Sociologists have long theorized that being the more committed partner in a romantic relationship is a very uncomfortable place to be. “If one lover is considerably more involved than the other, his greater commitment invites exploitation or provokes feelings of entrapment, both of which obliterate love,”
.. The person with the least interest in continuing the association has the power to dictate the terms on which it will continue.
.. The couples who live together are at higher risk of asymmetrical commitment than are those who merely date (42 percent to 30 percent).
.. “It is immensely dissatisfying and frustrating to be the more committed partner in an unequally committed relationship,”
.. Were these asymmetrical relationships more likely to break up? Yes, overall, but when the scholars looked closer they found that this was mostly true when the less committed partner was a woman. “Overall, women’s levels of commitment were vastly more predictive than men’s levels of who stayed together and who did not (five times more predictive),”
.. Men prefer having a woman, even one they aren’t that into, to not having a woman. Women more often prefer being alone to being in a poor-quality relationship.
.. “more people are finding themselves in long-term, unmarried relationships, sometimes for many years, before they realize that their partner is just not that into them. Sliding into moving together or having a child together is often not transformative.” If you want a happy and stable marriage, don’t slide, decide.