We like attention that is accolades for our work.
We prefer to learn of these accolades in private.
We would be super happy to get that Nobel Prize, but would not want to be recognized on the street. We would love to write best selling literature, but we do not enjoy the book signing tour. We would love getting the Oscar, but we would hate the afterparty.
We also love being proven right, but we also hate being proven right because it means people never listen to our advice. We would prefer a “thanks for the great advice, everything turned out well,” instead of silently watching the slow moving trainwreck that didn’t need to happen.
My advice: find a smart INTJ, ask for advice, follow it. Ask for all the possible outcomes that could potentially occur and likelihood of all.
Everyone likes attention, but people differ in the kind of attention they prefer.
You do all the work, while your do-nothing coworker slacks off and gets ahead. While it’s easy to let your lazy coworker drive you mad, and be bitter about being overlooked OR you can steal Slacker Chad’s tactics so you get the promotion at work that you deserve, big pay increases, and the praise you deserve.
We all would have loved to be able to outsmart a narcissist in the times when they are hurting us and when we are under siege from their malicious behaviour. But why doesn’t this seem to work? Why is it that many people don’t beat narcissists and in fact end up getting more abused when they try to?
06:44realized that this is a profound soulcontract and if we haven’t made theunconscious conscious we will be showingup in an unhealed in a childhoodcontainer which means that we’re goingto be holding the narcissist responsiblefor our wounds and we’re going to behanding over a lot of fear and pain andinsecurity and neediness which hooks itinto the narcissist and into the wholedynamic and we’re going to play out thatnot winning getting our wounds smashedmore and more and more and more open toget our attention to finally understandthat the narcissist is not the healer ofour wounds the narcissist is themessenger of them because this is theuncanny irony is that narcissus have themost expert ability to find everyinsecurity you’ve got every weak linkand target it with full intensity now isthat ironicor is that actually really meant to be Itotally believe it’s really meant to bebecause that’s what’s making ourunconscious wounds that were our normalwe were just bumping along in life withthem it brings them up in such a waythere’s no ignoring them so if weunderstand that this is a soul contractif we understand that the narcissus isin our life exposing for us ourunconscious wounds to make themconscious then what we’ll do is we’llstop holding the narcissus responsiblefor them we’ll stop feeding thenarcissist with narcissistic supplywhich is initially very very hard to dobecause when our original deepest mostpainful wounds are targeted and smashedand they’re energized it’s very hardto hook in and handover narcissisticsupply and fight back and be terrifiedand incensed and devastated and allthose things but when we realize thatthis is what’s playing out then eventhough we are all of those things westop hooking into the narcissist and weconfront all of those things in ourbodies instead we saw partner we make itall about that we heal we find those wereleased some way up level them and thenwhen we do that we are freed from thewhole debacle and it’s such an irony isthat when we’re not realizing that we’rein a soul contract with an aid and angelin disguise and we’re holding themresponsible for our wounds we want tooutsmart them we’re going to try tooutsmart them but we never will we wantto get beaten up with our wounds more itnever works yet there are any years iswhen we detach and we say you’reactually the messenger just the catalystyou’re the aid this is all about finallybeing able to self partner and come homein my own body and clean up my originaltraumas from my childhood from myancestors from my beliefs from from thescrewy beliefs of humanity you know andwhen I cannot level that it’s actuallynot even about you and my ego is noteven invested at all because it’s notabout you there’s no ego in this is onlyconsciousness is only awakening and whenwe fully stream into that consciousnessand awakening we defeat the narcissistbecause there is no longer any fear orpain or ego battle when we’re in theirarena in their vibration for a battle toeven take place we’ve up leveled toanother frequency here and anotheremotional frequency another dimensionliterally which doesn’t include egosso they unravel and this is what happensis the narcissist in your experiencewill unravel come undone be defeatedsimply because you’re up leveling andtranscending to another reality wherethey can’t use any fear or pain againstyou because we have to understand todefeat a narcissist what is a narcissista narcissist is a false self and what isa false self a false self is aconstructed image that’s not real thatneeds energy outside of itself to existto operate it needs your fear pain andattention and when you become selfpartner to make it all about Europeleveling you snap all of that off all ofthat goes your healing any of theoriginal wounds that means that you werehooked into a narcissist you leave itall behind so the irony is when weunderstand the soul contract we have noneed to outsmart and Isis as the onlyneed we had is to evolve ourselves andthen naturally organically we outsmartthe narcissist because we cut off allconnection so really hope that’s helpedand given you so much food for thoughtabout this and the truth of what playsout with this so if you like my videosand if they’re making sense to you Iwould love you to like and comment andshare and subscribe to my channel andalso too if you want to get even adeeper dive into this stuff you can
How technology reshapes consciousness.
Over the past several years, teenage suicide rates have spiked horrifically. Depression rates are surging and America’s mental health over all is deteriorating. What’s going on?
My answer starts with technology but is really about the sort of consciousness online life induces.
When communication styles change, so do people. In 1982, the scholar Walter Ong described the way, centuries ago, a shift from an oral to a printed culture transformed human consciousness. Once, storytelling was a shared experience, with emphasis on proverb, parable and myth. With the onset of the printing press it become a more private experience, the content of that storytelling more realistic and linear.
As L.M. Sacasas argues in the latest issue of The New Atlantis, the shift from printed to electronic communication is similarly consequential. I would say the big difference is this: Attention and affection have gone from being private bonds to being publicly traded goods.
That is, up until recently most of the attention a person received came from family and friends and was pretty stable. But now most of the attention a person receives can come from far and wide and is tremendously volatile.
Sometimes your online post can go viral and get massively admired or ridiculed, while other times your post can leave you alone and completely ignored. Communication itself, once mostly collaborative, is now often competitive, with bids for affection and attention. It is also more manipulative — gestures designed to generate a response.
People ensconced in social media are more likely to be on perpetual alert: How are my ratings this moment? They are also more likely to feel that the amount of attention they are receiving is inadequate.
As David Foster Wallace put it in that famous Kenyon commencement address, if you orient your life around money, you will never feel you have enough. Similarly, if you orient your life around attention, you will always feel slighted. You will always feel emotionally unsafe.
New social types emerge in such a communications regime. The most prominent new type is the troll, and in fact, Americans have elected a troll as the commander in chief.
Trolls bid for attention by trying to make others feel bad. Studies of people who troll find that they score high on measures of psychopathy, sadism and narcissism. Online media hasn’t made them vicious; they’re just vicious. Online has given them a platform to use viciousness to full effect.
Trolls also score high on cognitive empathy. Intellectually, they understand other people’s emotions and how to make them suffer. But they score low on affective empathy. They don’t feel others’ pain, so when they hurt you, they don’t care.
Trolling is a very effective way to generate attention in a competitive, volatile attention economy. It’s a way to feel righteous and important, especially if you claim to be trolling on behalf of some marginalized group.
Another prominent personality type in this economy is the crybully. This is the person who takes his or her own pain and victimization and uses it to make sure every conversation revolves around himself or herself. “This is the age of the Cry-Bully, a hideous hybrid of victim and victor, weeper and walloper,” Julie Burchill wrote in The Spectator a few years ago.
The crybully starts with a genuine trauma. The terrible thing that happened naturally makes the crybully feel unsafe, self-protective and self-conscious to the point of self-absorption. The trauma makes that person intensely concerned about self-image.