INNER PEACE For ENFPs and ENTPs…Fixing Overthinking – Dreams Around The World

you know some friends have talked to me about living with your partner and the
way a lot of people look at moving in with someone is like testing it’s like
okay we’ll move in together and I can test if I’m compatible with them and to
me this is like setting yourself up for disaster because you’re going in with a
headspace of testing them where what do you do when you test you look for flaws
you look for what doesn’t work you look for kind of bad things that’s part of
the whole mindset going in right and so the opposite to that is looking at okay
I’m going to make this relationship work I’m committed to this so I’m never
second-guessing the relationship I’m never doubting if we have a future but
instead I’m just looking for solutions hey we have this problem cool how do I
solve it what can I do differently this is why there’s some statistics that say
that living with someone before marriage doesn’t actually increase the chance of
a successful marriage in some cases getting married first actually predicts
a successful marriage and relationship and that’s including the people who live
together and then they decided it didn’t work and then they never got married so
the people who actually live together first and got married they already were
filtered right and they still did not have a better chance of having a
successful marriage than people who just got married first we’re committed and
then live together now sometimes this is really counterintuitive to us
freedom-loving types right I don’t know an INFP or an ENFP who loves to be put
in a box and forced to do the same thing or to have a lot of structure
we love
freedom we love infinite possibilities problem is when we have infinite
possibilities we literally just go insane like there’s too much to think
about there’s too many options it’s really really overwhelming and so
something that I’ve been doing more and more is limiting my options
when it
comes to booking a trip I like I have this trip coming up I mentioned I go out
of my way within a few days of deciding on doing this
to book the main flights because then I’m locked in and I have some structure
otherwise I’ll be thinking for months like where could I go what are all the
options and it eats up so much mental space
I find this with work as well I
sent out an email the other day about events I’m hosting in 2019 with the date
and locations and one of the reasons I sent out this email aside from giving
people a heads up you know so they can start planning travel and planning the
year is that until I sent that email I kept debating the dates like is this
weekend better than this weekend or like you know I had a plan but until it was
solidified I kept questioning the planet thinking about other options maybe I
could host this event in that city instead or maybe I could do it there and
that is not a good use of my energy and so one of my techniques is sending out
that email once I’ve emailed thousands of people about when these events will
be I can’t really change the dates or change my mind now that that’s set then
I can focus on planning the details of the events and doing the really cool
things so I’m not saying to limit yourself in life to just have this
boring routine life where you have no possibilities of change in the future
and all that I know that would never work for you it would never work for me
but what I’m saying has worked well for me is to make some commitments that
provide a structure for me to play with it I found this with creativity too I’ll
maybe get into that in another video that when I give myself structure to
work in I’m actually more creative I get more done and I have a lot more fun as
well so don’t look at decisions or structure as bad sometimes that’s how
we’re wired as r-type we don’t want to be locked into something in my
experience across the board whether it’s in relationships in travel and business
even in health committing to some things and making some decisions has freed up
so much of my mental space it’s led to me having more fun having a better life
and ultimately actually feeling a lot more freedom as counterintuitive as that
sounds listen there’s no freedom in your head going in circles there’s no freedom
in overthinking things one way you stop that overthinking and have more freedom
is actually make decisions commit to things and
yourself some structure hope you found this video helpful hope my sickness has
not impaired my cognitive function too much here and I look forward to seeing
you in another video if you’ve enjoyed this do hit the subscribe button and the
bell I publish new videos every Sunday Tuesday and Thursday hope to catch you
in another one soon thanks for watching