I have found three things that suddenly change a narcissist’s personality:
- They have new supply.
When a narcissist latches on to new supply, they engage in mirroring. They lack a stable identity because their emotional development is stunted to toddler years.
Every time they meet new supply, they start changing like a chameleon.
They change the way they dress. They change the things they like. They change their political beliefs. They change their sense of humor.
The supply could be a partner or a friend. But once they are in idealization phase, the narcissist becomes a new person. They gather new traits for their mask.
- They are in a collapse due to loss of supply.
When a narcissist is rejected, they go into collapse. It’s when the narcissist has no choice but to confront their shame, and they feel unlovable. It reminds them of the rejection from their narcissist parent.
I’ve seen many collapses: it causes a sudden despondency. A deep depression and vulnerability. I rarely see it last more than a week, often much shorter.
It’s always utterly unsettling and fiercely intense.
The narcissist is actually most likable in this pathetic state. They seem human.
However, they’re dangerous AF in this state too. They’ll go into a rage and their revenge is wildly disproportionate.
I know one narcissist that killed himself in this state as a child, at 15, after sexually assaulting his supply and being discarded. And my dad also tried to kill himself in a collapse.
It’s a dark and dangerous mental state.
- They sense you are doing well.
OH HELL NO?! She’s still living?!
TIME FOR A HOOVER.
Let’s see if we can FINISH HER.
At this time, the narcissist who discarded you like you were moldy cheese suddenly acts like you’re a whole gourmet meal again.
They bring on your favorite drug: the lovebomb.
And then they try to ruin your life all over again.