’s not my fault that I have
this shame nobody should shame a child and a child should never have to carry
the weight of the world on their shoulders alone there should always have
been someone there attuning themselves the child making them feel better and
helping them understand their circumstances I don’t need this sort of
shame anymore but when it comes to narcissistic personalities their shame
is so deep and they are so defensive that they deflect and they project
because they can’t get to that space of what happened to me you know they can’t
and they don’t want to they have no desire to go there right so healthy
people who have been wounded go there it hurts like hell trust me been there a
few times you know I’m still dealing with myself you know and what’s happened
but we’re all working progress right so healthy people are able to go there and
heal their shame and and recognize the shame is not made with
something that happened to me you know and as difficult as a process as it is
and anybody has ever taken my 12-week breakthrough coaching program
we’re digging you know we’re getting in there we’re just we’re scrubbing the
walls of the soul and you know we’re trying to figure out what happened and
it’s tough stuff but people who refuse to take that journey who are defensive
and and deflect all the time and project who never get to that that core of what
is at the root of their anger and their rage and their disappointment in life
right they end up staying stuck and they end up blaming people for why they feel
the way they feel so so why does a narcissist
why does try any triangulation go hand and hand with a narcissist in my humble
opinion I am a Cho in my humble opinion triangulation goes hand in hand with
narcissistic abuse because the narcissist has got to make sure they end
up on the top so if a narcissist is in a relationship with you and they do this
all wherever they go in my opinion so if a narcissist is at work right in a work
setting a narcissist can act like he is that his partner’s best friend but
behind his partner’s back you know he’s talking about the partner in the break
room you know Ralph is a nice guy but you know he had a nervous breakdown
about you know six years ago yeah you know his poor wife you know he’s a
handful I mean on the surface he looks like a
great guy he’s so easy to deal with but you know the reality is he’s got so many
problems and you know you know I’m doing my best to like you know drag him along
like you know keep him going and you know I’m gonna take him out next Friday
and make sure that you know you know he’s okay meanwhile Ralph is fine
Ralph’s a hundred percent fine routes 110% fine Ralph has no issues whatsoever
but let’s say the narcissist name is Mark you know mark is making sure that
if there’s ever a fall with Ralph that mark ends up on the top
that people like oh my god poor mark because he has to he has to make a claim
against you right he’s building up a case against you or building up a case
against Ralph in the in the event that there is an issue he cut mark ends up
looking like he’s the guy on top so narcissists are always collecting flying
monkeys whether we know it or we don’t but it is a very common common trait you
have let’s say you’re married to a narcissist and you know behind your back
he’s calling his family and he’s he’s talking to his friends he’s even calling
your friends he’s my ex-husband did this my ex-husband called my friends called
my mother hung out with my brother talked to my father and in one breath
was saying to him your daughter’s like she could have been a rocket scientist
she’s amazing there’s nothing that could have could have held her back but to me
he was calling me name saying that I was a flake saying that I was crazy saying
things like even your mother thinks you’re crazy which means you had a
conversation with my mother about me behind my back which means you pulled
her into our life and into our conversation right or just into our
experience triangulation so this is a very common thread and it’s amazing when
you see it right you know they have to triangulate because they’re concerned
that if anything they’re always thinking ahead whether it’s on whether it’s
conscious or unconscious they’re always making claims against our the people so
that they always look like the victim so in my humble opinion narcissistic
triangulation is the norm narcissists are always collecting flying monkeys and
it doesn’t matter if it’s at work it doesn’t matter if it’s in the doctor’s
office it doesn’t matter if it’s in a relationship with a friend or
relationship with a spouse their agenda is to make sure that they look like the
victim very very important and we have to be prepared because
and this is what happens to us like in my case you know I was the codependent
and I never went to my family about my ex-husband because I wanted them to see
him as a nice guy you know I wanted to make them proud
you know I also knew that if I went to my parents and told them I think to sum
up with this guy they wouldn’t have believed me because
he spent so much time convincing them that he was awesome and because I was so
codependent and I was worried about not looking perfect and I was worried about
being judged for being unhappy I was taught that I wasn’t allowed to be
unhappy and how dare you you’re selfish for being unhappy I never told anybody
about my ex-husband I kept it to myself so I was not collecting flying monkeys I
wasn’t triangulating and then what happens when the roof blows off and the
floor gets pulled out from underneath you you go to talk to your friends and
lo and behold you discover that your husband or your boyfriend or your
girlfriend has been talking to them about you the entire time and so when
you go for support nobody believes you nobody understands you and when the
smear campaign starts you feel like you swallowed a grenade like what just
happened you review the agenda is to stay above you and right so I can’t have
an open conversation with you I have to stay above you right and I don’t know I
don’t want to resolve this with you because I am the victim and I want to
make sure that I remain the victim so I have to stay above you so that’s also
another another key idea to keep in mind and that’s why narcissism involves
triangulation and that’s why when relationships end there is there are
smear campaigns because it’s been happening when you didn’t even realize
it was happening behind your back there was a collection of smear complaining
monkeys there was this collection of things happening that you weren’t even
aware of and you know we have to if if we have been woken up in a relationship
with the narcissist you know we realize we’ve been in a relation
with the narcissist you know unfortunately we have to expect that the
smear campaign is an inevitable aspect of ending that relationship because they
can’t just go away they can’t just end the relationship
they can’t just ride off into the sunset and start another relationship and say
wow what did that past relationship teach me know narcissists must destroy
you they are aggressive they are hell-bent on destruction and the more
you come at them the more they’re gonna try to annihilate you right angry stuck
below the veil of consciousness reactive and totally believe they are the victim
and so when you take all of this into consideration you will take into
consideration the shame that they’re trying to run from right and how anger
sometimes can prevent can make them feel safe right so if I make you the bad guy
I never have to look at me and if you’re the bad guy and you’re crazy
then whatever wisdom comes out of your mouth possibly I can deflect because
you’re crazy and you’re no good and so I never have to let what you have to have
you have to say penetrate my soul and crack the mask so then I never have to
deal with the tremendous shame that’s inside of me
so sometimes anger and rage is like a shield and that prevents narcissists
from actually able being able to actually deal with their shame and then
if you understand that they must remain the victim then you also have to you
also can understand why they triangulate and what the purpose is of it and the
reason I like to do these types of videos is because once you understand
the the agenda once you understand the mechanics once you once you understand
why a narcissistic personality would take this on then it’s easier for us to
step step away from it you know it’s really really mind-blowing when you find
yourself in a relationship with the narcissist that you’ve cared about and
the relationship has ended and you just go to work the next day minding your own
business like wow it sucks you know I can’t believe this person was this
person like you know I love this purse you know and but you’re going you mind
your own business you’re going about life and taking care of yourself and
doing your Epsom salt baths or whatever you know hold it onto your crystals
going for some Reiki whatever floats your boat and then BAM out of nowhere
you get hit upside your head with some news of a smear campaign minding your
own business and here comes the smear campaign or you decide to meet up with
some girlfriends and talk about why you broke up and you know by the look on her
face she’s like that’s not what I heard what do you mean is that what you heard
and then you find out that your husband and your boyfriend or whatever has been
talking to your girlfriend the whole time that you’ve been with them right it
is devastating and it can make you feel so alone and I can tell you as someone
who has been accused of so many different things by my ex-husband and
his family and even some friends I can tell you that it makes you feel like you
have you are three months old you know you have been dropped off in the middle
of the Brooklyn Bridge and they’re attractive trailers coming at you you
know the helicopters with machine guns hovering over and it’s dark you know
it’s not gonna rain and you’re this 3-month little old baby on this bridge
and oh my god you know it makes you feel so powerless and so helpless and like
the world is coming to an end but hold on and know that the more you hold onto
yourself in the less attention you give this situation you are pulling your
energy from it remember what we focus on grows right and so imagine that this
isn’t an energetic ball his energy or her smear campaign whatever it is is an
energetic ball and your job is to pull as much energy and drain as much energy
from it as possible so that it can dissipate and shrink so the less
attention you give it don’t look on Facebook don’t talk to the friends
who’ve been pulled in you don’t have conversations about what’s going on
deliberately pull your attention from it in the meantime up your self-care very
very important and so dodging it with namaste namaste and also know you know I
also teach your Law of Attraction class and
this question always comes up like I thought I was doing better how could I
have tracked this into my life and you know I’ve done so much healing work how
could this happen to me again you know and then they start to feel bad
sometimes members feel bad that this has shown up right that this abusive
relationship has shown up with this conversation has shown up and I thought
I was doing so much better so just a little bit about that what is within us
that needs to be healed will eventually come to the surface and when it comes to
a certain comes to the surface that’s a that’s our opportunity to heal it so
that we can move forward so we’re always trying to I think anyway in my humble
opinion iMHO I think what we’re trying to do is
evolve and to leave old paradigms behind so that we can create new paradigms and
move and accelerate forward on our spiritual journey and so while something
is still active inside of us it could be the fear of what other people think
about us it could be leftover shame from childhood right it could be a pattern in
ourselves the I know for me after I got divorced I attracted three narcissistic
relationships one was worse than the other and these were criminals hello I
didn’t know that I eventually figured that out but seriously this was serious
stuff and what I had to look at was I was the common denominator so what was
coming up from me right what was coming up for me was eventually I realized I
was ignoring some red flags that my inner guidance was was sending me
signals and I was saying no I was rationalizing them away and so that’s
why after the last relationship I was like I’m not ignoring red flags anymore
because what I do hell breaks loose and so that’s what I came that’s that’s what
I attracted into my life because I want truth and I want growth and so here I am
asking for growth and when you ask for growth you will be presented with what
needs to shift and as long as we stay clear as to the goal for our humanity or
for our souls journey as long as we understand we’re here to transcend the
old and we don’t freak out what it shows when it shows itself like when we find
out someone stole money from us so we find out someone’s lied to us it’s been
it’s it’s now part of our experience because it’s sort of like a layer of
skin that’s now at the surface that we need to slough off right and that’s an
awesome thing so try not to get caught up thinking that because it’s in our
experience it’s a bad thing because time and time again
I mean I’ve coached probably thousands of people personally as well as through
my coaching programs and what is showing up is this idea that every time a
conflict is resolved abundance shows up whether it’s abundance of light energy
or abundance of healing energy so don’t allow the linear brain good bad up down
left right Democrat Republican fool you into thinking or believing in this
illusion that this is a bad thing if something’s showing up in your
experience is painful that’s a good thing because it’s an opportunity to
heal it and to shift and to become a more abundant light activated body being
person soul person so it’s all good as long as we don’t allow our minds to tell
us that it’s not good and so there are definitely tools that we can use on the
road as we’re learning to heal ourselves and here our lives like the 1 2 3
process you can look up look up the 1 2 3 process on my channel there are so
many tools that we can use so you can also check out codependent now what it’s
naughty what you’re programming I have a ton of resources and a ton of life
skills that you can use to help you manage when chaos comes up so I hope
that this this video has helped you understand why trying why narcissists
triangulate and what you can do to get out of get out of a head of it if you
find yourself in the middle of it and how important it is to just remove your
energy from it and just just let them just let them burn out because I mean
when you ignore a narcissist like that makes them crazy when you set a boundary
that makes them nuts like they they can’t handle it right and so what will
happen is they won’t be able to contain the
narcissistic rage and I know that sounds crazy but hear me as long as you do what
you can to maintain your energy and you just allow this little Tasmanian devil
to spin out what’s gonna happen is the flying monkeys you know family members
your friends whatever they’re gonna start to see what’s really behind the
mask which is destruction which is annihilation which is the opposite of
love and letting go and abundance right and so try to keep this in mind the next
time you’re dealing with this or if you’re dealing with this and know that
ultimate self care ultimate self empathy can definitely ease the pain of having
to survive a narcissistic smear campaign you’re not alone I’ve survived one or
two in my life so know that you’re in good company and everything’s gonna be
fine just love yourself because you are enough now I must say I bow to the love
and the light that is absolutely in you and for anyone who’s interested in my
membership site you can check it out at HTTPS dot dot slash slash Lisa – a dash
Romano dot Micah jabra.com I have a bunch of programs and video lessons and
audio lessons and meditations and downloadable files including a copy of
the road back to me and some of my best-selling programs not the 12-week
and not the master class but other programs are actually in the in the
membership site as well and so just check it out and let me know what you
think bye for now