What is the commander personality that can control narcissists? Can you learn that?
Yes. It’s very easy to control a narcissist and give a narcissistic injury.
If you want to do this may I advise to you that I will take no responsibility for what might happen to you. Narcissists are dangerous and out of control lunatics. It’s best to leave them behind.
Okay? With that out of the way here’s how to control a narcissist.
You flip the script and instead of defensive mode you go into offensive mode.
You put a mirror back onto them of their feelings.
You do this in a non threatening and non emotional manner.
YOU are the commander of your emotions.
YOU direct the conversations.
Think of yourself as a doctor giving your prognosis to a patient that is very ill.
Reflecting back onto the patient just how their behavior is causing them harm to their health.
The reasons narcissists behave as they do is to be able, at all costs to NOT reflect and look inside themselves.
When they say something to you like:
“Wow, your work has just only improved slightly. It’s okay, you could use more practice.”
You could say:
“You seem angry”
“You seem upset is something frustrating you?”
“Is something bothering you?”
Hold a mirror up to them. Reflect back to them their emotional states.
When they get negative (and they will) you could say something like:
“You have difficulty being positive don’t you.”
“You hate happiness don’t you?”
“Be appreciative, life is short”
When they try to get you angry and start yelling at you, you could say:
“You enjoy abusive behavior”
“You enjoy starting fights.”
State their feelings, nothing more. Do not get into an argument. Stay calm and ninja.
If they fly off the handle leave with no explanation.
It has nothing to do with you. They cannot reflect on these emotions.
They want you to focus on you so you never look at them, turn it around and reflect the mirror back to them.
With some such as malignants this won’t do a thing, sorry to say…