Let me give it to you straight.
When a narcissist can no longer control you, they seek to control the way others see you.
The narcissist is solely motivated by two things:
- Obtaining narcissistic supply
- Preserving their idealized self and made-up version of reality
You are someone who has the power to disrupt both of those things. You have the power to expose their true self and reveal the truth behind their made-up world.
The more you know, the more of their truth you’ve seen, the more dangerous you are.
You are a threat that must be neutralized.
At this point, the narcissist needs to destabilize, quiet, and discredit you as quickly as possible.
Turns out this is pretty simple. They have a legion of flying monkeys prepped and ready to jump to their aid.
What is a flying monkey?
Flying monkeys are people groomed by the narcissist to abuse the narcissist’s victims.
The narcissist has power and control over them. Flying monkeys believe whatever the narcissist says without discernment, meaning they have no interest in determining if it’s actually true. The flying monkeys go to extreme lengths to propagate this “truth,” and deliver your punishment.
Now you’d think these dangerous people would be obvious — dressed in black walking two steps behind them like their lackeys – but you’d be wrong. The narcissist’s flying monkeys are YOUR family, YOUR friends, YOUR co-workers, YOUR neighbors, in addition to their friends, family, and co-workers.
Until you see the truth, the dance between narcissist and flying monkeys is invisible to the victim. Together, they deliver the abuse.
The best part (for the narcissist) is, they can do all of this without you knowing. That’s how they destabilize you.
The narcissist has shared “in confidence” heinous, far-fetched allegations…
- You never gave them a birthday gift for decades.
- You stowed money offshore.
- You stole money from the kids.
- You had numerous affairs.
- You were fired for misconduct.
- You were abusive to them.
- You neglected the kids.
- You killed their pet.
I say “in confidence” because the narcissist uses this strategy to make the flying monkey feel special while hoping that the allegation is spread far and wide.
Mind you, despite the lack of any credible evidence, the flying monkey believes this allegation as if it were from God’s mouth. Because they worship the narcissist, in some ways it is.
After a period of time, often in the midst of a legal or other proceeding, you hear the allegation for the first time.
You are stunned — destabilized. Nothing about it is true.
Your mind is scrambling trying to figure out how anyone could think that, how you can defend yourself and prove it’s untrue, how you can figure out what in the hell is going on. You feel panic, overwhelm, desperation.
You’ve lost your support system. You’re alone, struggling to right yourself. Your focus has shifted entirely to defense – defense from these ridiculous allegations.
You’re so busy trying to defend your character, your good name, that you lose any offensive edge for outing the narcissist’s true self and true reality. You’ve been quieted.
Your defense of yourself, your evidence, your claims that numerous respected people, people that have known you for decades, are lying makes you look crazy. You’re discredited in the eyes of the court, the church, the community.
Threat neutralized.
This answer is for informational and educational purposes only an…
Separating children from their parents isn’t just immoral. It also threatens our national security.
The American Public Health Association wrote that the trauma from such separation could lead to alcoholism, substance abuse, depression, obesity and suicide. (While the White House says the policy will end for future migrants, it will still affect the thousands of children currently in custody.)
.. But even for those who believe immigration lawbreakers deserve punishment, there’s another argument against separating children from their families: national security. The government’s policy puts the United States at risk, in both the short and long term, by breeding a generation of children with psychological problems and a population elsewhere that reviles us. Traumatized children are prime recruits for extremist groups.
Their children and children’s children grow up in the shadow of, to use the language of 9,300 mental health experts, “shrapnel of this traumatic experience embedded in their minds.” As adults, these traumatized children are significantly more likely to have encounters with law enforcement.
.. An extensive body of literature documents how early childhood trauma creates cycles of violence that can destabilize whole nations.
.. most “deterrence” interventions, including jailing and family separation, actually triggered increased terrorist attacks.
.. In North America, the survivors of forced attendance in American Indian boarding schools have seen the effects reverberate for years. Scholars in Canada have drawn causal links between boarding school attendance (sometimes for children as young as 3) in the 1900s and elevated levels of depression, drug use and criminal behavior two generations later.
.. Native American women sent to boarding schools as girls were six times more likely to be incarcerated than their white counterparts and had a 57 percent higher rate of alcoholism as adults.
.. A 2016 study of 15,587 adult children of incarcerated parents found that separating children from parents directly increased interactions with the criminal justice system, including drug abuse and gang affiliation.
.. Syrian children separated from their support systems are “more likely to become
- the youngest laborers in the factory,
- the youngest brides at the altar, and
- the youngest soldiers in the trench.”
.. The individual suffering of older children is immediately consequential to our security because incarceration centers have become recruiting grounds for armed groups. Trump’s favorite boogeyman, the MS-13 gang from which so many Salvadorans flee, was founded in Los Angeles prisons. The United States is keenly aware that young people can be easily radicalized while imprisoned
.. We have seen the radicalization of incarcerated youths firsthand. One of us, Steven Leach, spent years working with South African juveniles awaiting trial. These youths did not all enter detention as organized criminals, but without exception, among those who worked with Leach, each left prison a member of the gang.
.. A similar problem emerged in the internment camps of the Anglo-Boer war, in which British soldiers detained civilians to deter guerrilla campaigns by Boer insurgents. Approximately 115,000 people were held in the camps between 1901 and 1902; 22,000 Afrikaner children died. More than a century later, that horror remains at the forefront of the Afrikaner imagination
.. He leverages lies to stoke fear here: “We don’t want what is happening with immigration in Europe to happen with us!”
..Naturally, this feeds radical anti-American sentiment and promotes nationalism abroad when the U.S. is most in need of alliances to solve global problems.
.. There is now strong evidence that punitive deterrence strategies don’t work, no matter how burdensome they are.
.. punishments between 2000 and 2015 effectively reduced economic migration from Mexico but had negligible impact on the population the administration is targeting with its current policy: asylum seekers fleeing violence.
The report points out that there is no consequence worse than death and violence at home for these migrants.
.. If these are people we want as enemies, we had better be prepared for a multigenerational war.