How do you know if an INTJ becomes your close friend? INFJ here

INTJ are very strategic and enjoy time alone so if they are spending a fair amount of time with you (a day or two a week) and they discuss anything personal with you than you have earned their trust and they value your company enough to say you are getting close or are close.

We are very happy to be by ourselves so if i let someone in my personal space (my home) and they can just chill and i don’t need to entertain them or even talk much then they are rare.

I love when a person can just be at my place but not bother me or talk to much or expect anything from me. That’s the kind of person I’ll tell they can come over whenever.

INTJ Relationships

I would take my clues form a study of successful long-term relationships. The official MBTI people commissioned such a study and saw how types survived in 25 year marriages. The most likely pairings of N types generally were paired with people with 1 or 2 letters different, i.e. similar but not identical. So, depending upon the goal flip one or two letters ENTJ, ISTJ, INFJ, INTP, ESTJ, ISFJ, INFP. For management, I might omit the P-types. And, with the -T (turbulent) I might go for just the 1 letter differences to minimize conflicts). Thus, ENTJ, ISTJ, or INFJ. The exact best choice probably depends upon the individual as all INTJs are not the same and the individual specifics here might make a big difference. I would also avoid another turbulent (-T) type to minimize conflicts getting out of hand.

If an INFJ and INTJ like alone time so much, how do they ever end up together?

As an INTJ; I love my alone time. However, I am not secluded and disconnected from the rest of society. With INFJs, we just get each other. Our introverted intuitions mean I can explain how I got to Z from A; and the INFJ would fill in the blank. Its refreshing.

As to how we end up together; I can’t say I know for sure. There isn’t a secret formula, or a hidden frequency we broadcast to attract other types we may deem compatible with. I personally like to scan the horizon before approaching someone. May this be at school, at a party, or during a work meeting. I don’t like being that one person in the corner by myself. I look at how they behave, how they act, how they speak; and usually the person I end up with can turn out to be an INFJ among two or three other types.

While initially I may spend just some time with just about any personality type; 2 min with the ENFJ, 2 min with the ENFP and 2 min with the INFJ; I usually find the 2 min I spent with the INFJ to be more fulfilling to the point where I may want to drag the 2 min to 5 min to 2 hours; and before we know it, we are both leaving our bubbles to create a new one to accommodate the other person.