It can feel like a great idea to call a narcissist out and tell them who they really are. But can anything good come of it?
It can be a very emotional experience when we find the information that allows us to understand why this person behaves the way they do. And even though the information is shocking it makes so much sense. All the pieces add up. And at this time it is very likely to feel an intense urge to tell the narcissist who they really are. In this week’s video we deeply investigate the urge so many of us have to call the narcissist out and let them know they have pathological narcissism … I’m going to explain why you should never act on the urge and what is the most beneficial thing to do for you and your healing instead.
Understand WHY you want to know this. Maybe you are dealing with an ageing narcissist and feeling traumatised, because you are so tied into responsibility and duty to them. Or, perhaps you have been devastated by a narcissist, who seems to be having it all now, and you now wonder if the karma bus will strike as they age. This is normal … and TOTALLY understandable! But wondering and watching and still being hooked into the narcissist’s progress and results is SO not healthy for us. (I promise you very SOON you will understand WHY!) In today’s Thriver TV episode, I am excited to share with you the TRUTH about what is going on with narcissists as they age. And it’s my greatest desire that you will receive relief, closure and the added power to heal and move on into your True Self and True Life, as a result of today’s video. ⬇️
Narcissists hurt people … a LOT. In ways that seem senseless, cruel, barbaric and insane. Why do they do this? Why do they ALL seem to do this? We know narcissists are self-absorbed and lack a conscience, but what is really going on for them to be able to do to people the things that they DO? Today’s Thriver TV is a deep dive to understand what REALLY is going here…
The effectiveness of action depends on the source from which it springs. If it is coming out of the false self with its shadow side, it is severely limited. If it is coming out of a person who is immersed in God, it is extremely effective. The contemplative state, like the vocation of Our Lady, brings Christ into the world. —Thomas Keating 
.. I founded the Center for Action and Contemplation in 1987 because I saw a deep need for the integration of both action and contemplation. Over the years, I met many social activists who were doing excellent social analysis and advocating for crucial justice issues, but they were not working from an energy of love. They were still living out of their false self with the need to win, the need to look good—attached to a superior, politically correct self-image.
They might have the answer, but they are not themselves the answer. In fact, they are often part of the problem. That’s one reason that most revolutions fail and too many reformers self-destruct from within. For that very reason, I believe, Jesus and great spiritual teachers first emphasize transformation of consciousness and soul. Without inner transformation, there is no grounded or lasting reform or revolution. When subjugated people rise to power, they often become as dominating as their oppressors because the same demon of power hasn’t been exorcised in them.
We are easily allured by the next new thing, a new agenda that looks like enlightenment. And then we discover it’s run by unenlightened people who, in fact, love themselves first of all but do not love God or others. They do not really love the Big Truth, but they often love control. Too often, they do not love freedom for everybody but just freedom for their own ideas.
Untransformed liberals often lack the ability to sacrifice the self or create foundations that last. They can’t let go of their own need for change and cannot stand still in a patient, compassionate, and humble way. It is no surprise that Jesus prayed not just for fruit, but “fruit that will last” (John 15:16). Untransformed conservatives, on the other hand, tend to idolize anything that lasts, but then avoid the question, “Is it actually bearing any fruit?” This is the perennial battle between idealism and pragmatism, or romanticism and rationalism.
If we are going to have truly prophetic people who go beyond the categories of liberal and conservative, we have to teach them some way to integrate their needed activism with a truly contemplative mind and heart. I’m convinced that once you learn how to look out at life from the contemplative eyes of the True Self, your politics and economics are going to change on their own. I don’t need to teach you what your politics should or shouldn’t be. Once you see things contemplatively, you’ll begin to seek the bias from the bottom instead of the top, you’ll be free to embrace your shadow, and you can live at peace with those who are different. From a contemplative stance, you’ll know what action is yours to do—and what is not yours to do—almost naturally.