Because the majority of people have the idea that the way to know someone is by understanding them. Yet at the same time, one of the most popular attitudes among people is to expect and count on others to present everything they want to know on a silver platter and then spoon feed them every bite of information that is easy to swallow and effortlessly digested—they want it to be a piece of cake.
And boy does this have a tendency to torture INFJs. Because an INFJ’s natural response is to automatically expend a lot of their focused time and energy that others seem to require from them. INFJs will put forth any extra effort it may take just to make themselves a little bit easier to understand. And if this gets them nowhere and if others get nothing they’re attempting to offer, then usually INFJs will resort to sparing others from the hassle it will become altogether. A lot of times INFJs will opt to not put themselves nor others through the trouble. Whenever an INFJ exposes any of their heart’s more abstract pieces to others or anything deep and vast, the moment they are met with excessive frustration or any overtly negative reactions, they will most likely make the decision to keep things light, superficial, and simple.
First of all, INFJs are NOT easy to understand. And we can say that of ourselves because we know firsthand how gosh darn infuriating it can be to understand us. We can’t even understand ourselves half of the time for crying out loud. So us INFJs will end up straining and stressing our minds in trying to pacify the way others have become largely accustomed to getting things that they can grasp easily, quickly and freely. INFJs are not the best at explaining themselves, and they feel like others expect them to, so they will often go ahead and try in vain with their high hopes pushing them to do so.
Secondly, there are a whole lot of things that an INFJ simply cannot explain no matter how well they understand it. There’s a large portion of an INFJ that is in fact inexplicable. And for many people, this doesn’t sit well with them and it makes a lot people feel more than a bit uncomfortable. INFJs will keep to themselves more and they won’t divulge very much with others who feel unsettled by mystery.
There are other reasons too, such as difficulties with trusting others, a strong aversion towards being vulnerable, and trouble identifying and wording their emotions in the moment as well as many more annoying issues, I’m sure. But that’s all I felt like focusing on at the moment. And right now I’m a bit exhausted so Goodnight Quora, you beautiful thing you! And sweet dreams😉😴😴😴