What’s surprising is how recent the fight is. The phrase “picky eater” first appears in the lexicon in 1970. Until the early 20th century, there’s scant evidence of concerns over children refusing what they were given, even though what they were given often was an afterthought of an adult menu. As the food historian Bee Wilson wittily put it, during the Victorian era, “Children’s food could be summed up by the word ‘scraps.’” This is something I think about after cooking three different entrees for various family members before eating my own dinner of rejected grilled cheese crusts over the kitchen sink.
If children or parents were unhappy with the older arrangement, their grievances don’t inform the historical record until the late 19th century. That’s when we start to find middle-class parents and experts worrying about children’s diets, as Scottish physician Thomas Dutton did in his 1895 book, “The Rearing and Feeding of Children: A Practical Mother’s Guide.” But his complaints sound like dream wishes to modern ears: “Children will eat anything and everything,” he wrote, complaining about the lack of a special diet for them. Families were feeding children “at the same table as their elders” and giving them grown-up food that he considered “not suitable” for little stomachs.
American pediatrician Luther Emmett Holt’s influential 1894 book “The Care and Feeding of Children” amplified the era’s growing obsession with children’s delicate digestive systems. In detailed charts, he laid out a diet of the blandest foods imaginable: barley gruel, a sort of pudding called rice jelly, oat water, stale bread and broth (which he called “beef juice”). Raw fruits and vegetables were out of the question—Dr. Holt called for them to be stewed—and oatmeal was to be cooked for three hours or more before it was safe for children. “All omelets are objectionable,” he added; eggs were OK only if poached or soft-boiled.
To be fair to Dr. Holt, in the days before reliable washing and refrigeration, he was hardly alone in suspecting fresh fruits and vegetable of causing digestive upset, or worse. British court records from the 19th century include cases of childhood fatalities attributed to “death by fruit,” and until vitamins were discovered, fruits and vegetables were considered empty calories at best.
.. To be fair to Dr. Holt, in the days before reliable washing and refrigeration, he was hardly alone in suspecting fresh fruits and vegetable of causing digestive upset, or worse. British court records from the 19th century include cases of childhood fatalities attributed to “death by fruit,” and until vitamins were discovered, fruits and vegetables were considered empty calories at best... Canadian pediatrician Clara Davis, who conducted a series of experiments in the 1920s and ’30s to see what would happen if small children, including babies, were allowed to pick their own foods. For her study, Davis was able to round up 15 infants from indigent teenage moms or widows and supervise all of their eating for periods ranging from six months to 4½ years, according to articles she published in 1928 and 1939 in the Canadian Medical Association Journal and a 2006 re-examination of her work in the same publication.The children were allowed to choose among 34 items, including milk, fruit, vegetables, whole grains and beef, both raw and cooked. They made some rather eccentric choices, including fistfuls of salt, and most were apparently fond of brains and bone marrow. Sometimes they ate little, and sometimes more than an adult (notably, six hard-boiled eggs on top of a full meal, or five bananas in a single sitting). The tiny subjects varied widely in their self-chosen menus, but the idiosyncrasies evened out over time, and each child, Davis reported, ended up eating a balanced and complete diet.
Sickly and scrawny at the start of the study, they became healthy and well-nourished, she wrote, supporting a concept that was becoming known at the time as body wisdom. “For every diet differed from every other diet, fifteen different patterns of taste being presented, and not one diet was the predominantly cereal and milk diet with smaller supplements of fruit, eggs and meat that is commonly thought proper for this age,” she wrote. “They achieved the goal, but by widely various means, as Heaven may presumably be reached by different roads.”
For decades, experts relied on the study to support the claim that when left to their own devices, children naturally eat what’s best for them. What it actually proved, however, is that children naturally eat a healthy diet when they’re provided only with wholesome options. Davis’s study excluded processed foods, refined flours and sugar. She planned a follow-up experiment to see what would happen if children could choose from processed foods as well, but she never carried out the research.
Not in a clinical setting, anyway. In an uncontrolled and undocumented way, the study has been proceeding on a mass scale for the past 80 years. It shows that given enough choices, children are no more likely to eat what their bodies need than I am—which is not at all, unless my body actually does require Diet Mountain Dew and tortilla chips.
Benjamin Spock discussed Davis’s study at length in his 1946 classic “Baby and Child Care,” using her findings to encourage parents to take a more relaxed approach to feeding. By getting worked up about it, he wrote, you could turn a temporary issue into a lifelong problem.
Sam has a peculiar set of food sensitivities, but he also may just be giving us the business. Modern children learn very early that food is one area where they can wield some agency. Long before they can control what comes out of their bodies, they’re controlling what goes into them.
If this is Sam’s power play, it’s something I probably deserve, having used food as a cudgel for most of my own adolescence. I put my own parents through a good 10 years of mealtime torture. Though I ate without complaint the broccoli and squash that my mother served, being confronted with meat of any kind sent me into fight-or-flight mode (and still does). My carnivorous husband behaves the same way when presented with salad. Because we’re adults, we ascribe this not to pickiness but to preference. Meanwhile, our 9-year-old daughter, having watched us both, will eat neither meat nor most vegetables.
What ends up working in “Green Eggs and Ham” is leaving the protagonist alone. I can see the appeal of this approach. Ignorance seems to have worked for centuries; intervention, in the last hundred years or so, rather poorly. I sometimes wonder if it’s time to stop. This suits Sam just fine. He’s happy to make a meal out of four cotton-candy-flavored yogurts and a Popsicle, as he did recently.
On the other hand, I’d like him to reach his full adult height and retain his teeth, which means he’ll have to expand his menu. As Clara Davis demonstrated, children make good choices when all their options are good, but in modern America—and in our own home—that condition rarely holds. Sam is unlikely to start eating kale and quinoa if they aren’t even in the house.
But the new year brings the kind of zeal and optimism that sends a parent to the farmers market, to replace the Bomb Pops with bananas; the pizza, with peas. If we swap the bad choices with better ones, perhaps 2019 will be the year in which Sam learns to keep down exotic foodstuffs like cucumber or toast.
And maybe the rest of us will do better, too: cutting down on the relentless snacking that keeps us from eating more nutritious foods at mealtimes, and trying the healthier foods whose tastes can take longer to appeal. It’s still January, and one can still hope.
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) refer to some of the most intensive and frequently occurring sources of stress that children may suffer early in life. Such experiences include multiple types of abuse; neglect; violence between parents or caregivers; other kinds of serious household dysfunction such as alcohol and substance abuse; and peer, community and collective violence.
It has been shown that considerable and prolonged stress in childhood has life-long consequences for a person’s health and well-being. It can disrupt early brain development and compromise functioning of the nervous and immune systems. In addition because of the behaviours adopted by some people who have faced ACEs, such stress can lead to serious problems such as alcoholism, depression, eating disorders, unsafe sex, HIV/AIDS, heart disease, cancer, and other chronic diseases.
What is it like to see young people exposed to so much anger? Heartbreaking, says a Times photographer.
In those final weeks, I remember being heartbroken that children were exposed to this anger, were learning from it and participating in it. I knew those parents loved their children just as I do mine, and that common bond was my reminder of their humanity and my own. I was searching for a way to connect in an environment that felt so toxic and violently polarized.
.. One of the most poignant photos from that time was of a boy, dressed as a fledgling Trump, in the front row of a rally with his father in Grand Junction, Colo., just two weeks before the election. Together, they chanted, “Lock her up, lock her up!” The father beamed with pride. Vitriol sputtered from his son Jaden’s mouth.
.. I photographed 10-year-old Gianna Musolino holding her father’s arm in the most tender and gentle embrace, her arms entwined around his, her head nestled in the soft bend of his elbow. There was no mistaking the comfort and protection she felt under his wing and the pride he felt in providing it.
.. I thought again about my son, as I have done so many times over these past few months, imagining with deep sadness what it would be like for him to be taken away from us and what it might do to him. How could any parent possibly support a president capable of this?
The power is in Rogers’s radical kindness at a time when public kindness is scarce. It’s as if the pressure of living in a time such as ours gets released in that theater as we’re reminded that, oh yes, that’s how people can be.
Moral elevation gains strength when it is scarce.
.. Mister Rogers was a lifelong Republican and an ordained Presbyterian minister. His show was an expression of the mainline Protestantism that was once the dominating morality in American life.
.. Once, as Tom Junod described in a profile for Esquire, Rogers met a 14-year-old boy whose cerebral palsy left him sometimes unable to walk or talk. Rogers asked the boy to pray for him.
The boy was thunderstruck. He had been the object of prayers many times, but nobody had asked him to pray for another. He said he would try since Mister Rogers must be close to God and if Mister Rogers liked him he must be O.K.
Junod complimented Rogers on cleverly boosting the boy’s self-esteem, but Rogers didn’t look at the situation that way at all: “Oh, heavens no, Tom! I didn’t ask him for his prayers for him; I asked for me. I asked him because I think that anyone who has gone through challenges like that must be very close to God. I asked him because I wanted his intercession.”
And here is the radicalism that infused that show: that
- the child is closer to God than the adult;
- that the sick are closer than the healthy;
- that the poor are closer than the rich and
- the marginalized closer than the celebrated.
Rogers often comforted children on the show and taught them in simple terms, but the documentary shows how he did so with a profound respect for the dignity of each child that almost rises to veneration. You see his visceral disgust for shows that don’t show respect — that dump slime on children, that try to entertain them with manic violence.
In the gospel of Fred Rogers, children are our superiors in the way
- they trust each person they meet, the way
- they lack guile,
- the way a child can admit simple vulnerability.
Rogers was drawing on a long moral tradition, that the last shall be first. It wasn’t just Donald Trump who reversed that morality, though he does represent a cartoonish version of the idea that winners are better than losers, the successful are better than the weak. That morality got reversed long before Trump came on the scene, by an achievement-oriented success culture, by a culture that swung too far from humble and earnest caritas.
Rogers was singing from a song sheet now lost, a song sheet that once joined conservative evangelicals and secular progressives. The song sheet may be stacked somewhere in a drawer in the national attic, ready for reuse once again.