How would each MBTI type handle being a mother? What would be your specific advice for each time at being a better mother?

ESTJ

– Highly capable and responsible, will organise and align their children to a set standard they expect that was established from their own experiences growing up.

– Will struggle extremely with applying a necessary sensitive approach to avoid greater parental problems, choosing instead to maintain a solid logic driven answer to all problems.

ISTJ

– With little support, they will still hold their offspring up and would equally baby them as much as they are hard on them to make them the best they can be based off of their own standards.

-Will struggle with understanding the need to allow some freedom out of the norm they know and consider acceptable.

ESFJ

– Reluctant mothers unless social expectations force them into it, at their best, will be highly understanding and accepting and seemingly will have a relaxed but firm way of keeping things in order.

– Will struggle with acknowledging critical flaws in their approaches to parenting that may lead to fatal consequences for their children if they don’t have a point of support with someone with better judgement in that area. Will fall into neglecting their parental duties if their personal needs are not met.

ISFJ

– Highly capable mothers, knowing how to calmly but effectively nurture and demand respect and order when necessary, will do their best to keep their children on the path to what they have come to know as a good life.

-Will struggle extremely if they have no support to relieve them of the responsibility of keeping everything in relentless strict order, having a partner is for them a necessity that is hard for to ignore when they have offspring.

ESFP

– Highly caring will always make it clear they would die for their children and carry the world if necessary, usually very lenient choosing to listen and find a compromise with their children as a friend.

-Will struggle with individually keeping order of even the most basic things, will not sacrifice being adored and socially accepted for enforcement of necessary order and rules. Left alone in the venture, they might fall into creating a household that is too volatile and lenient to be safe and effective for good development .

ISFP

– Seemingly stable, with a reliable partner, will make sure to shower their offspring with love inspired gifts and try to give them the best life possible in accordance to their current social norm.

-Will crumble when left to the responsibility individually, will be easily taken advantage of when they want to avoid conflict and choose to be lenient.

ESTP

– Easily exemplified by the female lion raising its cubs, the basic understanding of what being a mother is stays firmly edged in them and they will use a constant and singular logical judgement to deal with everything that is required in the process.

-Will struggle with taking responsibility and when they don’t have their feelings acknowledged, will temporarily turn violent.

ISTP

– Generally unfit and or unwilling mothers, have solid expectations that they will not shift on no matter what, will approach the task as a forced responsibility that they will let go off when they are logically or legally allowed to do so.

-Will struggle with being emotionally supportive and available, won’t try to build a bond with their offspring unless it is socially required or relevant.

ENFJ

– Highly caring and available mothers, always there when their children cry out and will not let much go unresolved, usually knows when to stop the fun and demand order and functionality, always thinking about their children’s future, they will do whatever it takes to build a great future for them.

-Will be an easy victim of emotional manipulation leading to many critically damaging leniencies, will not care about much else when their basic needs are not met, will need support from a partner holding a stricter approach to parenting.

INFJ

– Extremely affectionate and available for their offspring, will gladly take on the world to protect them, they study them to the point of knowing how to effectively and calmly demand order when it is needed, will be open to their offspring being whatever they desire, simply choosing to support them and be a source of inspiration for them.

-Will close off and handle constant and persistent undermining or their feelings with brief and sharp displays of power.

ENTP

– Highly responsible with a brilliant ability to be both an understanding and lenient parent their offspring can joke with and also a strict and extremely logic driven parent with little tolerance for reckless or harmful behaviours, they naturally know how to keep order and push their offspring toward a future with great potential and variety while still being emotionally available for them whenever they are needed in that way.

-Will not enjoy having to individually take on the responsibility majority of the time if it suffocates their need for free thinking and exploration.

INTP

– Takes their responsibilities with a firm yet lenient approach, highly value quality time and creating memories with their offspring, will do what they can to set them up for the best life they can have.

-Will struggle with upholding necessary rules and lines that should not be crossed in trying to avoid future problems, has a low tolerance for lacks in adherence to their own social expectations and will gladly impose their will onto their offspring if given the chance( usually in the early years of development), can be accused of being open minded in ways they do not need to be and should not be.

ENFP

– An exemplary level of caring and supportive parenting, they do whatever they can to keep their offspring happy and out of danger, in many ways they try and establish themselves as the first person their children think of when they need support or a shoulder to cry on, they will quickly adapt and act when they need to take full and sole responsibility for them.

-Will struggle with creating and effectively upholding rules of engagement, will need to be dragged to their limits to snap and enforce a strict and unwavering order

INFP

– Have an extreme love for their offspring and will gladly do anything for them, tries to free up their offspring to making their own life and focuses on giving them the options they should need in accordance to what they see fit and what they have experienced growing up.

-Will not be good at carrying on an intended strict order, has a small battery for managing the many requirements of maintaining functionality and and stability, will crumble without support unless favourable circumstances are present.

ENTJ

– Hard set objectivity with an unwavering need to build a bright future for their offspring, little time spent attending to sensitivities, all is dealt with a consideration of the big picture or long term goal hence many things will only appear in their true caring intention in the actual future, all things done are with a sharp eye set constantly on the future, allows their children to make their own decisions.

-Will have a hard time adjusting to sensitivities that may make or break bonds with their offspring, low tolerance for slacking from their children that takes them off path.

INTJ

– Highly balanced and capable, above loving their children to extreme and unwavering lengths they will take the responsibility as another thing to perfect and do as rightly and appropriately as possible, will seemingly be a rock for their children as a source of solutions and emotional support when desperately needed, strict rules and stability are firmly maintained in all areas necessary, their offspring will be positioned and trained to be able to support themselves and be the best version they can be.

-Will struggle with acknowledging the time for them to stop being responsible and release built up tension in a healthy way, has little room for potentially needed leniency.

*Edit to make easier format for reading*

Modern Motherhood

Just ahead of Mother’s Day, Molly Millwood, Ph.D. in clinical psychology on the faculty at Saint Michael’s College in Vermont and the author of To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma (Harper Wave, 2019), offers a psychologist’s insights into the often unsettling terrain of new motherhood.

Mothers have a different experience with time.  Their husbands often don’t loose the same amount of leisure time.

Even with supportive fathers, there is still a disparity between the amount of time demands on fathers and mothers.

Walmart Builds a Secret Weapon to Battle Amazon for Retail’s Future

The world’s largest retailer is using Jetblack, a money-losing personal-shopping service, to develop artificial intelligence to compete with e-commerce giant Amazon

Walmart is using Jetblack’s army of human agents to train an artificial intelligence system that could someday power an automated personal-shopping service, preparing Walmart for a time when the search bar disappears and more shopping is done through voice-activated devices, said Jetblack CEO Jenny Fleiss.

.. Walmart is competing with Amazon, which has $233 billion in annual sales, including web services.

.. Walmart is the world’s biggest retailer by revenue, with $514 billion in annual sales, but e-commerce makes up only a small percentage. That’s out of sync with where retail is growing fastest. Across the U.S., online shopping accounted for 9.7% of total retail sales last year and grew 14.2% from the previous year, according to the Commerce Department.

Walmart bought India’s biggest e-commerce site. It has been buying up small online retailers including men’s apparel company Bonobos and is testing autonomous cargo vans for home grocery delivery in places such as Surprise, Ariz.

.. it is one of the biggest gambles Walmart is making to attract wealthy shoppers and burnish its tech credentials.

Walmart primarily views the company as a research hub on AI and voice shopping.

.. Marc Lore, head of Walmart’s U.S. e-commerce business, had in mind a Jetblack-like service before Walmart bought his e-commerce startup Jet.com in 2016. That website sells products that appeal to urban shoppers, including higher-end brands that won’t sell on Walmart.com.

Mr. Lore was fascinated by the idea of a premium service that allowed shoppers to order products for speedy delivery by speaking into the air, said people familiar with his thinking. “This is a Marc Lore passion project,” said one former Walmart executive.

.. One former Walmart executive said Jetblack is “the first thing that we’ve tried that will unwind you” consistently from Amazon Prime. “The early indication is that it has legs,” even if the point isn’t earning profits, the former executive said.

Jetblack members are spending an average of $300 a week for products because the ease of the service encourages more frequent purchases ..

.. The average shopper is buying more than 10 items a week, said Ms. Fleiss. Average spending a week is higher than last September, said a company spokesman, but he declined to say how much Jetblack members spend a week or how many of those products come from Walmart.

.. Customer-service agents, often recent college graduates drawn to the startup culture of Jetblack, need to become experts on wealthy New York City moms. Agents have two weeks of training, in part to learn what products babies need as they move through different developmental phases so they can make better product recommendations.

.. Moms—the vast majority of members—sometimes text fast requests like “reorder cereal.” When a Jetblack member joins, an employee usually goes to the customer’s home to inventory the products the person uses, giving agents a database of frequent purchases. Software automatically suggests a product if it is a frequent purchase or was scanned in the customer’s home.

.. It takes agents slightly longer to place an order for “item requests,” when the shopper knows exactly what they want but hasn’t ordered it before. Even more time-consuming are “recommendations,” open-ended requests such as “I need a new yoga mat” or “I need a birthday present for a 9-year-old.”

.. Agents consult a file that combines past purchases, products agents have researched and recommendations made by Jetblack merchandising workers, then suggest around three items for the customer to choose from, current and former employees said. Sometimes agents head to Google to do research, said one of these people.

.. Through the dialogue, the system is learning which follow up questions to ask, said Ms. Fleiss. For example, if a shopper asks for a new stroller, the system might learn to next ask “For how many children?” and “Do you need your child to nap in the stroller?” Members buy one of the recommended products 80% of the time, she said.

.. Jetblack also learned it still needs traditional technology. It created a companion app because some shoppers don’t like to update credit card information or review past orders over text.

Workers stock up on frequently purchased items by taking a daily van to a Jet.com warehouse and Walmart stores in New Jersey, since New York City has no physical Walmart stores, ordering products online for pickup. Later this year Jetblack plans to use a new Walmart fulfillment center in the Bronx to collect some products faster, said a spokesman.

Kick Against the Pricks

It turns out that in the tallest skyscrapers and plushest hotels of the most advanced economies, many high-profile men have been acting the part of feudal lords, demanding droit du seigneur from their vassals, the vassals in this case being their female employees and others wishing entry into their fiefdoms. Evidently there’s been a covert system of taxation on female advancement in the work world, with the unluckier among us obligated to render not just the usual fealty demanded by overweening bosses but varying degrees of sexual homage too, from ego-stroking and fluffing (which is gross enough), to being grabbed and groped, to the expectation of silence about full-on rape.

.. historians have written extensively on the importance of gossip and its venues, such as coffeehouses, in fomenting previous revolutions

.. Every revolution has its weapons of choice—once it was muskets and guillotines, this time around it’s “sharing” and media exposure. It wasn’t heads that were rolling, it was careers: contracts yanked, deals canceled, agents quitting, e-mail accounts shuttered.

.. When the Times recently compiled the names of twenty-four prominent men accused of sexual harassment, it did rather bring to mind the spectacle of heads on a pike in a public square

.. If recent events tell us anything, it’s that power is a social agreement, not a stable entity. The despots had power because they did things that were socially valued and profitable, but the terms of the agreement can shift abruptly.

.. Social upheavals like the current one—chaotic and improvised, yet destined—happen when certain echelons retract their consent to existing conditions and make new demands. Gramsci calls it “war of position.” Toppling power isn’t about storming the Bastille these days, it’s about changing the way people talk and think. If our upheavals come dressed in different garb, creating a crisis of authority for those in power is still how the world changes.

.. But speaking of unlikely agents, that one of the more significant battlefield wins recently was achieved by a former Miss America, Gretchen Carlson, is tough for those who’d prefer their feminist victories to come from women with better feminist credentials.

.. Unfortunately you won’t learn any of this from Be Fierce—you don’t get $20 million without a nondisclosure agreement.

.. It’s from Sherman we learn that Carlson secretly recorded her meetings with Ailes on her phone for a year and a half—including his remark that the two of them should have had sex long ago to resolve their differences, spoken sometime before she was fired (after an eleven-year stint as a newscaster) and sometime after she lodged complaints about the climate of sexism at Fox, for which Ailes labeled her a “man hater” and demoted her.

.. The less job security you have, the worse it is; fast food workers are especially vulnerable.

.. Women who come forward are likely to be passed over for promotions and good assignments, or find their jobs mysteriously eliminated.

.. On rare occasions when a boss-harasser is actually fired, the woman who brought him down often gets treated like a leper by his allies. The majority of those who report harassment end up in different jobs, which makes it understandable that, according to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, 70 percent of women who are harassed don’t report it.

.. Have a plan before you go to HR or you’ll find your options predetermined; you may have a mandatory arbitration clause in your employment contract you don’t know about

.. Trump himself boasts of barging into dressing rooms in the Miss Teen USA contest to gape at unclothed teenage girls. Upon purchasing the Miss USA franchise, he says, he “made the heels higher and the bathing suits smaller.”

.. The “idealized pedestal” Miss America gets put on is itself a form of disempowerment, Carlson eventually came to realize. True, and if you flip to your local Fox affiliate, you’ll see the same compliant femininity distilled to its purest iteration. Like beauty contestants, the women of Fox are hired on the basis of looks, then laminated into near mannequins.

.. The point is that the way Ailes expected “his” women to dress makes clear the role they were expected to play: receptacles

.. If those who signed on had difficulty speaking out about harassment in the workplace because they felt shame regarding the trade-offs they’d made—and many have said that they did—shame is what women are meant to feel in this equation.

.. The convenience of misogyny is that men are spared from hating themselves because they have women to hate instead.

.. You want to know when to tell someone to shut up and when to jump out of a moving car.

This would also involve the ability to distinguish between force and power.

.. Those who didn’t buy into it seem to have fared better. The actress Lupita Nyong’o recalled several encounters with Weinstein in an essay for The New York Times. When he trotted out his familiar moves, she refused to play the expected role: when he asked to give her a massage, she turned the tables and gave him one instead, consciously putting herself in control of the situation. When he tried taking off his pants, she walked to the door, not giving him the satisfaction of seeming intimidated. And he backed down. She seems to have understood that Weinstein may have had power over her career, but he didn’t have power over her, and making that distinction gave her more options for negotiating a bad situation.

.. Anthony Weiner has been the public face of the sexual tic for some years now: a man of demonstrable intelligence under the sway of a compulsion so intellectually disabling that after a string of previous life-wrecking exposures, he still allowed himself to be set up once again, this time by a fifteen-year-old. Anyone could have seen from ten miles away that it was a frame—anyone but Weiner, that is. (The girl later said she was trying to influence the course of the 2016 presidential election, which she probably did—James Comey reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s e-mails after seizing Weiner’s computer once his new friend turned him in.)

.. feminist Dorothy Dinnerstein’s The Mermaid and the Minotaur (1976): the problem for men is that they had mothers.

.. Mother-dominated child-rearing, thought Dinnerstein, is the reason behind men’s loathing of women and everything culturally inscribed as female

.. men can’t give up ruling the world until women cease to have a monopoly on ruling childhood. To push Dinnerstein’s speculations to an even gloomier place: do mothers take out on their sons the abuses they themselves have suffered at the hands of men?

..  Online feminism is itself a playground of bullying and viperishness, most of it under the banner of rectitude.

 

Ivanka Trump has learned well from her father’s cons

Ivanka Trump is for working women the way her father is for the working class: In both cases, the Trumps really just want their money.

President Trump’s daughter built her brand around women’s “empowerment,” by which I mean monetizing the anxieties and insecurities of stressed-out moms.

From the beginning, her stated goal was to help professional women dig deep down inside their souls and tap their inner purchasing power. She launched her jewelry line because the “concept of a self-purchasing female was lost among the traditional jewelers,” her website explains without apparent irony.

.. So what are Trump’s feminist bona fides, ..

.. She publicly advocates paid family leave, even though she contracted out the designs of her clothing line to a firm that offered zero weeks of paid maternity leave.

.. And on Equal Pay Day this year, she posted on Instagram that “it is the responsibility of all Americans to come together in pursuit of equal pay.”

Last week, however, she publicly endorsed a White House decision to trample a modest equal-pay enforcement initiative.

.. And rather than the usual “anonymous source” leaks about how Ivanka Trump really, truly didn’t want such a dreadful thing to happen, she released a statement offering her blessing.

.. It’s a trick Ivanka Trump learned well from her father.

Papa Trump, after all, ran on a platform of helping the fabled Forgotten Man through promises to

  • plump his paycheck,
  • revive his obsoleted jobs,
  • discount his health care and otherwise
  • return him to his former economic and cultural glory.

.. Trump is hellbent on passing a massive tax cut for the rich. Right now the tax cut looks to be unfunded. Just because it isn’t being paid for now, though, doesn’t mean it will go unpaid-for forever.

Rosy scenario notwithstanding, at some point the U.S. government will have to make good on its accumulating debts, through some combination of future tax hikes and spending cuts.

Motherhood Isn’t Sacrifice, It’s Selfishness

My mother was only trying to be sympathetic to my life as a working mother, but the self-satisfied way she proclaimed the sacrificial nature of motherhood grated. I don’t believe for one second that motherhood is the hardest job in the world nor that it is all sacrifice. Still, it wasn’t fair to blame her; she was merely parroting a common refrain. Once my annoyance lifted, in its place spread a kind of clarity that helped me to understand how these linguistic tropes reinforce the disempowerment of mothers and women.

The assertion of motherhood as sacrifice comes with a perceived glorification. A woman is expected to sacrifice her time, ambition and sense of self to a higher purpose, one more worthy than her own individual identity. This leaves a vacuum in the place of her value, one that others rush to fill.

When a woman becomes pregnant, she seems to become public property. Perhaps because bearing children ensures the continuation of the species, it is often prioritized as part of a larger social contract. Not only does this logic lead to an attempt to legislate women’s bodies, but also in smaller, everyday gestures, boundaries get crossed. Many friends tell stories about being touched by strangers during pregnancy, as if a woman’s maternal status turns her into a vessel to handle.

Written more than 30 years ago, Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale” offers a cautionary tale of womanhood as sacrifice. In this dystopic novel, women are grouped according to the uses men determine for them: namely, sterile wives married for appearance or fertile “handmaids,” who are raped routinely for procreation. One male character declares that the woman must “learn in silence with all subjection” and that “she shall be saved by childbearing.” In this scenario, the act of motherhood is subverted for the benefit of those in power, and they get away with it because of the concept of motherhood as sacrifice.

When we cling to the idea of motherhood as sacrifice, what we really sacrifice is our sense of self, as if it is the price we pay for having children.

.. In my experience, when women talk among women, our ambivalence or frustration is rarely about our roles as mothers. (That doesn’t mean our kids don’t drive us crazy sometimes.) Rather, conversations turn to questions of how to manage the best part of our lives (those very kids who are driving us crazy) with our partners, careers and other responsibilities.
.. Calling motherhood “the hardest job in the world” misses the point completely because having and raising children is not a “job.” No one will deny that there is exhaustion, fear and tedium. Raising a family is hard work, but so is every other meaningful aspect of our lives.
.. Fathers are rarely, if ever, spoken about in the same way that mothers are. It’s culturally acceptable for men to have children and professional identities without having to choose between the two. These unspoken biases run deep.

In their last days together, a mother and son clung to what bonded them together

My mom had an approach to parenting, a philosophy. She saw raising kids as a happy endeavor, more adventure than science, and she aimed to show me and my two siblings that the world was an amiable place — that you could wander around in it and see interesting things, and then come home and sleep in your own bed, unscathed.

.. In 1994, when I became a parent myself, she offered me an observation instead of advice: “You expect your children to become clones of yourself,” she wrote in a letter, summing up her own parental journey, “but they don’t, and for that you are secretly glad.”

.. So eventually, in my mom’s final year, I began camping, clandestinely, on the grounds of her retirement home. There was a patch of forest, a grove of pines and maples and oaks, down a wheelchair-friendly path away from the parking lot

.. My mom was a lifelong hiker and cross-country skier. Her advice to anyone suffering angst was simple: “Just go outside and get some fresh air!”

.. My mom, and my mom alone, had read every word that I’d ever published. She had borne witness to my tricks for over 50 years, and she had amassed an infinitude of details on who I was and how I might behave in every scenario.