Fun With Your Narcissist! How To Beat Them At Their Own Game And Enjoy It

Rough Transcript:

hello YouTube thanks for tuning in so
this is going to be a fun video about
having fun with your narcissist how to
beat them at their own game and enjoy it
so before we get into this material got
to put a few disclaimers out there
number one you must understand that this
person has been doing this for a lot
longer than you they’re much more
skilled they are much more passionate
about accomplishing their objectives so
keep that in mind you’re not dealing
with the novice you’re dealing with
someone who has advanced skill in this
disorder so only engage at your own risk
which leads me to disclaimer number two
if there are any risks involved then do
not do any of the techniques I’m about
to describe these should only be tried
with low-level narcissists where there’s
no real threat to your physical person
there’s no threat to your property and
there’s no threat to your livelihood
and number three disclaimer
you should really only do this when
you’re at the tail end of your healing
or when you have healed completely and
maybe this is just a narcissist you
can’t get rid of for different reasons
legal reasons familial reasons for
whatever reason you’re stuck with this
person and the stakes are very very low
and you are healed completely because if
you’re still caught in codependency
these will not go over well for you
because again remember these people are
very skilled at this it’s almost like
they’ve studied it so they’re better at
it than you are
however if you have a bit of a
rebellious instinct if you are at the
tail end of your healing or you heal
completely and if the stakes are low I
say it’s time to have a little bit of
fun with your narcissist okay so there
are a couple of ways to really get under
their skin and it’s so fun to watch
up until this point the narcissus has
relied on your lack of awareness in
order to operate once you become aware
it’s like somebody turned the lights on
they can’t operate as effectively
anymore because you’re now aware the
mistake most codependents make is they
call the narcissists out immediately
they might even call them a narcissist
to their face this is useless this is
pointless because now they’re just going
to go oh oh I got lazy
let me ramp it back up I’m off my game
so they’re just going to turn their
efforts up to get you back in line so
you don’t really want to call them out
on it because now that you’re aware you
can study them and that’s what’s so fun
about these people because they really
are kind of predictable and that’s why a
lot of the videos you’ll hear on YouTube
everyone is kind of saying the same
thing we all use different examples some
of us use similar examples you’ll get
something out of every video you listen
to every time because we’ve all gone
through different versions of this but
part of the reason it’s also similar is
because these people operate in the
exact same way they do not deviate over
time they become predictable part of the
reason I want to do these videos is
because I want to help you be able to
see them as predictable and once you are
you have so much more power and you’re
so much more empowered so here’s how to
have a little bit of fun with your
narcissist ignore them oh if you really
want to get under a narcissus skin
ignore them and there are more ways to
ignore people than just not answering
the phone and not returning a text
message that’s child’s play if you want
to ignore the narcissist
you don’t necessarily downplay their
accomplishment you neutralize it so
let’s say they got a promotion at work
and they went on and on and on about
this promotion you should say something
like that’s really great
and and leave it at that that’s really
great and they’re gonna go where’s the
fanfare where’s the confetti where where
is the red carpet this person is not as
excited about the stuff is I she he or
she usually is because normally you’re
like oh my god that’s awesome
congratulations you work so hard for the
Hat ah you really overcame that crappy
boss you had let’s go out for drinks
let’s celebrate that’s how you normally
are right so this time when they tell
you about their promotion or whatever it
is you go that’s really great that’s
really great I’m sorry it makes me laugh
because it’s going to catch them
off-guard because you’re still
acknowledging it you’re still giving
them some kind of food you know you’re
not flipping it back to yourself you’re
not going to steal the conversation away
from them like they do to you all you’re
doing is just not giving them the
fanfare that they’re accustomed to so
they’re going to tell you about this
awesome thing and you’re going to go
that’s really great that’s a that’s a
form of ignoring someone in a way
because you’re not really playing up
what’s happening in their life okay the
way you’re not a narcissist about it is
that you don’t then snatch the
conversation and turn it to you you let
them have the floor continually and all
you give them is little snack little
bite-size pieces of confirmation that’s
awesome that’s awesome okay here’s
another way to really get under the skin
of your narc notice okay narcissists
will often take a lot of digs at you big
digs little digs little
passive-aggressive maneuvers and once
you recognize them as a narcissist you
understand that they’re doing it to kind
of tear at your self-esteem to chip away
at it
without being out in the front about it
right without being overt about it so
when you notice their digs if you
normally kind of react or you find
yourself defending yourself or you have
some kind of reaction to their dig
just ignore it or just pretend you
didn’t hear it or here’s one of my
favorites just play dumb oh man
play dumb playing dumb is the equivalent
of playing dead there are lots of
animals in the animal kingdom that when
they are in the face of their predator
they just play dead and the predator
leaves them alone because it’s no fun
because part of the fun for the predator
is the kill the chase and the kill so if
you’re just laying there playing dead
then they’re not going to have any fun
they’re gonna kick around at your feet a
little bit they’re gonna poke you with a
stick when you’re not moving they’re
gonna walk away cuz you’re no fun okay
so play dumb play dead
pretend not to hear it or fake like you
heard something else entirely and
respond to that like they like to screw
with your mind so you screw it there’s a
little bit you know if they’re like oh I
see you’re wearing summer shoes in the
wintertime be like they have this
awesome sale on winter boots did you see
that sale at Macy’s like it it’s funny
to me because you know it really
requires you to stay in the moment and
to maintain a presence of mind about the
whole situation but when you do it it’s
funny because in the RIT here’s why it’s
not evil because someone might listen to
this and go well you’re just acting just
like them
no you’re just returning to them what
they give to you every day you’re giving
to them what they give to you every
single day why is it okay to do little
digs at you why is it okay to showboat
and never let you have have the floor
and never let you have accomplishments
and something that you’re happy about
why is it always their show so when you
do these little things to them it kind
of brings them back to earth and remind
them hey you’re a human being I know
you’re missing the empathy chip I don’t
know what happened I don’t know that’s a
birth injury or something that happened
after you were already here but you’re
missing that and I get that but you’re
still a human being and you have to be a
good person alright
so here’s another technique that you can
use have a little fun with your
narcissist if your narcissist is verbose
meaning they talk a lot and not just
talk a lot they dominate the
conversation it’s usually all about them
and they never flip it back to you it’s
not a reciprocal conversation it’s a
monologue it’s a one-man or a one-woman
show if your narcissistic
the next time they call you and you have
an opportunity to actually speak jump
right in sentence after sentence after
sentence after sentence after sentence
after sentence don’t breathe keep it
going sentence after sentence after
sentence after sentence after sentence
changed the subject change it back
sentence after sentence after sentence
after sentence you’re narcissists will
be so overwhelmed because a they’re not
used to listening to anybody but
themselves talk B they’re trying to like
keep up with all these words and they
can’t they’re getting clustered C
they’re trying to figure out how they’re
ever going to turn it back to them and
if they can’t get it back to them how
they’re going to get off the phone and D
they’re just sitting there wondering
what just happens wait a minute this is
not how this goes he or she must be on
drugs today because normally I’m the one
doing all the all the talking this is my
show wait what happened here
so is if they talk too much you have to
jump in right away because if you don’t
they’re gonna steal the show from you so
as soon as you pick up the phone oh my
god I’m so glad you just called I just
almost got an accident on the highway
but I’m okay now
everything’s fine you know the cops said
that it wasn’t my fault
so they didn’t give me a ticket did you
know that you have to call those kinds
of things into your insurance and I
didn’t know that and it really upset me
and I was on hold for twenty I mean just
go just take off running keep a little
bullet list a little bulleted list in
front of you if you need to in order to
keep the subjects going if you’re not
used to doing that much talking try it a
couple times if you can get through it
without laughing because you’ll probably
start laughing because it’s hysterical
because who does that