When a narcissist can no longer control you, they seek to control the way others see you.

Let me give it to you straight.

When a narcissist can no longer control you, they seek to control the way others see you.

The narcissist is solely motivated by two things:

  • Obtaining narcissistic supply
  • Preserving their idealized self and made-up version of reality

You are someone who has the power to disrupt both of those things. You have the power to expose their true self and reveal the truth behind their made-up world.

The more you know, the more of their truth you’ve seen, the more dangerous you are.

You are a threat that must be neutralized.

At this point, the narcissist needs to destabilize, quiet, and discredit you as quickly as possible.

Turns out this is pretty simple. They have a legion of flying monkeys prepped and ready to jump to their aid.

What is a flying monkey?

Flying monkeys are people groomed by the narcissist to abuse the narcissist’s victims.

The narcissist has power and control over them. Flying monkeys believe whatever the narcissist says without discernment, meaning they have no interest in determining if it’s actually true. The flying monkeys go to extreme lengths to propagate this “truth,” and deliver your punishment.

Now you’d think these dangerous people would be obvious — dressed in black walking two steps behind them like their lackeys – but you’d be wrong. The narcissist’s flying monkeys are YOUR family, YOUR friends, YOUR co-workers, YOUR neighbors, in addition to their friends, family, and co-workers.

Until you see the truth, the dance between narcissist and flying monkeys is invisible to the victim. Together, they deliver the abuse.

The best part (for the narcissist) is, they can do all of this without you knowing. That’s how they destabilize you.

The narcissist has shared “in confidence” heinous, far-fetched allegations…

  • You never gave them a birthday gift for decades.
  • You stowed money offshore.
  • You stole money from the kids.
  • You had numerous affairs.
  • You were fired for misconduct.
  • You were abusive to them.
  • You neglected the kids.
  • You killed their pet.

I say “in confidence” because the narcissist uses this strategy to make the flying monkey feel special while hoping that the allegation is spread far and wide.

Mind you, despite the lack of any credible evidence, the flying monkey believes this allegation as if it were from God’s mouth. Because they worship the narcissist, in some ways it is.

After a period of time, often in the midst of a legal or other proceeding, you hear the allegation for the first time.

You are stunned — destabilized. Nothing about it is true.

Your mind is scrambling trying to figure out how anyone could think that, how you can defend yourself and prove it’s untrue, how you can figure out what in the hell is going on. You feel panic, overwhelm, desperation.

You’ve lost your support system. You’re alone, struggling to right yourself. Your focus has shifted entirely to defense – defense from these ridiculous allegations.

You’re so busy trying to defend your character, your good name, that you lose any offensive edge for outing the narcissist’s true self and true reality. You’ve been quieted.

Your defense of yourself, your evidence, your claims that numerous respected people, people that have known you for decades, are lying makes you look crazy. You’re discredited in the eyes of the court, the church, the community.

Threat neutralized.