How To Outsmart A Narcissist The Right Way

We all would have loved to be able to outsmart a narcissist in the times when they are hurting us and when we are under siege from their malicious behaviour. But why doesn’t this seem to work? Why is it that many people don’t beat narcissists and in fact end up getting more abused when they try to?

 

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realized that this is a profound soul
contract and if we haven’t made the
unconscious conscious we will be showing
up in an unhealed in a childhood
container which means that we’re going
to be holding the narcissist responsible
for our wounds and we’re going to be
handing over a lot of fear and pain and
insecurity and neediness which hooks it
into the narcissist and into the whole
dynamic and we’re going to play out that
not winning getting our wounds smashed
more and more and more and more open to
get our attention to finally understand
that the narcissist is not the healer of
our wounds the narcissist is the
messenger of them because this is the
uncanny irony is that narcissus have the
most expert ability to find every
insecurity you’ve got every weak link
and target it with full intensity now is
that ironic
or is that actually really meant to be I
totally believe it’s really meant to be
because that’s what’s making our
unconscious wounds that were our normal
we were just bumping along in life with
them it brings them up in such a way
there’s no ignoring them so if we
understand that this is a soul contract
if we understand that the narcissus is
in our life exposing for us our
unconscious wounds to make them
conscious then what we’ll do is we’ll
stop holding the narcissus responsible
for them we’ll stop feeding the
narcissist with narcissistic supply
which is initially very very hard to do
because when our original deepest most
painful wounds are targeted and smashed
and they’re energized it’s very hard
to hook in and handover narcissistic
supply and fight back and be terrified
and incensed and devastated and all
those things but when we realize that
this is what’s playing out then even
though we are all of those things we
stop hooking into the narcissist and we
confront all of those things in our
bodies instead we saw partner we make it
all about that we heal we find those we
released some way up level them and then
when we do that we are freed from the
whole debacle and it’s such an irony is
that when we’re not realizing that we’re
in a soul contract with an aid and angel
in disguise and we’re holding them
responsible for our wounds we want to
outsmart them we’re going to try to
outsmart them but we never will we want
to get beaten up with our wounds more it
never works yet there are any years is
when we detach and we say you’re
actually the messenger just the catalyst
you’re the aid this is all about finally
being able to self partner and come home
in my own body and clean up my original
traumas from my childhood from my
ancestors from my beliefs from from the
screwy beliefs of humanity you know and
when I cannot level that it’s actually
not even about you and my ego is not
even invested at all because it’s not
about you there’s no ego in this is only
consciousness is only awakening and when
we fully stream into that consciousness
and awakening we defeat the narcissist
because there is no longer any fear or
pain or ego battle when we’re in their
arena in their vibration for a battle to
even take place we’ve up leveled to
another frequency here and another
emotional frequency another dimension
literally which doesn’t include egos
so they unravel and this is what happens
is the narcissist in your experience
will unravel come undone be defeated
simply because you’re up leveling and
transcending to another reality where
they can’t use any fear or pain against
you because we have to understand to
defeat a narcissist what is a narcissist
a narcissist is a false self and what is
a false self a false self is a
constructed image that’s not real that
needs energy outside of itself to exist
to operate it needs your fear pain and
attention and when you become self
partner to make it all about Europe
leveling you snap all of that off all of
that goes your healing any of the
original wounds that means that you were
hooked into a narcissist you leave it
all behind so the irony is when we
understand the soul contract we have no
need to outsmart and Isis as the only
need we had is to evolve ourselves and
then naturally organically we outsmart
the narcissist because we cut off all
connection so really hope that’s helped
and given you so much food for thought
about this and the truth of what plays
out with this so if you like my videos
and if they’re making sense to you I
would love you to like and comment and
share and subscribe to my channel and
also too if you want to get even a
deeper dive into this stuff you can

When Trolls and Crybullies Rule the Earth

How technology reshapes consciousness.

Over the past several years, teenage suicide rates have spiked horrifically. Depression rates are surging and America’s mental health over all is deteriorating. What’s going on?

My answer starts with technology but is really about the sort of consciousness online life induces.

When communication styles change, so do people. In 1982, the scholar Walter Ong described the way, centuries ago, a shift from an oral to a printed culture transformed human consciousness. Once, storytelling was a shared experience, with emphasis on proverb, parable and myth. With the onset of the printing press it become a more private experience, the content of that storytelling more realistic and linear.

As L.M. Sacasas argues in the latest issue of The New Atlantis, the shift from printed to electronic communication is similarly consequential. I would say the big difference is this: Attention and affection have gone from being private bonds to being publicly traded goods.

That is, up until recently most of the attention a person received came from family and friends and was pretty stable. But now most of the attention a person receives can come from far and wide and is tremendously volatile.

Sometimes your online post can go viral and get massively admired or ridiculed, while other times your post can leave you alone and completely ignored. Communication itself, once mostly collaborative, is now often competitive, with bids for affection and attention. It is also more manipulative — gestures designed to generate a response.

People ensconced in social media are more likely to be on perpetual alert: How are my ratings this moment? They are also more likely to feel that the amount of attention they are receiving is inadequate.

As David Foster Wallace put it in that famous Kenyon commencement address, if you orient your life around money, you will never feel you have enough. Similarly, if you orient your life around attention, you will always feel slighted. You will always feel emotionally unsafe.

New social types emerge in such a communications regime. The most prominent new type is the troll, and in fact, Americans have elected a troll as the commander in chief.

Trolls bid for attention by trying to make others feel bad. Studies of people who troll find that they score high on measures of psychopathy, sadism and narcissism. Online media hasn’t made them vicious; they’re just vicious. Online has given them a platform to use viciousness to full effect.

Trolls also score high on cognitive empathy. Intellectually, they understand other people’s emotions and how to make them suffer. But they score low on affective empathy. They don’t feel others’ pain, so when they hurt you, they don’t care.

Trolling is a very effective way to generate attention in a competitive, volatile attention economy. It’s a way to feel righteous and important, especially if you claim to be trolling on behalf of some marginalized group.

Another prominent personality type in this economy is the crybully. This is the person who takes his or her own pain and victimization and uses it to make sure every conversation revolves around himself or herself. “This is the age of the Cry-Bully, a hideous hybrid of victim and victor, weeper and walloper,” Julie Burchill wrote in The Spectator a few years ago.

The crybully starts with a genuine trauma. The terrible thing that happened naturally makes the crybully feel unsafe, self-protective and self-conscious to the point of self-absorption. The trauma makes that person intensely concerned about self-image.

Half of 10 Biggest Federal Law Agencies Lack Permanent Chiefs

Number of acting heads produces a lack of leadership stability at agencies that enforce critical parts of Trump agenda

Five of the nation’s 10 largest federal law-enforcement agencies are currently operating with only interim heads amid an unprecedented long-term leadership vacuum that even some of the president’s congressional allies say is untenable.

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF), the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) and the Federal Bureau of Prisons all lack permanent heads.

Several of the agencies—ATF, DEA and ICE—have been without Senate-approved leadership for the entirety of Donald Trump’s term in office. That is the case despite unified Republican control of the Senate and presidency during that period, which typically leads to easier confirmation scenarios.

Because of opposition by some gun-rights groups, presidents of both parties have struggled to get ATF nominees through the Senate—but Mr. Trump has never even tapped anyone for the job. The leader of the Bureau of Prisons need not be Senate-confirmed, but even so it has only an acting director.

CBP has been run by an interim leader since mid-April because its current commissioner was tapped to run the entire Department of Homeland Security—as an acting secretary.

In part, the situation reflects Mr. Trump’s management style. He has said he prefers keeping people in “acting” roles rather than going through the Senate nominating process.

I sort of like ‘acting,’” Mr. Trump said earlier this year. “It gives me more flexibility.”

He is giving himself plenty of that. While vacancies are common toward the end of a presidential administration, the sheer number of them across the Trump administration as well as the turnover in crucial jobs, particularly at prestigious law-enforcement agencies, is without precedent, according to Max Stier, president and chief executive of the Partnership for Public Service.

Of the roughly 700 key positions requiring Senate approval that his organization tracks, only about 400 of them have been filled with a Senate-confirmed official. Some are extremely high profile, like the secretaries of defense and DHS.

But the result is a lack of leadership stability at several agencies that enforce critical parts of Mr. Trump’s agenda. The Drug Enforcement Administration has a prominent role in curbing opioid abuse, a priority of the Trump administration. ATF is a central player in combating gang violence and illegal firearms trafficking, other law-enforcement priorities of the president.

And CBP and ICE both play major roles in enforcing immigration law, the centerpiece of Mr. Trump’s domestic agenda. The president often talks of what he says is a “crisis at the border.”

Steadiness in leadership at government agencies with police powers may be especially crucial. “A law-enforcement organization is dealing with some of the most serious powers of the state and that is the power that involves people’s liberty,” said Mr. Stier.

Running a government with so many vacancies and “acting” leaders at high levels also bypasses the Senate’s constitutionally mandated “advice and consent” role in approving senior leadership at many agencies—and, similarly to Mr. Trump’s recent defiance of House subpoenas, shows little regard for Congress as a coequal branch of government.

“One of the purposes of the constitutional system we have is the checks and balances. The Senate, one of their critical roles, is to be able to in essence vet the senior leadership of our government—choices that the president is making,” Mr. Stier said. “That absolutely is a challenge to the system of government that we have.”

Veterans of government service note that it is difficult to be an effective manager with “acting” in your title.

To effectively lead an agency, you need as much authority and gravitas as you can muster. These are difficult jobs. Senate confirmation definitely helps,” said Robert Bonner, a former federal judge and prosecutor who was successfully nominated to lead both the DEA and U.S. Customs and Border Protection agency under two Republican presidents.

“It is enormously important that the people that work for you in that agency view you, not as an ‘acting,’ but as somebody who is going to be around for a while,” said Mr. Bonner, who was confirmed to four separate positions by the U.S. Senate. “If you’re not a confirmed head of an agency … you’re not going to be able to command as much respect and attention from your own people and from other agencies whose cooperation is important.”

Sen. Lindsey Graham, an ally of Mr. Trump and the chairman of the committee that considers nominees for the DEA and AFT, said he doesn’t approve of the long-term vacancies created by the Trump administration.

“It bothers me. Why aren’t they doing it? They should,” Mr. Graham said about nominating permanent heads for those agencies. The South Carolina Republican is chairman of the Judiciary Committee, which has oversight of the Justice Department and all its law-enforcement agencies—which include the FBI, DEA, AFT, U.S. Marshals Service and Federal Bureau of Prisons.

The lack of any nominees has created a messy situation at the top of several agencies—requiring tricky legal maneuvering to even name an acting successor.

ATF is currently being led by Reggie Lombardo, who holds the title of “acting deputy director.” Ms. Lombardo, who took office earlier this month after the departure of her predecessor, cannot hold the title of acting director because of a quirk in federal law caused by the lengthy vacancy and the lack of a nominee.

The current acting head of the DEA, Uttam Dhillon, had to be transferred from his White House job into a Justice Department post first—to qualify for the appointment as acting administrator because of another requirement in the agency secession rules. Mr. Dhillon was involved in the search for a DEA head while he was at the White House.

And Mr. Trump purged the leadership of the Department of Homeland Security last month in a clash over the direction of the agency. He named CBP commissioner Kevin McAleenan as the acting DHS secretarybypassing a law that required the acting job to go to the undersecretary for Management, Claire Grady. Ms. Grady eventually resigned to resolve the issue—clearing the path for Mr. McAleenan to become acting DHS secretary.