44:03
now with with language there’s also
44:06
things to look at in language just a lot
44:08
of times it has to do with paying
44:09
attention so if I say to you Lisa you
44:11
know what time did you get home last
44:12
night and you say to me well you know I
44:14
usually get home around 6:00 did you
44:17
answer the question but you’d be
44:19
surprised how many people will let that
44:21
go and they will move on I didn’t ask
44:23
you what time you usually get home I
44:25
asked you what time did you get home
44:26
last night because people are trying to
44:28
avoid lying directly is that why they do
44:30
it yeah snips through the cracks it does
44:33
well look people we all know it’s wrong
44:35
to lie so we don’t like lying so the
44:37
most popular way we lie is through
44:39
omission we will leave something out we
44:43
will be vague in our language and so we
44:45
really want to listen to the language
44:46
are people answering your question when
44:50
you ask a question do they respond back
44:51
with a question who me
44:53
are you talking to me it could be a
44:55
stalling tactic yes it’s me there’s
44:57
nobody else in the room it’s just you
44:58
and I who else would be asking you and
45:00
to listening to the language that people
45:02
use also another indicator is usually
45:06
when we speak we’ll say I I feel this
45:09
way I this I went here I that III what
45:13
you’ll tend to see in verbal language is
45:15
somebody who doesn’t use I it means that
45:18
there’s a lack of commitment that
45:20
they’re telling you something but
45:21
they’re not committed to it so think of
45:22
the sentence if I say to you miss you
45:25
love you can’t wait to see you okay I
45:28
miss you I love you I can’t wait to see
45:32
you there’s more of a commitment on that
45:34
latter one so you can possibly assume
45:37
again assumption but the first person
45:39
really doesn’t miss you all that much
45:40
really doesn’t love you all that much
45:42
doesn’t care whether they see you and so
45:45
there’s so many clues and the things we
45:47
say then also how we say them you know
45:50
do people speak with conviction are they
45:51
vague so when it comes to deception
45:54
people who lie are typically vague
45:56
because when you’re lying there’s so
45:58
much more you have to remember there
46:00
won’t be as detailed Wow yes that was
46:07
far ago and everything is in the book
46:10
that they can find everything is so much
46:12
stuff but it’s all great stuff and it’s
46:14
all it’s all the little things like
46:16
there’s no gimmick there’s no like here
46:18
just do these three steps you will know
46:20
it’s it’s really understanding people
46:23
studying human behavior look I’m
46:25
fascinated by people and everyone’s
46:27
unique and everybody’s different and so
46:29
you want to learn people understand
46:30
people and the more curious you are
46:32
about people the more you’ll be able to
46:35
read them and think what matters is to
46:37
this person why would they lie to me
46:40
well what would there be there what
46:43
would be their incentive their motive
46:45
and that’s where empathy comes in using
46:48
empathy to understand somebody else’s
46:50
perspective see the world not through
46:51
your eyes through their eyes and even
46:54
something simple as when I would do
46:55
interviews with people I would sit in
46:58
the chair the person I would be
47:00
interviewing and would sit because I
47:02
wanted to see what does it feel like to
47:03
sit in this chair where are they looking
47:05
what are they staring at is their window
47:08
is their clock are they distracted by
47:10
something what does it feel like so talk
47:13
to people not the way you want to be
47:15
spoken to but the way they want to be
47:18
spoken to a way that resonates with
47:19
and how do you do that by talking less
47:22
and listening more because they will
47:23
give you clues and insight to who they
47:27
are mmm
47:29
God that was fire that was amazing
47:32
and I think I know the answer to this
47:34
question because I think you just
47:35
answered it but what is your superpower
47:37
gosh my superpower I feel a lot you fail
47:45
a lot yeah
47:46
failure is my superpower the more I fail
47:50
the more resilient I become and the less
47:53
afraid I am of it
47:54
failure is my superpower I love that and
47:57
where can people find you in your new
47:58
book and you show that you’re on and
48:00
everything that you’re doing
48:01
so spy games is every Monday night on
48:03
Bravo it’s 10:00 p.m. Eastern and
48:06
Pacific and then 9 p.m. Central and then
48:09
my book is be called becoming
48:10
bulletproof and honestly like all the
48:12
stuff we talked about it’s in there and
48:14
I just took everything that I learned
48:16
that I was privileged to be in the white
48:18
house to be around these extraordinary
48:19
people to go through all this training
48:21
and my mindset was how do I help people
48:23
how do I serve people I don’t want to
48:26
write a book about me I wanted to write
48:27
a book that people could take and use in
48:29
their everyday lives because all that
48:31
stuff I use today with everything in
48:34
relationships
48:35
it was so vulnerable and there’s so many
48:38
things that go on around us like how do
48:40
we protect ourselves not just physically
48:41
but mentally different people you know
48:44
even people that don’t mean to harm us
48:46
harmless and so how do you how do you
48:50
navigate that world so it’s becoming
48:52
bulletproof you can get it on Amazon it
48:54
comes out in April and so I’m really
48:56
excited about that because again like I
48:58
just I want it to help people and I
49:00
really think that’s a book that really
49:02
can amazing and where can people follow
49:04
you Oh common spelling Greek name hat
49:06
Febby pauperis so a tvy pauperis and
49:10
then p oh um pou re s amazing we’ll put
49:13
all the links in the show notes as well
49:15
guys guys I have been waiting for this
49:17
episode and dying to get this woman on
49:19
for god knows how long and so I am a
49:22
giddy child right now I’m so freaking
49:23
excited that she was able to sit here
49:25
and give all those words of wisdom go
49:27
buy her book go follow her if you’re not
49:29
following me follow me at Lisa Billy and
49:31
if you’re not subscribe to this channel
49:32
guys and you do
49:33
I feel like this is bringing you value
49:34
please please do click that subscribe
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button down there and until next time be
49:39
the hero of your own life
49:44
I have suffered from serious health
49:46
issues for close to four years now and
49:49
when I say I’ve tried everything well I
49:51
pretty much have I’ve been to countless
49:54
doctors read more books on health and
49:56
you can possibly imagine take an advice
49:58
change my diet change my lifestyle
50:00
change my workouts all in an effort to
50:03
help me get stronger get healthier and
50:05
as a result show up in my business and
50:07
my relationships with Han but I’m gonna
50:09
be real with you guys the biggest thing
50:11
I did was take ownership take ownership
50:15
over my own health because the truth is
50:17
no one cares more about your health in
50:19
you and so I started to track my own
50:21
results I started looking at how much
50:23
sleep I got and the correlation between
50:25
that and my mood and productivity enters
50:28
whoop it literally tracks all things
50:31
sleep from my sleep so I cause stages
50:34
disturbances and efficiencies and based
50:37
on how strenuous my day is we can
50:39
actually suggest when I should sleep so
50:42
my body gets the rest I need I also
50:45
started to track my workouts with whoop
50:47
to see if I was pushing myself too much
50:49
and as a result suffering from burnout
50:51
it has a built in feature that allows me
50:54
to track calories burn my heart rate and
50:56
what zone my heart rate is in in real
50:59
time and once I started to do that it
51:02
literally changed everything I was
51:05
finally able to improve my work
51:07
performance and to be honest more
51:10
importantly I’m just so much happier and
51:12
let’s face it isn’t really what we all
51:14
are going for so I’m so freaking excited
51:18
that we have teamed up with whoop and
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today they’re offering 15% off to our
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check out to say 15% off your order
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take your life by the horns strap on a
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root band and remember guys be the hero
51:40
of your own life
51:43
what up guys Lisa here thanks so much
51:45
for watching this episode and if you
51:47
haven’t already subscribed keep that
51:48
little bun-bun in front of you click
51:50
click click away we release episodes
51:52
every Wednesday so be sure to get
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notified until next time go be the hero
51:56
of your own life